How to Respond to Conflict in Your Church

Written by Bob Sheffield

Many of the phone calls I receive as a Pastoral Ministry Specialist sound like this, “I have just discovered we are in a conflict in our church, what should I do?”

Church Administration: Creating Efficiency for Effective Ministry

Church Administration: Creating Efficiency for Effective Ministry

Your first responses to a conflict are important and you need to keep in mind the following first steps:

1. Don’t panic
If you do, you will make things worse. Take a deep breath and follow the steps outlined in the rest of this article.

2. Don’t deny that there is a conflict
If you do, you may wait too long to seeking a resolution to the issues involved. The longer a conflict goes unresolved; the more possibilities for long term damage in the church. As the leader in your church, you need to take the lead in redemptively confronting the conflict sooner rather than later.

3. Do pray for guidance
This step comes too late in the process for many conflict situations. Start with a prayer for God’s wisdom, insight, and guidance. Lead your leadership to pray the same way. You will do better to save the talking until God guides you because you have an openness to Him.

4. Do apply Holy Scripture
The Bible contains numerous stories of conflict and conflict resolution. It also contains key principles to guide us as we seek a "grace-based" answer to differences. I would encourage you to let the Bible inform your reason.

Scriptures:  Examples of Conflict in the Bible:
  • Matthew 5-7
  • Matthew 18:15-35
  • John 13:34-35
  • Romans 12:9-21
  • 1 Corinthians 13
  • Galatians 5:13-26
  • Ephesians 4:17-32
  • Philippians 2:1-18
  • Colossians 3
  • James 4:1-12
  • 1 John 3:16-5:5

  Old Testament

  1. Contention in a family: Cain and Able
  2. Focus on self: Jacob and Esau
  3. The power of desire: David and Uriah
  4. The seduction of power: Saul and David

  New Testament

  1. Self-interests vs. servanthood among the disciples: Mark 10:35-45
  2. Religious traditionalism versus Christ: John 8: 1-11
  3. Diversity in membership-prejudice: Acts 6:1-7
  4. Dispute in Antioch over circumcision: Acts 15
  5. Divisions in the church: 1 Cor. 1:10-17
  6. Personal and spiritual immaturity: 1 Cor. 3: 1-16 

5. Do manage the conflict properly
Not all conflict is the same so do not approach all conflict the same way. A difference over whether to spend $50.00 and one over whether to spend $500.00 contain different dynamics.

The following are simple questions to ask regarding the conflict:

6. Do act like a Christian
Let your Christian values always drive your motives, words, and actions as regards conflict. Some of the most un-christian things I have ever heard said were said during heated exchanges in business meetings.

7. Do trust God
Often people in conflict overlook this point. Once we have prayed, discovered God’s guidance through the Bible, and sought to follow a reasonable path to conflict resolution, we need to patiently let God lead us through the process.

Help is available:

© 2001-2008
LifeWay Christian Resources
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Reader Comments:

Excellent advice! The application of scripture is of paramount importance in conflict management. Conflict with one another in the church is actually conflict with God's Word. Repentance is required along with forgiveness and obedience to God's Word. Don't try to solve conflicts in human wisdom. Today, there are more behavioral "specialists" with humanistic ideas in our pulpits than ever before.Pastor F. K. McKenzie, Lakeland FL
By: kmckenz On: 5/15/2008 10:38:00 AM  
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