"Dad, how do you know?"

"How do you really know that God is real? How do you know somebody didn't just make Him up so we'd all feel better, and then passed that information down to us? What if we made up God to feel less alone?"

These are really good questions and we have answers for them. But questions like these strike fear into the hearts of most parents, so we react with the holy sounding dodge: "Um, well, we just have to believe. The Bible says blessed are those who have not seen and yet still believe."

Or worse, we respond negatively or a shame-them-into-silence slam: "Son! How could you ask such a thing? You know we can't question the Almighty God! I don't ever want to hear you insult Him like that again!"

Take A Deep Breath

When we silence our children, they are forced to wonder in lonely silence: If adults are this afraid of questions, maybe there really are no answers.

Far better is to take a deep breath and invite God to keep you from panicking (at least outwardly). Then deliberately affirm your teenagers for carefully evaluating their faith.

Far too many have been pushed away from the church by adults who shut them out because they ask questions. Choose to walk hand-in-hand with your teen to the solid answers God has provided.

What If You Don't Know the Answer?

It's OK if you don't know the answer. You know the One who knows the answers. Better yet, you know the God who is the answer, so link your teen with this God. The main principle is to create a welcoming and safe environment with statements like:

  • "Good question!"

  • "You're wise to ask questions. When Thomas insisted on proof that Jesus really had risen from death, Jesus gave Thomas evidence. He will do the same for you and for me."

  • "People have been asking that question for generations. It's a hard one."

  • "When you ask God a question, you show that you trust Him enough to know the answer. Good faith move!"

  • "Real truth stands up under questioning. Never be afraid to ask an honest question."

To do this convincingly, recognize your teen's questions as the powerful faith step that they are. Faith questions are signs of growth in Christ, not signs of weakness. When we ask questions about God, they can travel more deeply into a mature faith.

Begin with affirmation, then travel the road to answers. Read your Bible and books such as Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis or The Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel. Invite wiser Christians to share with you the answers they have found to faith questions.

Evidence for God's Existence

Explain to your family that God has not left us without evidence for His existence. He knows we would be foolish to make up something to believe in, so He helps us find the real thing.

NatureNature is not random. It is orderly, consistent and beautiful. Could this order have happened without a Designer to plan it? Could this beauty have happened without a personal, caring Creator? A "big bang" would cause big destruction, not an orderly result. Explosions create chaos, not beauty. Only a Personal Creator brings beauty.

Human IndividualityAll humans are unique. For example, human faces have two eyes, a nose and a mouth, but each face is different. If we were created by a neutral force, why aren't we all clones? The uniqueness of each person points to a Personal Creator who values the uniqueness of His creation.

A Sense of Right and WrongIf there is no good God and no Personal Creator, where did our sense of right and wrong come from? The fact that each person has a sense of right and wrong points to a Moral Creator. Otherwise, everything would be a matter of personal preference. Even people labeled as sociopaths have a sense of right or wrong when the action is against them. Even a serial murderer will admit that it is wrong to kill. It's just that he ignored his conscience and acted on his own sinful schemes.

The Presence of LoveHow do you explain that human beings care about each other? Where does love come from? Why do babies need their parents long after they are not physically dependent upon them? Why do males and females want an exclusive relationship? Why are we lonely when we feel no connection with other people? Rocks and trees don't love, so why do people love? The human ability to give and receive love shows that we are guided by more than instinct. It also shows that we are more than a random collection of atoms.

Yearning for Something MoreIt's not enough to just get up, go to school, do our chores, eat, earn money and sleep. We want more. We want meaning, relationships and purpose. Many see this yearning as a God-shaped emptiness that only God can fill. Unless God fills this void, we can never find contentment no matter how many people we relate to. Serving God brings the purpose and meaning for which we yearn.

Jesus ChristWho is Jesus? Jesus Christ is much more than a religious leader, prophet or teacher. The Jesus of history is God Himself. How do we know? Jesus rose from death never to die again. Why is His resurrection so important? No human can do that. Jesus is God's ultimate revelation of Himself. Through Jesus, God showed people what He is like. He became a human being so the Almighty God could communicate with us.

The BibleMore than just another Holy Book, the Bible comes directly from God. The Bible tells us how God acted in the past, how to obey Him in the present and how He will act in the future. How do we know the Bible is God's book and not another of the many holy books available? The Bible has historical, archeological, scientific and internal proofs. It has more evidence for its reliability than other printed documents. The Bible also proves itself spiritually: 2 Timothy 3:16 describes the Bible as God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.

Is God Real? A Model Conversation

It's not enough to give your child printed evidences. You must talk things over. Welcoming your child's questions is the launching pad. After researching the questions, put the information in a conversational form.

Here's a summary of a conversation I had recently with my kid. Perhaps it could provide a model for future conversations with your kid:

Parent: "You asked how I know God is real? Well you can't prove Him like you prove an algebra problem or a laboratory experiment. Proving God is more like proving friendship or love. You look at the evidences, the actions, the results."

Kid: "So it's a feeling?"

P: "No, love and friendship are much more than feelings. Even when you don't feel loving, love still acts. Let's look at the more concrete evidences of God's existence."

K: "Like trees and clouds and you and me?"

P: "Yep. All that creativity, all that order couldn't have happened by itself. Order and beauty require an Author, a Creator."

K: "What about the big bang theory or evolution?"

P: "When have you ever known an explosion to create something good? The Bible explains in Genesis that each animal, including humans, is created after its own kind. One didn't become another. If they did, why do we still have amoebas?"

K: "Good point! God acts scientifically doesn't He?"

P: "Yep. Scientific truth and God's truth are not different. What's true is true no matter who discovers it," you explain. "The problem is that some scientists make conclusions that don't match reality. The Genesis account of creation offers a perfectly logical explanation for what science says about the universe in this case-and in many other cases. Debates over creation are more about philosophy than about science."

How to Find the Answers

On you'll go, maybe in one conversation, more likely in several, to help your teen discover answers. Some answers you won't fully find until heaven, but you'll keep a list of those and keep researching. In the meantime you can:

  • Go directly to God for the answers,

  • Act on what you already know ("I don't know why my friend's in a wheelchair but I do know we can be give-and-take friends rather than me pity him."),

  • Continue asking and gathering information until you understand.

This article is courtesy of Parenting Teens magazine.

Karen Dockrey is the author of more than 30 books for teenagers and their leaders.