A Front Row Seat to God’s Faithfulness

People will sometimes ask me if I am angry with God for allowing blindness to come in the prime of life. Paul described his physical affliction as “a thorn given me in the flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7). Shortly after going blind, I had to transition my vast library of books into audio titles. One of the first audiobooks I enjoyed was An Unhurried Life by Alan Fadling. He observes that Paul uses the word “given” when describing the thorn in his flesh. I determined then that I was not going to view blindness as a setback, but as a gift from the Lord to be used in a most special way.

I knew I could make this resolve because of God’s promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” As I transitioned into quite literally the darkest season of my life, I knew with a head knowledge that God’s grace would be sufficient. Now, I needed to know it with my whole heart. I had seen God move, and in so many ways, God had allowed me to live ten lifetimes leading up to the point of blindness. At just twelve years old, I had a great hunger for the Lord and people sensed a call of God on my life, so much so that God provided an opportunity to serve internationally across an entire summer with a family friend who left a comfortable life in Tennessee to serve in Romania.

My parents struggled with allowing me to go because of my age, so they told me I’d need to raise all of my own funds, hoping that would derail the trip. Yet, God provided again and again as people handed me envelopes, explaining that the Lord had asked them to give money to me for this trip. To my parents’ amazement, we watched God supply over and over until the trip was completely paid for. More than the financial provision, it was the Lord who clearly spoke to my parents’ hearts, assuring them that if they released me into His hands, He would protect me, and He did across the following summers as I traveled through Germany, Hungary, Romania, and Ukraine.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.”

Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 CSB

These experiences and the insatiable desire for God to be glorified in my life and among those I might have the opportunity to serve set my course. I was serious about serving God, but I was stunned when I felt God directing me to plant a church at age twenty.

I gave excuses: “I’m far too young. I’m not married. I don’t have children. Families will not come where there is a single pastor.” Despite my arguments, I could not persuade Him. I knew in my heart that if I did not step out in faith and plant this church from scratch, that I would be living in willful, sinful disobedience. So, with ten people, Preaching Christ Church was formed in 2001.

During those years of trying to gain traction, I would remind the Lord that I was right about people believing I was too young to pastor, and again, God was proven to be faithful. He brought families to call this church home and moved among us, despite my doubts.

Throughout my life and ministry, I have had a front row seat to God’s miracles. So, when blindness suddenly entered my life in 2018, I looked back at God’s track record. From my youth, God had been completely reliable. The same faith it took to go on mission trips as a kid and the same faith it took to plant a church, was the same faith it would take to face the life-altering handicap of blindness.

If God’s grace had sustained me through the various seasons of my life, would His grace not be sufficient now? As darkness closed in on me, my resolve deepened. I would move forward in God’s plan no matter what I faced along the way.

One of my favorite hymns is “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus,” written in 1922 by Helen Lemmel, who also suffered from late-onset blindness. Now that I am well along the path of blindness, I find the lyrics of this song inspiring.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Helen Lemmel

I don’t need working physical eyes to seek the face of Jesus, no matter suffering may come. To turn our eyes from our own situations to the eternal truth of what God has done for us in Christ will cause our sufferings to grow strangely dim, not that they don’t matter and not that they don’t hurt, but that the glory of God is so much better. He is better.