An Outline for Beginning an Ongoing Grief Ministry

Written by Betty Hassler

Our culture does not model healthy grieving. The church must lead the way, yet too often grief ministries are situation-to-situation rather than planned in advance in a comprehensive way so that all parties involved know their roles. By following this intentional outline, you can create for your senior adult ministry - and your church ministry at large - an ongoing grief ministry to avoid overlap and prevent gaps in services to those who experience loss.

Picking Up the Pieces Series: Redeeming the Tears

Determine whom you wish to reach with grief ministry.

• Members of your church, especially those with a limited support system.
• The unchurched and unsaved related to your church family.
• Determine the components of your grief ministry

The following groups should be involved in planning a comprehensive on-going grief ministry. If you have a Senior Adult Council, ask them to convene the meetings.

1. Sunday School
2. Pastoral ministries (pastor, staff, church office)
3. Senior Adult organization (Senior Adult Council, club, and/or choir)
4. Berevement committee
5. Deacons

Carefully plan each element of your grief ministry.

Answer these sample questions as you plan:

1. Immediately after the death:

• Who represents the church at the home? Does everyone involved show up at the door?
• Who will help with details such as house cleaning, yard work, phone calls, spending the night, transporation from the airport, and other needs?
• Who brings food to the home?

2. On the day of the funeral:

• Will someone "house sit" during the funeral?
• Who provides a meal for the family?
• Who takes care of transportation needs?
• Who answers the phone?

3. Immediately after the funeral:

• What homemaking or yard services are needed temporarily?
• If help is needed with business, tax, or financial matters, who will provide it?
• Who will help with thank you cards?

4. On holidays and anniversaries:

• Who will call or send a card?
• Who will offer to take the person out to eat?
• Who will include the person in their holiday plans?

5. Support groups and widow/widower groups:

• Will your church offer a support group ministry for the grieving?
• If not, what types of support will your church offer (books, pamphlets, tapes)?
• After persons have completed a grief support group, will there be an ongoing, monthly gathering for those who have lost loved ones? Will it be program or activity based? Informal? Co-ed?

6. Mentoring: Will your church train individuals who have experienced loss in a healthy way to mentor others one-to-one?

7. Counseling:

• Does your church have a counseling ministry for those who need more help than a support group can provide?
• Does your church have a referral list of Christian counselors in your area?

8. Homemaker/business & financial assistance: Will you provide on-going assistance to the frail elderly?

Follow these steps to effective grief ministry:

1. Spend time in prayer with others who have a heart for ministering to the grieving. Ask God to show you where He is already at work.
2. Share your vision with your pastor, other staff members, church leaders, and Senior Adult Council. Ask them to pray with you for direction.
3. Develop a purpose statement. What do you hope to accomplish through this ministry? Your purpose must support the purpose of your church.
4. Assess needs within your congregation and the community as a whole. Discover needs by talking with your church staff, Sunday School leadership, other program leaders, area health and mental health professionals, and government agency representatives.
5. Secure church approval for this ministry. While the process is completed, continue your preparation as you explore ways to meet identified needs.
6. Set priorities and begin small. Offer one grief support group, and do it well.
7. Determine an organization that fits your ministry. Do you need a coordinator? Is a coordinator already in place (staff person, council member)?
8. Train volunteers.
9. Publicize your ministry. Give names of contact persons.
10. Evaluate the ministry.