Unequally Yoked

Written by Dr. Henry Cloud

This article is courtesy Christian Single magazine.

Q: My brother is dating a Unitarian and says he wants to join her church. I’m glad he’s dating someone religious, but is she Christian? Is this a good relationship or an unequally yoked one?

A: It would only be unequally yoked if he were a believer and she were not. Do you know if he has a relationship with Jesus? Does she? Even if they do, they may not have had much training about doctrine and are unaware of how doctrinally unsound the Unitarian Church is.

Understanding Sectarian Groups in America

Often Christians judge others by the church they attend or the form of the faith they practice. Remember, God looks on the inside first. So make sure you do that as well and find out where they are on the inside. Introduce them to a relationship with Jesus or invite them to your church where they can hear about how to have that relationship and what it means to be a Christian.

To find out what kind of a relationship your brother and his girlfriend have, spend time with them. Be a good friend: Love him, be there for him and give him honest input. If he doesn’t know the importance of being equally yoked, then explain it to him in a factual and compassionate way; don’t spout legalism. Being equally yoked is of life-altering importance; it can keep you from spending the rest of your days with a spouse whose heart’s values are at odds with your own. Mixed-faith marriages have downsides that last a lifetime.

Editor’s note: Unitarians are not Christian. The following information comes from their Web site at uua.org: “Unitarian Universalists are not Christian, if by Christian you mean those who think that acceptance of any creedal belief whatsoever is necessary for salvation. Unitarian Universalist Christians are considered heretics by those orthodox Christians who claim none but Christians are ‘saved.’”

The Unitarian Universalist Association was born in 1961 when the Unitarians, who reject the Christian doctrine of the trinity, merged with the Universalists, who believe God saves all people, no matter what they believe or do. Essentially, it’s a faith of self-help that draws “truth” from a smorgasbord of sources: “Instead of salvation you will hear of our yearning for, and our experience of, personal growth, increased wisdom, strength of character and gifts of insight, understanding, inner and outer peace, courage, patience and compassion. ... [We] draw [our] personal faith from many sources: nature, intuition, other cultures, science, civil liberation movements, etc.”

Not all Unitarians believe in God, and others believe in a “reverence for life, the spirit of love or truth, the holy or the gracious” as being a fair description of something godlike. Also, Unitarians “generally agree that the fruits of religious belief matter more than beliefs about religion — even about God. So [they] usually speak more of the fruits: gratitude for blessings, worthy aspirations, the renewal of hope and service on behalf of justice.” They believe Jesus was a prophet like Moses or Buddha, while the Bible isn’t “the exclusive source of truth [since] much biblical material is mythical or legendary.”

In their own words, “Unitarian Universalists aspire to truth as wide as the world — [they] look to find truth anywhere, universally.”