3 Practical Ways to Help People Who Are Hurting

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Most likely there are people you minister to every day who are going through difficult times. You can offer consolation in real and tangible ways.

Years ago, I asked a friend of mine how she was doing and got this response: "My mom is a heroin addict and I just want to kill myself. How do you think I'm doing?"

That was a pivotal point in a journey I'd been on for a long time. All around me, friends were experiencing difficulties, frustrations and pressures with life. While some of my friends worked things out in a healthy manner, many others were unable to do so, resulting in isolation and desperation.

"I want to help, to do something, but what?"

During this time, I began to ask myself: How can I help my friends? I'm not a therapist or a counselor. I want to help, to do something, but what?

Most likely there are people around you who are going through difficult times. They need encouragement, support, love and compassion. Here's the good news: You can offer consolation in real and tangible ways.

The story of Elijah teaches us just how to do this. It's the account of Elijah the prophet, describing a time when he battled depression and suicide and how the Lord intervened. Through this narrative, we will see the 

1. Meet basic needs.

The Story: Elijah was like you and me. He went through emotional ups and downs. One of his greatest downs came in the aftermath of being used by God in a supernatural way to defeat the prophets of Baal (see 1 Kings 18:1-40). After Queen Jezebel threatened his life, Elijah went a day's journey into the desert and sat down under a broom tree alone to die. In 1 Kings 19:4, he said: "I have had enough! LORD, take my life, for I'm no better than my fathers."

Elijah fell asleep, and the next thing he knew, an angel of the Lord woke him up. The angel had baked bread for Elijah and supplied him with a jar of water. Twice, as Elijah slept, the angel encouraged Elijah in this manner.

The Lesson: From this scenario, we learn the importance of caring for the physical needs of those around us. Sometimes, if we're not sure how to help, a good place to start is with bodily provision. When someone is going through a very difficult time, normal sleeping and/or eating patterns can be disrupted. When you notice such changes in someone's lifestyle, pick him up and take him out to eat, or bring him a hot meal. This may seem like a small gesture but it goes a long way.

2. Nurture with gentleness.

The Story: After Elijah had eaten, the angel directed him to Mt. Horeb where God was about to pass by. I find it fascinating how God chose to reveal Himself; indicating what Elijah needed most at that moment. God could have displayed His power, His majesty or His holiness. He could have revealed His strength through a powerful wind, earthquake or fire. Instead, God revealed Himself to Elijah through a gentle whisper.

Clearly, what Elijah needed most was gentle, nurturing encouragement in the midst of encountering God and worshiping Him. The prophet didn't need to experience the power or the strength of God, but a gentle reminder that, "I am with you, I have been with you, and I will be with you."

The Lesson: The second thing we can do for those who are hurting is nurture and encourage them with God's gentleness. Gentleness builds up and affirms. It does not minimize the situation. Practically, you can reflect God's nurture in a very real way by becoming what I call a "prayer listener." Provide a refuge where that person can share his or her feelings with safety and security, not worried about what you might think or say. While listening, be in a continual state of prayer. Use what is said as a foundation for specific prayers.

Scripture is clear about prayer's healing nature. James 5:15 says, "The prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up." Interestingly, Elijah is mentioned in this very same passage as not only being a man like us, but one whose prayers were powerful and effective.

3. Restore hope with a new perspective.

The Story: When Elijah cried out to God, feeling alone and threatened, God gave him a new perspective, reminding him that he was not alone, that there were others to protect and fight alongside him.

The Lesson: Often when a person is hurting, he or she may lose perspective and feel abandoned and hopeless. In those moments, it's hard to hear the "voice" of God reminding of His promises of hope and faithfulness, healing and future strength. But you can help people hear that voice.

Make sure you've first earned the right to speak the promises of God into others' lives by being there for them, caring for their physical needs and listening to them. Then gently restore their perspectives, letting them know that their enemies will be defeated and they will find hope and restoration. Become a reminder of the promises of God.

Never Forget: God Is the Healer

The story of Elijah's encouragement is a testament that despite painful struggles, God heals people, enabling them to move forward with life and eventually become healthy again. What's more, you don't have to be a professional therapist to meet them at their lowest points. No matter what people are going through, with time and persistence on your part, you can play a significant role in your their physical and spiritual healing.

Jerome Stockert serves as the lead pastor for a church plant called The Life Journey Church in Bossier City, La. The church owns and operates Ethnos Coffee and Tea, its main connection point to the community.