Sermon Introduction:
If I can remind you about what we talked about last week … we talked about several virtues, values, characteristics, and attitudes that are the building blocks of great relationships.
This is how God wired the world to get along. When we have these kinds of values, values, characteristics, & attitudes then we are going to have great relationships.
These are the same things that we see in the nature of God. These are the values, values, characteristics, & attitudes of Jesus
Purity, peace, being gentle, approachable, being merciful, being fruitful, steadfast, and honest. (we saw these in James 3:17)
When we deal with the last one on that list: HONESTY, TRUTH, INTEGRITY.
Honesty 36 timesIntegrity 47 timesTruth 188 times
Jesus answered, “I am the … truth.” John 14:6
"Express the truth in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly." Ephesians 4:15 Amplified Version (circle all things)
When we look at honesty - can we establish up front today that we all struggle with honesty?
Do you get frustrated with not changing?Do you get frustrated with others when they don’t change?Remember last week we talked about what God does when he saves us? When you become a Christian, when he saves you by the blood of Jesus Christ, God declares you not guilty, and adopts you into his family, and he makes an inherent change in you. He places the virtues of Christ in you.
Remember the image of the judge and the criminal last week?
Think about a great ship on the ocean, which is damaged, and in danger of sinking. You do everything you can to get that ship into port and docked. She is safe, but not sound. Repairs may take a long time. Christ wants to make us both safe and sound. Justification gives us the first - safety; sanctification gives us the second - soundness.
Christ wants to do a work of repairing on us. God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. Ephesians 4:15 (MSG)
In Dallas Willard’s book, Revolution of Character: Discovering Christ’s Pattern for Spiritual Transformation, he describes the biblical pattern of how Christ changes us …
Vision - a vision of what Christ wants me to look likeIntention - a decision to pursue what God wants for usMeans - the resources that God gives usStart with a vision of what Jesus’ honesty looks like …
What is the virtue of honesty?Sincere, true, genuine, ethical, sound, trustworthy, upright, straight-forward, factual, real.
Would you admit right now that you are not any of these all the time? Only Jesus can say, “I am the … truth.” John 14:6
And, only Jesus can place his honesty, his truth, his integrity in you. So, rather than just saying I want to be more honest, this morning, I’m telling you that we need to be like Jesus. Let me tell you, that is possible. Because of the change he did in you.
I want you to think about the real value of honesty when it comes to our relationships - spouse, children, workplace, as you share Christ. Honesty has the power to build trust in a relationship. And trust is what fuels a relationship. When you and I have honesty in a relationship it builds that level of trust one to another.”
Look how Jesus is described in Matthew 7:29 “It was apparent that he was living everything he was saying—quite a contrast to their religion teachers! This was the best teaching they had ever heard.” (The Message)
A young lady was soaking up the sun’s rays on a Florida beach when a little boy in his swimming trunks, carrying a towel, came up to her and asked her, “Do you believe in God?”
She was surprised by the question but replied, “Why, yes, I do.”Then he asked her: “Do you go to church every Sunday?”Again, her answer was “Yes!”Then he asked: “Do you read your Bible and pray every day?”Again she said, “Yes!”
But by now her curiosity was very much aroused. At last the lad sighed and said, with obvious relief, “Will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?”
So, we begin to get a picture of honesty, of truth. But it’s also important that we understand what honesty is not …
What is the opposite of honesty?Lying, dishonest, hypocritical, counterfeit, fake, fraud, crooked, deceitful, scheming, shady.
There’s a real danger of comparing ourselves to other people when we try to gauge our honesty meter. If you compare yourself to some of the people at your work, you think, “I’m not doing so bad.”
What is the perversion of honesty?Brutal, cruel, callous, unkind, hard hearted, indifferent, unrelenting, vicious.
Some people speak the truth in a relationship in a way that destroys the relationship rather than builds the relationship. It's important to speak honestly but in a spirit of love. Some people don't tell the truth they launch the truth -- a guided missile into your life.
"Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword. Wisely spoken words can heal." Proverbs 12:18
As you speak honestly let's do it in the way the Bible says to do it. Eph. 4:15 "Speak the truth in a spirit of love".
Here’s my challenge today
TELL THE TRUTH TO GOD
"I know, my God, that You test the heart and are pleased with integrity." 1 Chronicles 29:17
Do you know that repentance is agreeing with God. His word says that I’m a sinner. I might decide to say, no, I’m not so bad, I’m better than my neighbor, you ought to hear the whopper lies he tells. But if I’m honest, I’ll agree with God about my dishonesty.
TELL THE TRUTH TO YOURSELF.
I don’t know about you, but I struggle with being honest with myself. I deceive myself about how hard I work, about how pure my motives are, about how much time I really spend with God, how good I’m eating, etc.
Let me give you an example: (this is an excellent place for you to share how you struggle with being honest with yourself about your golf score, your actual weight, or another area)
TELL THE TRUTH TO OTHERS
Begin with those closest to you. If you and your wife are struggling in the intimacy part of your marriage – you need to try a little honesty.
Get honest with your kids.
Get honest with your co-workers.
Spend time around honest people. People who are pursuing honesty. People who will admit that they are not perfect, but are pursuing this virtue of Christ and allowing Christ to develop this virtue in them.
If you're struggling with a relationship with a parent, husband/ wife, one of your kids it's right on the top of your mind right now and you're thinking "I need to tell them the truth." Ask God for the courage to tell the truth. Ask Him for the courage to take the risk and tell the truth in the relationship.
Proverbs 26:23 says, “Insincere talk that hides what you’re really thinking is like a fine glaze on a cheap pot.”
If you really want to build deep, meaningful, satisfactory, intimate relationships you’re going to have to let people see your weaknesses. There is no other way. Because you’ve got to let them get close. We can impress from a distance but we can only influence up close. And when we get up close, people see our warts and they see our mistakes and we don’t like that.
1 John 1:7 “If we live in the light as God is in the light then we can share fellowship with each other.” Circle “fellowship”. Fellowship is the soul to soul interaction, heart to heart. It’s the deepest level, the intimate connection. The key to genuine fellowship in a marriage, in a friendship or any other relationship, the key is to live in the light.
Ephesians 5:13 says “When things are brought out into the light then their true nature is clearly revealed.” Have you ever noticed how bright light makes you look really ugly?
2 Corinthians 4:2 “We refuse to wear masks and play games. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open the whole truth on display so that those who want to can see.” If you don’t live authentically, you live a lie. You live phony. You try to be somebody you’re not. And that becomes comical.
“I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” – Galatians 2:20
22 Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It's rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, 23 a life renewed from the inside 24 and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you. 25 What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ's body we're all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself. Ephesians 4:22-25 (MSG)