God Created Preschoolers with Basic Needs

You will find the following basic needs introduced in the book Teaching Preschoolers: First Steps Toward Faith on pages 17-18. Thomas Sanders and Mary Ann Bradberry provided an excellent overview of these needs. You are encouraged to read each overview then explore each need with your preschooler(s) in mind as you read the following.

Love

During the Last Supper, Jesus gave a new commandment. "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13: 34-35). By loving preschoolers, we are not only carrying out this commandment but also teaching them by modeling for them how to "love one another."

Preschoolers need a loving environment in order to grow and thrive. All areas of development are affected by love. Love serves as an internal motivator for preschoolers to take the risks involved in growing physically. You can see the love in their eyes as they connect with a parent or teacher who is coaxing them to take that first step. The love attracts them to move closer to that parent or teacher.

In social and emotional development, love serves as the context for growth. The love a child sees in the face of a parent or teacher guides him to have positive feelings about himself and his world. This love leads to acceptance which frees a child to develop effective social skills and skills in expressing his emotions in constructive ways.

Love also plays an important role in mental development. A child that knows she is loved and is lovable does not have to spend mental energy on dealing with a lack of love. That love frees a child to develop mental skills that enhance her abilities to love and grow according to God's plan for her life.

Love is the basis for spiritual growth. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul provided a concise definition of love and the role of love in the Christian life. Paul spelled out the results of God's kind of love that is patient, kind, and never fails. God's love is learned through experiences of loving relationships with parents and other significant people. As children experience unconditional love from their parents and teachers, they will easily understand God's grace and love for themselves.

In addition to identifying love as the greatest of faith, hope, and love (1 Cor. 13: 13), Paul also listed love first in the fruit of the Spirit:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
                                                                        —Galatians 5:22-23

All aspects of the fruit of the Spirit are relational. According to God's plan, people who experience love from birth usually grow unhindered in their relationships with God and others. Love plays a significant role in all aspects of developing a strong spiritual foundation for life.

As you consider each child, note the presence or absence of a loving family and church family.

Teachers, what do you love about the boys and girls in your group? Do you struggle to love a child? If so, prayerfully consider the cause of the struggle. Ask God to help you love these children. These children need your love.

Parents, is your home a loving environment? If not, seek a counselor to help you express your love in healthy ways. Perhaps your own lack of feeling loved is preventing you from freely loving your child.

Trust

In many ways trust is a result of love. Most of us find trusting someone we do not love to be difficult. Loving relationships are built on trust.

Infants are learning that they can trust people to take care of them. As they grow older, they learn to trust themselves to take care of themselves. At the same time they learn that God can be trusted with their lives. God wants them to grow and take care of themselves as He meets all of their needs.

As preschoolers grow, they develop a more and more realistic understanding about their world. For some preschoolers reality may not be an environment that can be trusted. These children need the love and care of a church family so that they can experience trust in some form. For other children the reality of an environment they can trust is real and significant. They thrive in positive, loving relationships with parents and people including teachers at church. Both types of environments are real in all economic levels and all ethnic groups.

The salvation experience depends on the ability to trust God with one's life. Jesus comforted His disciples by saying, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me" (John 14:1). As preschoolers practice trusting their parents and teachers, God is preparing them to trust Him. The ability to trust is a major spiritual foundation that will influence life through eternity.

Parents, as you think of your own children, can they truly trust you? Take a few moments to evaluate the level of trust in your home. Think of specific experiences of trust. When your baby cried, did you comfort her and try to meet her needs? When you promised your child that you would give him something or do something with him, did you follow through?

Teachers, how about the level of trust in your church family? Are you in the room before the first child arrives? Do you focus your attention on the children or on the other teachers during a session? Can preschoolers experience a trusting relationship with you?

In considering each child, note the opportunities he or she has to develop the ability to trust people.

Security

Security is an integral part of our relationship with God. "The security of the believer" is the doctrinal term for the way believers are saved eternally. Jesus taught this truth when He said, "No one can snatch them out of my Father's hand" (John 10:29). Hence, true believers do not have to worry about losing their salvation. We can live our lives in the security of God's love and grace.

