But God

Excerpted with permission from Hope, Hurt, and Healing by Catherine Renfro. Copyright 2025, B&H Publishing.

Suicide is a harsh reality to face. The mention of it alone throws our minds into a whirlwind of questions we may never answer.

How could anyone ever consider doing such a thing? What has to be going on in someone's mind to make them think this is the best solution? Does this person not care about anyone but themselves? I hear these types of questions asked frequently. And while they are understandable, they often come from the perspective of one who is personally and emotionally removed from situations and/or individuals battling these vicious thoughts.

It's natural to want to pinpoint the "why" behind such a permanent decision, but it's not always possible.

There's no one mold that fits every person who has either taken his or her own life or battled with the thoughts of doing so. My brother, Barrett (who committed suicide in 2008) is a perfect example of this. Never in a million years would I have guessed that one day we would find ourselves in a season of life where my own brother contemplated such a thing. There were no signs of it, no warnings for it, and in our minds, there was no real reason for it.

But God.

These two words are mentioned more than forty times together in scripture and they change everything because they offer hope that cannot be found anywhere else. In the Bible, we see example after example of everyday people who endured circumstances they wouldn't have guessed or even chosen, and in some cases outsiders made assumptions.

In the book of John, chapter 9, the story of a man who had been blind since birth is told. When Jesus' disciples encountered the man, they wondered why he was blind. "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

Just two chapters later in John 11, a man by the name of Lazarus was sick and his sisters, Mary and Martha, sent word to Jesus in hopes that he would heal Lazarus. By the time Jesus finally arrived, Lazarus had already passed away and been buried for four days, according to John 11:17. Mary and Martha were devastated over the loss of their brother, and they wondered, "Why?"

But God.

He changed everything for the blind man as Jesus healed him by restoring his sight and for Mary and Martha as he raised Lazarus from the dead. At first glance, we might read these two stories in the Bible and think the miracle is the outcome of these circumstances, but there is so much more to it. There was a purpose behind the man being blind since birth and a purpose for Lazarus dying before Jesus physically went to him. In both circumstances, Jesus said these things happened "so that the work of God might be displayed in him."

Here's a thought. Despite what some may say or assume, sometimes the circumstances in our life have nothing to do with us and everything to do with what Jesus wants to do in us and through us as God's work is on display. Maybe Jesus is using unexpected circumstances in your life right now to show you and others around you who he is, the power he has, and the hope he offers. That is what he began doing in my life after losing Barrett.