Emotional Growth in Children

Emotional growth plays a strong role in children's overall development. Some aspects of emotional growth include: (1) temperament, (2) typology, (3) dispositions, and (4) resilience. Temperament is defined as the inborn part of the personality, while typology refers to the personality types children exhibit. Dispositions are behaviors the child chooses to exhibit, and resilience is a remarkable quality of strength against all odds, which can be enhanced by adults who love and care for children.

Temperament. Temperament, the inborn part of the personality, is present even before birth. Some children are easygoing; others are difficult, and others are slow to warm up. Basic temperaments children have at birth tend to follow them into adulthood.

Easygoing children tend to exhibit positive moods, regular habits, are quick to adapt to new situations, are not demonstrative in showing their emotions, and are not overly sensitive when they are agitated. These children make up about 40 percent of all children, and their temperament type is not a problem. In fact, because these children are not a problem, unintentionally overlooking them is easy. To work well with easygoing children we need to check with them from time to time, to pay attention to what they are doing, and to set aside some special time to spend with them.

What are some things you can do to make sure easy children are not neglected?

Difficult children, on the other hand, can be a real challenge. They make up about 10 percent of the population. Their behavior is often moody, active, eratic, and intense, and they are often highly distractible and sensitive. Some difficult children do not accept changes easily. The key to working with difficult children is to be flexible. If we decide to butt heads with difficult children, they will not back down. Since difficult children are active, it's important to provide high-energy activities as part of our strategy for teaching them. These children need to be prepared for change—what is coming next. Transitions from one activity to the next can become disruptive if they are not carefully planned. When conflicts arise with difficult children, it is best to redirect them and support them into the next activity. The key to working with difficult children is to be flexible.

How can you take a specific lesson and adapt it to make sure difficult children are accommodated?

Slow-to-warm-up children (about 10% of children) are also slow to adapt to new situations. While many children enjoy new, exciting, or novel activities, the slow-to-warm-up child will withdraw in such situations. When working with slow-to-warm-up children, it's best to go slowly and guide them into new situations. If possible, it's best to assign one adult to help them. Slow-to-warm-up children work best when they have one adult from whom to seek help or assistance. One designated adult can help these cautious children by being with them, taking them to the next activity slowly, stepping back, remaining available and then moving on to help others. This is somewhat difficult in church situations when there is often a limited time with children in the first place.

How can you work with slow-to-warm-up children when time is so limited in the first place?

Typology. Typology or personality types can be discussed in a variety of ways. One way considers children's personality types in light of resources related to (1) actions, (2) thought processes, and (3) relationships.

Actions place children on a continuum of reflecting to venturing. Some children are likely to reflect and consider options carefully before springing into action. Others are more likely to jump right in. They venture out often before they have spent hardly any time on reflection. If children always reflect over everything before action, sometimes they need to take a risk and be venturing. Children who are venturers most of the time may at times need to consider before they jump into action.

What are ways you can help reflectors take appropriate risks while encouraging venturers to sometimes consider before they leap?

Thought processes are on a continuum from practical thinking to possibility thinking. Some children are more practical in their thinking, while others are more possibility thinkers. Practical thinkers are drawn to getting things done in a realistic manner. When discussing a Bible story or drawing a map, they want to look at resources, get the facts right, and decide on the best way to get things done. Possibility thinkers are different. They often let their imagination take over and look at what could be or what might be. Children who are practical thinkers need to be occasionally challenged to look at possibilities, while possibility thinkers sometimes need to help follow through in practical ways.

How can you help practical thinkers use their imagination and consider possibilities? How can you help possibility thinkers follow through in practical ways?

Relationships are important resources for children. Some children are naturally more relational, preferring to do everything in a group. Others have a preference for working independently and doing things alone. Teachers need to look at ways to help children sometimes work in groups and sometimes to work alone.

How can you help a child who is more relational to enjoy working alone at times? How can you help a child who is more independent to enjoy group work?

Dispositions. Dispositions are not like temperament or typology. The difference between temperament and dispositions is that dispositions can be encouraged or taught. For example, most children have the disposition to be curious, but not all children have the disposition to be good listeners. We generally think of teaching children both knowledge and skills. However, having knowledge or skills does not necessarily mean that children will use these. For example, a child may have the reading skills necessary to read the Bible and may also have some Bible knowledge through teaching and reading. This does not mean, though, that the child has the disposition to read and learn the Bible. Another example would be witnessing. Children may have the skills and knowledge to witness but not have the disposition to do it.

What dispositions do you want to encourage in church?

The way a skill is learned or knowledge is obtained may actually discourage the disposition. For example, if we push a three-year-old to learn to read, the child may actually develop reading skills, but in the process we may damage the child's interest in reading. Once a disposition is damaged it is difficult to regain it.

Are you teaching anything that might discourage children to use their skills or knowledge?

With elementary children we can strengthen certain desirable dispositions and weaken certain undesirable ones with the right teaching methods. Therefore, when selecting teaching methods, we should consider the dispositions we are teaching.

What dispositions in children do you want to strengthen? What dispositions do you want to weaken?

A salient point with regard to dispositions is feedback. Children need an optimal amount of feedback in order to develop or maintain a disposition. Beyond this, teachers may actually discourage the disposition. A good example is anything children naturally like to do. For instance, some children really enjoy drawing. If we praise children too much for what they like to do, then they will focus more on the praise than the doing.

How can you praise children without overdoing it? What have you noticed that certain children enjoy doing? How can you encourage them without overpraising them?

Perhaps the most important thing to be said about dispositions is that they are most often caught and not taught. Children pick up dispositions from adults who continually and constantly display these dispositions. If we want children to develop the disposition of kindness, we model kindness and encourage children to be kind. For example, Beverly is a fourth-grader with severe cerebral palsy. Her type of cerebral palsy makes it difficult for her to speak clearly or quickly. Her Sunday School teacher always includes Beverly in class discussions, listens carefully when Beverly contributes to the class, responds effectively to Beverly's comments or questions. The teacher makes clear that we will listen to everyone in the room. She does this by modeling and maintaining high expectations.

What dispositions do you want to model for the children with whom you work? Which ones can you do a better job at modeling?

Resilience. Finally related to emotional and personality growth there is resilience. What is resilience? Resilience is the ability to succeed and even thrive against all odds. In today's world many children suffer tragedies and traumas beyond anything we could possibly imagine. Child abuse and neglect, violence in schools, poverty or homelessness are just a few examples of the many which exist. Yet many children do well against all odds. What makes the difference in these children's lives? Several studies have been conducted on resilience to see what makes the difference. Children who are resilient tend to have three things going for them.

First, they are part of a classroom community in which all children are included and expected to participate. Whether the child is of a different ethnic group, color, or socioeconomic status does not matter. All children are included, and this is communicated over and over by the teacher.

In what ways are you making sure all children are included?

A second factor that promotes resilience is high standards of conduct. All children are expected to achieve and respect others' attempts to learn. Teachers who believe that all children are gifts from God and that each and every child can learn promote resilience. A belief in all children seems to make a difference in the child who needs most to be believed in.

How do you show you believe in children—all children?

An adult or teacher who follows and encourages a child over time is the third promoter of resilience. Studies of resilient children who have been abused indicate that a teacher who not only believed in a child but also followed that child over several years made the difference.

In what ways do you take an interest in the lives of former children who have left your department? How are you encouraging children who needed it in your classroom and still need it when they leave?