Christmas Encouragement for the Pastor’s Wife

Christmas is a season that many of us look forward to every year. We love the lights, the decorations, the music, traditions, the family gatherings, and we love to celebrate Jesus’ birth with our church family.

But as a pastor’s wife, December can also be one of the busiest and most demanding times of the year. You may feel pressure to plan all of the fun Christmas experiences for your family, while also carrying a long list of needs and expectations from your church.

Maybe it’s the Christmas program your church does every year, or hosting the staff Christmas party, and finding gifts for all those who serve. If you have kids, you may be trying to keep up with all the school parties and activities while also holding onto your own family traditions.

All these things are good, and you may truly enjoy and look forward to them, but they can quickly fill every available space on our calendars. If we’re not careful, we will quickly spread ourselves too thin and lose focus on why we are celebrating in the first place. So how do we guard our time and hearts during one of the busiest seasons of the year?

Give Yourself Permission to Say No

It’s okay to decide that your family cannot participate in everything. Don’t work so hard to show up for everyone else that you don’t have anything else leftover to give to your own family. It’s okay to ask others for help! You don’t have to carry everything on your own. This may mean asking someone else to host the Christmas party this year. Or it may look like attending a Christmas event, rather than being the one responsible for leading it.

Put Family on the Calendar

Protect your family time by blocking it out on the calendar before December gets too busy. Reserve an evening for Christmas lights or a family movie night. Make space for a family tradition that matters to you. When we place these things on the calendar ahead of time, it reminds us that our family is a priority, rather than leaving them with whatever time is left after ministry. As a pastor’s wife, it may come naturally to focus on others and put their needs before your own. Sometimes the pressure and expectations we feel really do come from other people, but sometimes they come from us. We feel like we need to meet everyone’s needs and we don’t want to disappoint anyone. We want Christmas to be meaningful for the church, special for our kids, and memorable for extended family, but it is not your responsibility to make Christmas feel special for everyone.

It’s important to remember that you can’t meet everyone’s needs; only Christ can do that. And this truth should bring us a lot of freedom. Extend yourself grace and give yourself permission to let some balls drop or just choose to carry less. It’s okay if the Christmas cards don’t get mailed out this year. It’s okay if you have to take a break from a family tradition because it just doesn’t fit into your schedule. Your faithfulness isn’t measured by the number of parties you host, the gifts you buy, the food you make, or the number of people you make happy. You can serve others joyfully, without carrying the weight of trying to be everything to everyone.

Don’t Miss Christmas Itself.

Don’t become so busy doing Christmas things that you miss Christmas itself. Remember why we are celebrating in the first place. Christ the Savior has come. So, let’s slow down, make space to read His Word, and spend time in prayer. Protect your time to be still and just sit in His presence. Don’t do this to simply check off another thing on your Christmas list, but because you need Jesus in this season and every season.

Read the familiar story of Christ’s birth again and ask God to help you see it with fresh eyes. Ask Him to renew your heart with wonder and draw your attention back to Christ. If we want to be transformed by Jesus, we have to make space to be with Him. Don’t let your calendar crowd out your time with Christ and don’t let the things you do become more important than the One you’re celebrating.

The gospel frees us from performance. We don’t have to create the perfect Christmas, have the best decorations, or attend every event. The greatest gift we could ever receive this Christmas is Jesus. Emanuel has come. God is with us.

He sees you when you are tired. He is near when your schedule feels overwhelming. He is faithful when you cannot get everything done that you hoped to do. Give yourself grace and release the pressure that was never yours to carry. You don’t have to work hard to make Christmas meaningful, Christ already has.