Ministers' Wives: Sharing the Journey

Written by Becky Badry

Being a Minister's Wife-- And Being Yourself

While it's difficult to make sweeping generalities about all ministers' wives, there are some basic universal needs (see Who Is the Minister's Wife? ) that can be met as these ladies link together in communities, bound by a common role and a common journey. We can look to Hebrews 10:24 as a basis for a community of ministers' wives: "And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works (HCSB® )."

What Can Networking Do for Ministers' Wives?

Due to the necessity of protecting her husband, a minister's wife may not have the freedom to develop intimate friendships with other women. This is a need that can be met as ministers’ wives join together for encouragement and support in a loving, listening, safe environment.

Here are some needs that can be met through organizing a group of ministers' wives within your church and even within your local community.

A ministers' wives community can provide ...

• Encouragement to keep priorities straight. Women are people-pleasers by nature. Imagine what a challenge it is to try to please the whole church. Keeping God first, family second, and ministry third are challenges that are common to these women.
• Mentoring relationships, friendships, and role models. Based upon several surveys of ministers’ wives, a leading concern is loneliness. How can you be involved in a congregation of people and feel alone? It's easier than you think. I experienced it as I entered into marriage at the age of 19. Suddenly I had gone from a 19-year-old youth to being a minister’s wife! It was a whole different playing field in many ways--including socially. Granted, I was pretty unprepared for the change and the role. It wasn't like anyone presented me with a "minister's wife manual" as a wedding gift. However, I sought out other wives to relate to, observed their lives, and allowed them to become my role models and mentors.
• Training and preparation for ministry. Peer support groups can provide opportunities to hear from those with expertise in counseling, witnessing, time management and other areas of life.
• A listening, loving, safe environment. As minister’s wives gather, they like to tell their stories. The safe environment of a peer support group allows for ministers' wives to receive affirmation when moving toward Christ-likeness, but also allows for feedback from different perspectives. Prayer support becomes critical for these wives.
• Fun! With all the demands placed upon the ministry family and especially the minister's wife herself, this is one crucial area that is usually lacking. Plan for fun with other women on the same journey.

First Steps to Beginning a Ministers' Wives Community

If you feel God's leading in this area, here are a few practical steps you can take to begin helping ministers' wives in your church and community to network.

• Send out a questionnaire in your association/area to discover who would be interested in starting a ministers' wives peer support group.
• Schedule a special event (luncheon, tea, retreat, and so forth) to introduce these ladies to one another and talk about what God might have planned for this group.
• If possible, decide on the time and place for the first regular meeting at the special event.
• Develop a commitment sheet or card to be signed at the event. Encourage each woman to make attendance to group meetings and confidentiality a high priority.

With divine direction, good planning, and openness to the ministers' wives in your community, you can build a support network that will indeed strengthen and encourage not only ministers' wives, but also their husbands and the larger church communities they serve. In the next article, we'll take a more in-depth look at a popular aspect of this particular ministry: peer support groups.