Parents Can Help Curb Teenage Smoking

Written by Tony Rankin

This article is courtesy of Living with Teenagers magazine.

Teenagers are still smoking by the millions regardless of repeated warnings from their parents and the surgeon general’s office. By age 18, more than 35 percent of teenagers nationwide will be regular smokers. The United Tennessee League indicates that in recent years there has been a slight decrease in smoking by boys and steady increase among girls. Once a girl begins to smoke, she is less likely than a male to give it up. 

In spite of the ongoing warnings and the obvious statistics that smoking effects a person’s health, teenage smoking continues to be a problem that irritates parents. When school-based education programs and national ad campaigns don’t seem to make a difference in your teen’s life, remember you are the very person who could bring about change. Consider these suggestions in assisting your teenager to be “smoke free.”

Set Clear and Enforceable Boundaries

Setting the consequences in advance will be valuable in this learning process. This will help you avoid hearing, “You’re mean. I never knew that my punishment would be that bad. I wish you would have told me.” Using logical consequences of “You smoke-you lose . . .” (going to the mall, free time after school, going out after the ball game, etc.) will eventually catch their attention. Remain consistent with consequences even if your teen says that his consequence doesn’t bother him.

Natural consequences may also make a difference. Natural consequences include bad breath, stained teeth, smoky clothes, and yellowing fingers. There is a strong possibility that eventually one of his friends will make a comment or snide remark.

Over-grounding may not effect the inappropriate behavior of smoking. In fact, it may become counter-productive and encourage a continuation of the habit through a passive-aggressive response. Remember that what you want is changed behavior. Do the minimum amount of grounding or consequences that will result in changed behavior.

Consider Having Your Teenager Pay the Premium

Many insurance companies charge a higher rate for families with a smoking member. Anonymously call the insurance company for a quote on the increase in costs and allow your teen to know how much it will cost him to smoke. If the teenager continues to smoke, charge him a weekly premium until the smoking ceases. Make it known that if you ever have to answer the question, “Does any one in your family smoke?” that you will have to be honest and there will be a price to pay by the teenager.

Deal with the Issues of Concern and Control

The most frequently voiced complaint by teenagers in the counselor’s office about how their parents react to their smoking is “They just want to control everything I do. They don’t really care about me. They just want to be the boss!” As you attempt to help your teen make good choices, make it clear that you are concerned about her happiness and health. Use phrases like “To show you how much I care about you I want to . . .,” “The things I like about you are . . .,” “The reasons I am concerned about you are . . .,” and “I can’t control you like I did when you were three and that’s hard for me to remember sometimes.”
Control is what most parents do when they feel like they’ve done an inadequate job of training their teen in decision-making skills or fear their teen’s inability to control themselves. Admit your fears, refuse to punish yourself for your teen’s choices, and let her endure the consequences of her behavior.

Understand How to Handle Habits

While it is important that everyone understand the risks of cigarette smoking (because avoiding addiction is easier than getting rid of it), it is important not to overact to casual social experimentation. A cigarette behind the bleachers is likely to result in turning your teenager green rather than forming a new addiction. The easiest way to understand why smoking is habitual and addictive is to discover what it means to the teenager. It is pleasurable, usually sociable, gives a “rush” or “buzz,” and may increase due to the adverse withdrawal symptoms. If your teenager is smoking, help him recognize that quitting “cold” will work better than tapering off. If he should fail, don’t feel all is lost. Breaking habits usually takes several tries.

Set an Example One of the best ways to ensure that your teenager will avoid nasty habits like smoking is to free yourself of the same habit or similar ones. Teenagers struggle with “Because I said so” when they sense a double standard. Your habit may not be smoking, but it may be consuming alcohol, overeating, gambling, working too much, or nail biting. Give it up!

Nobody really understands why teenagers turn to smoking. Some develop it because of the teen subculture, others do not. It seems that the happier the teen is, the less likely she is to begin smoking. Minimizing and eliminating anxiety, stress, and academic pressures could be extremely helpful.