In Florida, we used to live in a beautiful home, but felt we needed to be closer to church, friends, and school activities. So we put our home up for sale and purchased one in a nicer area. But there was one drawback. This house was UGLY! Even so, we knew just by how things came about that it was the house for us. It was in a good area that would surely increase in value. (We were always taught to buy the lesser valued home in prime location…and we really did on this one!)

The house was a Spanish style home with huge arches on the front, "wings" on the sides, and "black spider-looking lights" on the outside. When I went inside the house, it had a very traditional appeal. My wife would not even get out of the car until I pleaded with her to come see the traditional floor plan and "see" the vision that I saw of what this house could become. 

With time, effort, and lots of patience, the arches, "wings," and black lights were soon gone and replaced by other things which made it look great. Then we went to work on the inside and, over time, completely remodeled this home.

Isn't this how it often is with marriage? We are consumed with the appearance on the outside rather than working on what is wrong on the inside. To maintain a marriage we must obey God and His Word. Many know Scripture, but that same Scripture is not always applied, so it's not always lived out daily. The Apostle Paul eloquently said it when He used these words: "But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head—Christ" (Ephesians 4:15, Holman Christian Standard Bible). We are given this and numerous others to follow, such as:
• "Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, HCSB).
• "Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not [only] for his own interests, but also for the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4, HCSB).
• "Husbands, love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her" (Ephesians 5:25, HCSB).

We are walking on Satan's minefields each day. He wants to destroy us. He invades our culture, our churches, and our families if we allow him that territory. In order to take back that which is not his to have in the first place, we must:
1. Examine our lives daily.
2. Spend time in His Word.
3. Live it out so that we know the difference and others see the difference.
4. Not allow things at home to get out of hand at any time. And if they do, quickly reign in our hearts, our tongues, and our emotions so that they are Christ-honoring.
5. Seek forgiveness for wrongs immediately.
6. Pray over our family daily so Satan is unable to establish a foothold.
7. Give our children "the blessing of God daily," by telling them how special and awesome they are in God's sight.
8. Love your spouse unconditionally. Let them know they are loved, and show them they are loved.
9. Speak the love language of your spouse daily.
10. Be sure to redeem the time (Ephesians 5:16). Make the most of the time you are given. My wife's favorite phrase these days is, "This isn't the dress rehearsal."

Don't wait for the dress rehearsal to be over. This is real life! Today, start living your life to please God!

God Bless,

J.B. and Shugie 

The Collingsworths travel around the country, coaching churches and couples on how to build strong marriages. Their ministry is based in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex.

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