The Importance of Parent-Child Bonding

Parents have the greatest impact on their children's learning. While most people might agree with this statement for the preschool years, some might wonder how this can continue to be true during the elementary school years. Think about it. Parents determine most of their child’s learning situations. They determine what language or dialect the child speaks, where the child lives, how the child will be educated, and what church or religious institution the child will attend, if any. For this reason, the importance of parent-child bonding is crucial for the child’s learning and well-being.

We used to think of bonding as occurring shortly after birth. In the 1960s and 1970s, many hospital delivery facilities were reorganized to take bonding more seriously. It was believed that the child bonded by close contact with both mother and father during the early hours after birth. Today we know that bonding can occur later, even during the elementary school years. Parents today are adopting children of elementary school age from Russia, Romania, China, and other countries. These children still have many opportunities to bond with their new parents and learn to trust them. This is essential for a child if he or she is to adopt the family’s lifestyle, values, and spiritual ideals.

However, parent-child bonding appears to be more difficult with each generation. A century ago the family was a cohesive unit in which all members worked together for a common goal. Many families lived and worked together on the farm. Then father went off to work, and the closeness of family contact, particularly between father and children, decreased. In the 21st century, close contact continues to diminish as divorce, single-parent homes, and longer working hours separate families from one another. More children each year join elementary after-school care, and children are spending less time at home. This does not necessarily paint a bleak picture. It does mean, though, that parents must work hard to spend more time with their children, teaching them their values and encouraging the children in their God-given uniqueness.

In an article that appeared in the Denver Post on September 26, 1999, David Campbell described how kids’ biggest New Year’s wish could not be granted by schools. Only parents could grant their wish. What was that wish? It was for parents to spend more time with their kids. According to Campbell, most kids would rather read a book with their parents than watch TV. This is no joke. Kids need and want parents to spend much more time with them. Children see this as the solution to the recent episodes of school violence, and they also see it as the key to their learning and development.