Scriptures: Genesis 27

Introduction

Paul Tournier, the late Swiss psychiatrist-theologian, discovered a recurring psychological problem in his therapy in Switzerland. He called it "The Unblessed Child." It had nothing to do with the gifts of the child, or the ability of the child, or the opportunities in life the child enjoyed, or even material possessions. It had to do with children not being blessed, not feeling approved by his or her parents, feeling somehow they did not measure up, that somehow they never really pleased their parents.

Tony is one of those individuals. He is one of the most talented architects I know. He has taught architecture in universities, even written a book of the subject. He was reared in a home of a very successful business man who was a perfectionist when it came to the expectations for his children. His father has been dead now for two decades, but he is still working to please his father. He is still trying to accomplish something with his life which would make him think, "My Dad would like that."

Rhonda is another. She grew up as the youngest of four daughters. While the others were petite and very girlish, Rhonda was overweight and a tomboy. This brought great displeasure to her mother. Her mother was constantly nagging her about her weight and behavior. A rift developed in their relationship. When Rhonda married and had children of her own, she soon discovered that she was treating her children just like her mother had treated her.

Tragically people grow up in families and never receive a blessing or live with a marriage partner but never feel their approval or go through an entire school year and not feel accepted by teachers or, even worse, their peers.

Everyone wants and needs a blessing. An Old Testament story illustrates this quite well. Isaac had two sons, Esau and Jacob. Nearing the end of his life, Isaac wanted to give his blessing to his oldest son, Esau. But Jacob, through the conniving of his mother, tricked Isaac into giving him the blessing that was intended for Esau. When Esau heard that his father had blessed Jacob, "He cried out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “‘Bless me—me too, my father! . . . Isn't he rightly named Jacob? For he has cheated me twice now. He took my birthright, and look, now he has taken my blessing.’ Then he asked, ‘Haven't you saved a blessing for me?’ . . . ‘Do you only have one blessing, my father? Bless me—me too, my father!’ And Esau wept loudly'" (Gen. 27:34, 36, 38).

There is not enough anguish in my words to properly communicate what was in Esau's voice when he said, "Bless me too, my father." This is the cry of every child to his or her parents. This is the cry of every spouse to his or her mate. This was the cry of Tony and the cry of Rhonda. This is the cry of people you rub shoulders with every day. It may even be your cry.

Genuine acceptance is an unmet need in so many people today, but it does not have to be that way. You can give a blessing to those people. Here’s how.

I. A blessing needs to be felt (v. 21)

In the Scriptures, touch played an important part in the bestowal of the family blessing. When Isaac blessed Jacob, an embrace and a kiss were involved. The same is true today. We want and, often, need to feel the embrace of those we love.

It’s an old story, but its truth transcends time. A little four-year-old girl became frightened late one night during a thunderstorm. After one particularly loud clap of thunder, she jumped up from her bed, ran down the hall, and burst into her parent's room. Jumping right in the middle of the bed, she sought out her parent's arms for comfort and reassurance. "Don't worry, honey," her father said, trying to calm her fears. "The Lord will protect you."

The little girl snuggled closer to her father and said, "I know that, Daddy, but right now I need someone with skin on!"

This little girl did not doubt her heavenly Father's ability to protect her, but she was also aware that he had given her an earthly father she could run to: someone whom God had entrusted with a special gift that could bring her comfort, security, and personal acceptance—the blessing of meaningful touch.

As a teenager, I desperately wanted to please my older brother. Jerry has a unique way of making people feel special. He is a big, but extremely gentle, man. Through my adolescence he was the baseball coach for our teams. I vividly recall the times I would blunder, make an error fielding a ground ball, or strike out at the plate. Instead of scolding me, he would place his enveloping hand on my shoulder, lower to my level, explain my mistake, and then offer instruction for improvement. His touch communicated acceptance in spite of disappointment.

Have you ever noticed how often the Gospel writers speak of Jesus touching people? He touched the sick, the lepers, the blind, the deaf, the prostitutes, the outcasts. A tender moment in the life of Christ was when the children came to him. "Some people were bringing little children to Him so He might touch them, but His disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw it, He was indignant and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me. Don't stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you: Whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." After taking them in His arms, He laid His hands on them and blessed them." (Mark 10:13-16). Jesus modeled for us the communication of a blessing through touch.

Never stop giving meaningful touches. Hugs, holding hands, the stroke of a head, and the arm around a shoulder all communicate acceptance, approval, importance and value. To neglect meaningful touch is to fail to transmit the blessing to others.

II. A blessing needs to be spoken (v. 27)

In the Scriptures the family blessing hinged, also, on a spoken message. Abraham spoke a blessing to Isaac. Isaac spoke it to his son Jacob. "When Isaac smelled his clothes, he blessed him and said . . . " (Gen. 27:27). Jacob spoke it to each of his twelve sons and to two of his grandchildren. You see, a blessing is not a blessing unless it is spoken.