Again, God sets the pattern for parents and teachers in meeting the need for security. Through love, trust, and acceptance, parents and teachers can develop a secure relationship with each child in which he knows he is secure. In order to learn and grow, preschoolers need to feel secure in their environment. A safe environment frees preschoolers to explore and enjoy their world.

The standards for baby equipment, restraining seats in cars, and toys are constantly being revised today. Think how often you hear of "recalls" in the news? It is no wonder that parents today have raised the standards for clean preschool rooms in church buildings. They expect teachers to provide a clean, safe, secure room for their preschoolers. Teachers, however, wash their hands, clean the toys, and follow strict sanitary procedures in diapering young preschoolers as a way of expressing their love for preschoolers and their parents. They fix or remove broken toys and equipment immediately for the same reason. Parents are looking for church families that have teachers with this kind of love. If safety is not a priority, parents need to become advocates for their preschoolers and help the leaders of the church family provide a safe and secure learning environment for their preschoolers.

Another aspect of meeting the need of physical security is understanding the presence of allergies in your group. Parents need to know that teachers will only serve healthy snacks such as natural juices and unsalted crackers. If other foods are planned for an activity, always ask for permission from the parents in case of allergies. Avoid sugary snacks and the temptation to give candy as gifts.

In addition to a physically safe environment, preschoolers need an emotionally secure environment. Parents and teachers need to take care of themselves emotionally. For example, if parents and teachers struggle with feelings of anger, they need to deal with the causes of the anger and learn how to control their feelings. When children are in danger due to emotional outbursts, the church family needs to take swift action to protect the children and help the parents and teachers get help for their problems.

Unfortunately, we live in a dangerous world today. Churches must be proactive in providing security procedures that allow parents to trust the church family when they leave children in a preschool classroom on Sundays, Wednesdays, and during the week. Parents need to know that teachers are trained and can be trusted to care for their children. Parents also need to know that they are the only persons who can take a child from a classroom. For information about providing such security procedures, use the book Preschool Sunday School for a New Century by Cindy Lumpkin and Thomas Sanders.

Parents and teachers, carefully evaluate your homes and classrooms to make sure they are safe for your preschoolers. Repair or remove anything that might injure your children. Also prayerfully consider your emotional state. Do you express your anger in constructive ways? If not, seek professional help to assist you in controlling your emotions in acceptable and safe ways.

As you consider each child, note his or her sense of security level. Does he feel secure enough to try new activities? Does he ever seem afraid of you? Does he express joy and comfort when with you or does he shy away from you?

Acceptance

Another result of love is acceptance. All preschoolers including infants have a way of knowing if people accept them. If they do not feel accepted by you, they will resist you and will not be able to trust you.

God accepts each of us just the way He created us. In Genesis 1:31, "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good." God accepts us just the way we are when we come to Him. We do not have to behave better before He accepts us when we come to Him. Children are like that. They need acceptance even though they may not be able to verbalize it. They come to the adults in their lives with great need to know that significant adults in their lives accept them. This acceptance enables them and us to grow and improve our lives.

However, God does not always approve of our behavior. He is clear about His expectations through the Ten Commandments (Ex. 20), the commandment to love one another (John 13:34), and the life and teachings of Jesus as a model for Christian living. When we fail to live up to His expectations, He does not approve of our behavior, but He continues to love and accept us as His children.

God teaches us how we are to accept our children by the way He accepts us. Our preschoolers will grow and develop as they experience our acceptance. They also need to know and understand our expectations of them. When they fail to meet the expectations, we need to follow God's example in our response.

Parents, how do you express your acceptance of your child as a person? Recall something you said to your preschooler today to express the way you accept your child. Did she understand you were expressing your acceptance of her?

Teachers, how do you show your acceptance of each child? How do they show their acceptance of you? Do you struggle to accept one of the preschoolers in your group? Be honest with yourself, because the needs of the other children may be blinding you to the needs of this child. Perhaps a feeling that you do not accept her as she is causes the chronic misbehavior of a child.

Add a note to your portfolio for each child as to the child's ability to trust. If you discover a child who is struggling to trust you, seek professional help to look for ways to enable him to trust you.

