Women's Leaders Wrestling With Stress & Delegation

Women’s leader Betsy Langmade is our guest blog writer today.  I know none of you ever face stress, but if you ever should, I believe her suggestions here can be a huge help!  Enjoy and be challenged to make a difference as you read this great post!

stress-300x227.jpg"I’m recently dealing with a very difficult season.  The landscape of my current “to do” list is like Mt. Everest in front of me.  I have way more to do than time to do it.  Can anybody else identify with that?  I know some of you, or maybe most of you can.     

I’ve been working with a wellness coach for several months and in one of our recent sessions I had a complete meltdown.  When she asked me, “okay, tell me, what’s really going on with you?”,  I had to admit that it had less to do with my plateau in weight loss, or my shifting hormones, or not getting enough exercise.  It had to do with another key area of wellness – STRESS.

We all have to deal with stress at some level.  And some seasons seem to be worse than others with a million different factors playing into the equation.  But the point is, you can implement some strategies that can help you alleviate or manage the stress in your life.  My coach and I hit on one such strategy that is a huge weakness for me.  Since misery loves company, and because I know women well, I’m going to assume that you all are in this pit with me.  It’s the dirty D word – DELEGATION.

I don’t like it, I don’t do it, and I’m unskilled at it.  I asked my husband for help.  After all, he really knows me best after 35 years of marriage.  I said, “Tell me why I’m no good at delegating?”  He laughed.  This was an honest question and a cry for help, so I persisted.  I said, “no, really….”, to which he responded gently, “do you think it has anything to do with control?”  BINGO!
So, I began to set out with some thinking that I’ve learned in my months of being coached.  Janis, my coach, is great at provoking me to put together a plan that will set me up for successful changes.  I’d like to share it with you in hopes that it will be useful to you.


Identify your inner challenges – these probably come from personality/temperament/life experience.
1)    Fear of losing control
2)    Commitment to perfection vs. excellence
3)    Habitual Martyr Syndrome – woe is me, I have so much to do
4)    Pride in two forms
a.    Wanting all the credit
b.    Always thinking your way is best/right
5)    Being intoxicated on busy-ness – Some people are afraid to slow down – really.  We say we want it but when we do slow down – we don’t even know what we consider “fun” anymore.

Identify your excuses – they are multiple and messy
1)    I can do it better myself
2)    I may have to redo the work
3)    It takes too long to explain it – I might as well do it
4)    I will feel guilty asking someone else to do my work

Identify the benefits to you and others – they are many and wonderful (say this out loud!!!)
1)    More overall efficiency for you
2)    Reduced stress/anxiety – ask yourself if you’re afraid of “free time” or margin in your life?
3)    Satisfaction of giving another person the joy of accomplishment/learning something new/growing in their role
4)    Freeing up brain space to be creative, solve problems, identify new processes
 Identify your strategies for success – this provides direction (you’ll never get anywhere you’re not headed)

1)    Get advice from someone you’ve observed to be a good delegator
2)    Determine to ask for help – force yourself
3)    Identify a few people around you that have the potential to grow in their work/skills
4)    Identify a few people that have time/resources that would be helpful to you
5)    Fight with all your might against perfectionism.
6)    Rehearse humbling thoughts/prayers that remind you that your way is just that – your way. Someone else’s “way” has value too.

Practice makes perfect!!!!  Just do it!!!  Small choices in the direction of delegating can become a whole new work style and lifestyle for you.  Someone around you – maybe many people are going to be happy about that"


Betsy Langmade.JPGBetsy Langmade, is a Lead Event Coordinator, Women’s Enrichment Events, LifeWay Christian Resources, Nashville, TN and former women’s ministry leader. She has enjoyed working with women in varied ministry settings for almost 30 years.  She spent many years coordinating women’s ministry in her local church and serving as a trainer for LifeWay Christian Resources.  Betsy enjoys building relationships with women as she teaches and speaks at women’s conferences, retreats and events.  Uniquely, she also has much experience on the planning side of large and small events, locally and nationally.  She finds inexpressible joy in the moments she’s privileged to witness women encounter God in a personal way.  On whatever side of the conference that God chooses to use her, Betsy pours her heart and soul into creating an environment where God can move. Currently, she is on the women’s ministry team at Long Hollow Church, Hendersonville,TN where she lives with her husband of 34 years.  Spending time with David and her four children is her greatest joy.


Helpful resources:

§    A Place of Quiet Rest, Nancy Leigh DeMoss
§    Margin, Richard Swenson
§    Freedom From Busyness, Michael Zigarelli
§    Surrender, Nancy Leigh DeMoss
§    The Frazzled Female, Cindi Wood
§    Victoriously Frazzled, Cindi Wood

  • Flavia

    Betsy, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this article.
    You have no idea how the timing is perfect. I had a horrible week last week, and spent this weekend trying to sort out what was wrong…. You certainly gave me some answers.

  • Betsy Langmade

    I had a feeling that I had lots of company in this. Thanks for sharing.