I'll never forget some of the spoken blessings I have received. One was when my college tennis coach told my parents, "If I had a son, I would want him to be like Rick." When I made the decision to ministry my brother, Jerry, said, "If you are going into the ministry be the best minister you can be. I know you can do it." When I left for seminary my mother and father said with tears in their eyes, "We're proud of you." Throughout my early life I have had constant affirmations. I needed those words then. I still need them now.

Great power is incarnated in words. "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (Prov. 18:21). Words have the incredible power to build us up or tear us down. The saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," is an absolute lie. Words have the power of death. They inflict pain. They can destroy a friendship, rip apart a home, or cause harm in a marriage. And when these harmful words are spoken, it is almost impossible to call them back.

Yet, on the other hand, words have the undeniable power to build people up. Words can be the source of healing, forgiveness, and life. Our children, our spouse, our friends, our work associates—everyone we rub shoulders with—long to hear words of approval, acceptance, and affection. And, let me add, they need to hear those words before and after they have made a mistake or gotten into trouble. With the spoken blessing, we express the value and worth of the individual. Believe me, everyone you know longs to hear such phrases as, "I love you." "You are important to me." "You are going to make a difference in this world one day."

Begin today, communicating your blessing to others. One great tragedy in life is that we wait until it is too late to say how we feel about people we love. The Scriptures say, "When it is in your power, don't withhold good from the one to whom it is due. Don't say to your neighbor, ‘Go away! Come back later. I'll give it tomorrow’—when it is there with you" (Prov. 3:27-28). Have you ever been to a family reunion? For most of the time people will talk about sports, recipes, movies, or the latest news events. But something happens the last hour of the reunion. Suddenly, before the family members say their good-byes, meaningful words will be spoken. A brother will say in private to his sister, "I know things will work out in your marriage. I'll be praying for you." An aunt will say to her niece, "You've always made me proud. I know school is hard, but you can do it. I believe in you." Or a daughter will say to a parent, "Look around you, Mom. We didn't turn out half bad, did we? We have you and Dad to thank." So often the most meaningful words are said just before the good-byes. Sometimes when we wait, we wait too long. And those words we wanted to say, or wanted to hear, are lost forever.

III. A blessing attaches special value to the person (vv. 27-29)

When we value something we place great importance on it. This is at the heart of the concept of blessing. In Hebrew, to "bow the knee" is the root meaning of blessing. This root word is used of a man who has his camel bend his knee so he could get on. In relationship to God the word came to mean "to adore with bended knees." Bowing before someone is a graphic picture of valuing that person. Anytime we bless someone, we are attaching high value to him or her.

Isaac placed great value on Jacob when he blessed him. He said, "So he came closer and kissed him. When Isaac smelled his clothes, he blessed him and said: ‘Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the LORD has blessed. May God give to you—from the dew of the sky and from the richness of the land—an abundance of grain and new wine. May peoples serve you and nations bow down to you. Be master over your brothers; may your mother's sons bow down to you. Those who curse you will be cursed, and those who bless you will be blessed" (Gen. 27:27-29). When Isaac told Jacob he smelled like a field he was communicating to his son that he was as refreshing as a newly cut field of hay or wheat. These were words of value to Jacob. First, Isaac was painting a picture for his son that one day other people would bow down to him. Second, it was a reminder that we would be a man of great respect because he was valuable. We can't miss the idea in these two pictures of praise that Jacob's father thought he was very valuable, someone who had great worth.

To express words of high value in some people we don't have to look very deep or very far. But for others it means that sometimes we must dig deep to discover the value of that individual. Sometimes it means that we must see what others do not see. We must see their potential and point it out to that individual. I love Michelangelo's response to the question, "How do you sculpture such beautiful angels?" He replied, "I see the angel in the marble and chisel until I set it free." That is what we must do with some people. We must look beyond the rough exterior. We must point out a person's worth and value, and in doing so, we have the power to set them free. That's giving a blessing.

This is what Jesus did for Peter. Peter was called Simon before Jesus entered his life. Simon was a rough and tough fisherman who was unstable and insecure. Jesus came along and called him Peter, or Rock, and those words changed his life. Before, he was more like shifting sand. But one word or hope and point his value created a man as strong and stable as a rock.

You can turn someone's life around by giving them a blessing. Through meaningful touch, a spoken word, and pointing out their value you have the power to change the direction of someone's life.

Conclusion

Perhaps you have come to adulthood and don't feel blessed. Your parents may never be able to bless you, but there is a heavenly parent anxious to bless you. You don't have to come, like Jacob and Esau deceiving God, pretending you are someone else. You can come just like you are, feeling inadequate or like a failure, knowing you are a sinner, and God will love you, forgive you, and accept you, and make you his child and bless you. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is how God touches us and communicates his blessing to us.

Rick Ezell is the pastor of First Baptist Greer, South Carolina. Rick has earned a Doctor of Ministry in Preaching from Northern Baptist Theological Seminary and a Master of Theology in preaching from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Rick is a consultant, conference leader, communicator, and coach.