Independence

When God created humanity, He gave us independence from control. In Genesis 2:16-17, God gave Adam the freedom to eat from any tree in the garden with a caution not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But Adam and Eve chose to eat from that tree. In the same way God gives us freedom of choice today. He wants us to be independent with the knowledge of His expectations. God is always with us to guide us and meet our needs.

Both parents and teachers can help preschoolers learn how to handle their God-given independence by following God's example. By meeting their need for independence, parents and teachers are giving preschoolers the opportunity to learn how to make choices and take care of themselves. Just as adults need to know God is with them and available to help them when they make choices, preschoolers need adults nearby to help them when they cannot handle something by themselves.

This independence involves letting a child do things for himself. For example, older preschoolers can put on their coats without help. This practice will take longer, but the preschoolers usually succeed with a feeling of "I did it myself!" Sometimes, however, preschoolers find some things difficult such as pouring milk from a small pitcher. When preschoolers are allowed to wipe up the spilled milk without being shamed for what happened, they will be encouraged to practice pouring until they are able to do it without spilling any milk. By meeting the preschoolers' need for independence, teachers and parents are fostering the ability to solve their own problems and develop a sense of responsibility that will last a lifetime.

Parents, consider ways you can meet your child's need for independence. Are you letting your child try to put on his coat by himself? Are you letting your child wipe up her own spilled milk?

Teachers, sit on the floor of your classroom for a few moments. Look around the room to see if any changes are needed to make it possible for the boys and girls to do things for themselves. Where are the coat hooks? Can a preschooler hang up his own coat? Where are the puzzles you plan to use during a session? On a high shelf or on a low table or on the floor?

As you consider each child's level of independence, note what he can do for himself without help. When a child does something for himself, remember to express your approval in appropriate ways.

As discussed with the need for independence, God gave humankind freedom in making choices. This freedom of choice causes us to become independent individuals. The experience of freedom in making choices enables people to learn how to make the right choices for their lives. Adam and Eve certainly learned the hard way how to make the right choices. This experience of making choices needs to begin during the preschool years.

Freedom to make choices in the home and classroom is not permissiveness. Just as Adam and Eve knew their limits, preschoolers need to know the boundaries or limits within which they have choices. As a preschooler matures, these boundaries or limits need to be gradually expanded in order to give the preschooler more experience in handling freedom.

The experience of making choices at home and at church provides the child opportunities to develop skills in making the right choices. Instead of picking out a toy for a baby to play with, offer him a choice of two toys. Instead of keeping all of the three-year-olds in a group as they experience the activities during a session, have two or more activities available for the preschoolers to choose from as they individually move from activity to activity. This freedom fosters a sense of responsibility and skill in making wise decisions.

Meeting the need for freedom also plays a role in guiding a child to self-discipline. A child that is externally controlled by others will struggle to develop the ability to control himself. Freedom in making choices allows a child to practice making the right choices that lead to an inner sense of control. Have you ever considered why self-control is listed as part of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23? By truly loving God and obeying Him, believers experience the freedom of choosing God instead of all the little gods that confront us everyday. Through this experience we are truly enabled to control ourselves.

Parents, how about your children? Are you letting them experience some sense of freedom in everyday choices? Do you give them a choice of clothing? Are you expanding the limits as they mature?

Teachers, during a planning meeting, discuss the "rules" for your classroom. Do the rules allow boys and girls freedom in making choices? Spend time during each planning meeting evaluating individual preschoolers in how they are maturing in their ability to handle responsibilities. How can you meet the individual needs for freedom in your classroom?

As you profile each child, note the level of freedom he or she can handle when you give him such opportunities.

Guidance

Through the Holy Spirit, God guides us to live in the light and truth (John 16:13). The result of this guidance is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23). Can you imagine what our homes and church families would be like if all of us let God guide us in such a way? Consider how effective we would be as parents and teachers if we freely allowed God to transform us to be Christlike in every aspect of our lives.

With God's guidance we are empowered to guide our preschoolers to know right from wrong and to take responsibility for their behavior. Here are some practical suggestions for meeting the need for guidance.

