What would it be like to get into the minds of your students and know, really know, what it is that they wanted you to know? Last time we began such a look into ten things that teens wished we, as adults, knew. Here are the final five things.
6. Don't try to look and act like us
We will be changing to something else soon anyway.
We are not going to look and act like this very long, and by the time you start switching your style, we will move onto some other look. What we really want and need from you is some love, support, correction, and discipline. Make it as "easy-to-stomach" as you can, but we are looking for some standards and guidelines that are fair, but that you will not compromise on.
Hold us accountable to reasonable standards and ones that we all agree on. We like to take part in determining what the expectations are for us. If you want to wear something sort of goofy, we do not care, as long as you really care for us. We may be embarrased by some of your dress and actions, but we will connect with those of you who really care about us as individuals.
7. Give us some space
. . . but not so much that you let us feel abandoned.
Most of us know that the younger we are the less responsibility you can give us on major things, but give us responsibility and authority to choose some things for ourselves. We know that we are not ready to tackle the world at 14, but we are ready to let you question some things we have always accepted. Be there to reassure us that this is a normal process, but do not hover over us if we ask some question that sounds goofy to you and think we have dropped over the deep end.
By the same token, keep a watch on those people we hang out with who you feel might not be the best influences on us. Ask us about our activities while we are away from you and ask our opinions about the way we act in some situations. Please tell us and show us that you love us and will be there."
8. We do not need all the stuff
What we really need is you.
We know this sounds like a paradox, and we are thankful for the things you provide and do for us (even though we may forget to thank you), but we are really interested in knowing that you are interested in us. Not just providing stuff and activities for us. We need you to not get lost in providing the activities and not remember us. Do not let programming become the main thing. Do not get us wrong, we like the stuff, but we would like to have you in our lives and showing us how to live.
9. Be honest in all your relationships
We want to know that you can be trusted.
We get dishonesty all the time from marketing ads to relationships with friends. We are OK when you make mistakes if you will be honest with us and admit that you made a mistake. Too many adults in our lives are not honest. Sometimes the boss asks me to change the deposit slip to the bank because $10 went missing from the cash register drawer at his register. Tell us how to handle those kinds of situations according to the Bible.
We understand that you cannot be at every ball game, band performance, or recital, but be at the ones you say you will be at. Tell my parents to be faithful to each other because when this foundation of relationships in our lives is disrupted, many things get out of whack.
10. Show and tell us you love and care for us
Accept us for who we are, but do not let us stay like we are.
It is good to know that we can come and be around you and be accepted for who we are. Many times we find ourselves in situations in which we are expected to be something that we are not. Allow us to be who we are, but do not let us stay where we are. We cannot see the potential that God has given us and we need to be constantly reminded that God accepts us and still desires for us to continue to be more and more like His Son. We do not always know what that looks like or what we are supposed to do, so you need to help us know what that is, then tell us what we can do to be more like Christ.
You will more than likely have to keep reminding us that we can become who Christ wants us to be. Sometimes we lose sight of that and get comfortable in just trying to get by and get our homework done and all that other stuff we have on our plates. Oh, yeah, when you do have to remind us, we are OK with an appropriate touch and some nice words about what you see God doing in our lives. We forget sometimes that God is at work through us.
These are just 10 things teens wish we knew. There are others, but this covers the biggies. Share these with parents of teenagers, adults in your church, and even with your students. They will be glad to know that you have at least heard of some of the things they wish you knew.