This article is courtesy of ParentLife Magazine.
"I just wish you'd leave me out of your adult conversations, like when you say you and Dad are having trouble with money and can't afford things anymore. I can't help, so it just makes me feel more stressed than I already am!"
This 15-year-old girl put words to what many kids across the country (over 7.7 million kids to be exact) are feeling every day. One of the problems is that many of these children can't verbalize to their parents what this young woman had the courage and maturity to say. So they say it in other ways. They say it in dropping grades, low selfconfidence, signs of anxiety, and a variety of other signals demonstrated by children who worry.
Watch out for stress
You may have found yourself in a similar situation. Your boss' plan to "restructure" turned into severance pay that ran out months ago. Jobs are hard to come by, especially the kind of jobs you want and feel qualified for. You are not alone; your children are not alone. In fact, more than 1 in 10 children live in a home where one parent is unemployed.
The effects of parental unemployment are fairly obvious. The loss of financial resources can be devastating and can cause changes in both living and school situations for many families. The stress on the unemployed parent who feels helpless co-mingles with the stress of a working parent who feels the need to compensate. Often, there is a reversal of roles where one parent takes on more of the child rearing, taking away the structure children are used to. Statistically, there is a greater incidence of child abuse in homes where one parent is out of work. The stress can be overwhelming.
Children internalize that stress. Kids of all ages act out on their inward struggles - whether temper tantrums at 5 or experimenting with alcohol at 12. Children will become more aware of the conversations and emotions of the adults around them. Regardless of how they handle it, the stress can be too much for children. It feels like too much for us as adults.
Depend on your faith
There are situations where you cannot hide the financial stress from your children. But, as a parent, you are your child's rock. Talk about your financial situation with your spouse and other trusted adults. But don't share too much with your children; keep them on a need-to-know basis. They don't need to hear your venting, fear, or anxiety. Children need to see your confidence that your family will get through this time and your trust in God, the One who can get you through it.
Pray about your situation as a family. Memorize verses together such as Philippians 4:12-13 and Jeremiah 29:11. God will use this difficult time to strengthen your family's faith as you hope in Him and the future He has planned for you.
When life hits home - an exercise in gratitude
It is discouraging to not be able to provide for your family. You can easily feel like a failure. You are not! God has allowed these circumstances to come into your life, but He has plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Sometimes to have confidence in what He will do, it helps to remember what He has done so far.
In the book of 1 Samuel, the Israelites were at war. Chapter 7 tells of their victorious defeat. Samuel's response was to build an altar to God.
No matter your current financial situation, if you look hard enough over the course of your life, you can trace the hand of His mercy. Your children need you to remember. They need you to build figurative altars in your gratitude - and it could even be fun to build a literal one.
Have each family write on a stone ways they believe God has provided for them - specifically or for your family as a whole. Your children will follow your lead. They need to hope, and they need to trust that you trust in Someone who can and will provide for you all.