1. Instead of guiding a child with what not to do, tell him what he can do in a positive way. For example, say, "Please keep your feet on the floor" instead of "Don't sit on the table." A child does, however, need to hear the word don't when he fails to follow instructions. For example, when a child starts to run out to the street, use the word "don't" to stop him.
   
   
2. Instead of using a loud voice to get their attention, use a quiet tone of voice and face-to-face eye contact that expresses confidence. This sense of confidence conveys that you mean what you say which makes compliance easier for most preschoolers.
   
   
3. Instead of using lengthy instructions, get to the point with a few, simple words. For example, say, "It is time to put your toys on the shelf." Sing instructions with a happy voice.
   
   
4. Instead of giving guidance in the form of a question, use a short simple statement. Use questions only when a child has a choice. If you want your child to enter his room at church, say, "It is time to go to Mission Friends." Avoid saying "Do you want to go to Mission Friends?" and ending the statement with "OK?"

These are just a few of many effective ways to guide preschoolers. From your experience, what tips would you add to this list?

As you consider your preschoolers, identify what works best with each child in meeting the need for guidance.

God expressed a sense of accomplishment when He finished His creation (Gen. 1:31). However, God continues to accomplish His will in His creation. Everyday God works through believers in accomplishing His will. Through parents and teachers God furthers His kingdom.

God created human beings with the need to accomplish something in life. This inner drive connects with God's plan as each believer uses his or her gifts to accomplish something for God. In Ephesians 4:11-13, Paul wrote to the Ephesians that God "gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers." The goal is unity and maturity, "attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ" (Eph. 4:13). God is working through parents and teachers to meet the God-given need in preschoolers to feel they are accomplishing something. God wants them to have these early experiences of success so that they will be encouraged to try to attain maturity in faith during the rest of their lives.

Hence, preschoolers need to receive some form of approval or recognition for their successes. When preschoolers build an interesting design with blocks, they need teachers to recognize it by saying, "I saw you really thinking about your design. Thank you, God, for our minds." When preschoolers successfully pour water from a pitcher to a cup without spilling the water, they need to hear "You poured the water into the cup without spilling it!" When two preschoolers successfully work out a problem, they need to hear "The two of you figured out how to use the truck together. Give me five!" These simple comments encourage preschoolers to continue to strive to grow and learn.

A key to meeting this need for accomplishment is to provide activities that preschoolers can experience with success. Perhaps you have had an experience where you became frustrated and wanted to quit or give up. Preschoolers experience these same kinds of feelings when they cannot do an activity. God promises us that He will never give us more than we can handle (1 Cor. 10:13). This promise is wise for us to follow in our relationships with preschoolers. Carefully select activities that can be done by each preschooler with a feeling of success. If you have preschoolers in your group who are at different maturation levels, consider variations of an activity such as having puzzles with different numbers of pieces.

In addition, a feeling of accomplishment is one of the goals for experiencing an activity. Teachers and parents do not need to reward a child's success with a piece of candy or a sticker on a chart. Simple words of praise or recognition and positive touch, such as a pat on the shoulder, help a child recognize how he is feeling. When a child successfully works a puzzle by himself, say, "You did it all by yourself!" With an older preschooler, ask, "How does that make you feel?" By guiding preschoolers to develop an inner motivation to do things, teachers and parents are letting God work in the lives of preschoolers. These early experiences of feeling successful prepare preschoolers for the way God will reward them the rest of their lives.

As you continue to consider each child, note phrases or approaches that work best with each child in recognizing his or her accomplishments.

Parents and teachers, consider how God recognizes your personal accomplishments. You might find an idea from God as to ways to praise preschoolers for their accomplishments.

By meeting these and other needs, parents and teachers are letting God prepare preschoolers for their relationships with Him. God created preschoolers with these needs because He wants people to realize they need Him. In reality all of these needs are also true for parents and teachers. Every person needs love, trust, acceptance, independence, freedom, security, guidance, and a sense of accomplishment. As God works through you to meet the needs of preschoolers, let God also work through you to meet these needs in those with whom you parent and teach everyday as well as in your own life.