Support Groups Help the Hurting Navigate Barriers to Christian Growth

Written by Betty Hassler

Christian discipleship is a growth process. Yet for many, one or more incapacitating life issues seem to barricade the path to spiritual growth. Your church can help people deal with these barriers in their lives by establishing a support group ministry.

A Trusted Friend: When It Matters Most

This unique ministry can begin in any size church in any community. It is inexpensive, a wise investment of resources, lay-lead, and pays many dividends. A support group is as simple as three to ten persons with a common life need meeting together to share, encourage, and affirm each other in their journey.

Some believe support groups are only for troubled (perhaps even dysfunctional) people. In reality, support groups are for anyone who

• Experiences the death of a loved one;
• Divorces or is related to someone who divorces;
• Becomes a part of a blended (stepfamily) home;
• Cares about someone with an addiction;
• Has self-esteem issues (feelings of unworthiness, loss of meaning or purpose);
• Grows up in an alcoholic family; or
• Discovers they are trying to control, fix, rescue, or take care of others.

Others believe that people struggling with such life issues are not part of the church family. In 1992, a report from the Fuller Institute concluded that 60 to 70 percent of the people coming to church were dealing with some form of incapacitating dysfunction.

A support group is comprised of caring people in similar life situations who want to experience healing inwardly and in relationship to others. Participants do not come to get answers or solve problems. They come to share feelings and experience acceptance. The agenda is to help each other by verbalizing the thoughts that have been bottled up inside. As members share with each other, they realize others have similar feelings and similar needs. They reach out to each other and together profit from shared experiences. "I see myself in you," is a common expression in a support group.

Benefits of Support Groups

Support groups not only help individuals and families learn new coping skills and recover from disabling addictions or behaviors, they also help the church. Support groups demonstrate to a watching world that the church cares and that Christ makes a difference in people’s lives. Isaiah 61 portrays Jesus as one who binds up the brokenhearted, proclaims freedom for captives, releases prisoners from darkness, and comforts those who mourn and grieve. Support groups exemplify these same characteristics.

Support groups meet around a variety of life needs. Groups can focus on

• Life-stage issues, such as parents of teenagers, parents of preschoolers, caregivers for the elderly, and empty nest.
• Grief issues, such as chronic or terminal illnesses, grief support, divorce recovery, parents who have lost children, mothers who have miscarried, and post-abortion syndrome.
• Emotional and relational issues such as codependency, healing from a painful past, sexual abuse, and building self-esteem.

Groups that deal with addictive behavior require a well-trained and knowledgeable leader, one who has been through a 12-step group and has experienced the addictive behavior first-hand.

The Role of Support Group Facilitator

Support groups are led by a facilitator. The facilitator is not a teacher but rather functions as a member of the group. The facilitator makes the room arrangements, keeps up with the participants weekly, secures workbooks, and leads the group through the sessions.

Usually, the facilitator has personal experience with the group’s focus issue and shares from his or her own experience. However, more important than personal experience is a facilitator’s attitude of compassion, understanding, and openness. He or she must be comfortable with his or her own emotions and the emotions of others. A facilitator with a mature faith, well-grounded in biblical principles, who strives to be Christ-like in attitudes and actions will help participants grow in their Christian lives as they confront the issues that bring them to the group.

When approaching potential facilitators, ask them to pray about leading a group. Assure them that you will provide a resource with step-by-step instructions for leading the group. Let them know that they are not the "expert," but rather one who sits as a part of the group to experience healing and hope for the future.

Beginning a Support Group Ministry

Support groups usually begin in one of three ways:

• A person with a need comes to your attention. You realize there are others you can name with a similar need.
• You see a need in your church or community that no one else seems to be addressing. You ask God to bring people to your attention who need this ministry.
• Someone comes to you with a desire to lead a group.

Pastors and church staff members often know of persons who could benefit from a support group ministry. Surveys can be taken in Sunday School or in Discipleship classes to invite persons to express interest in a group. Make sure that responses are held in the highest confidence. In addition to these sources, professionals in your community are likely to know persons who need the help of a support group. Word-of-mouth and advertising in local newspapers should produce other inquiries.

Plan to begin small with one or two groups. The success of a group will build momentum for other groups. In a planning meeting for each new group, answer these questions:

1. Who comprises the target audience? Will the group be co-ed or single sex? Churched and unchurched?
2. How many will be in the group? Generally groups are five to ten participants.
3. Will the groups be open or closed? Closed groups do not allow new members after the second or third meeting.
4. How many weeks will the group meet? Most resources are built around a 6-week, 8-week, or 12-week model.
5. When will the group meet? Choose a day and hour most convenient to participants.
6. Where will the group meet? Usually a comfortable room in the church works best.
7. Will childcare be provided? Meet at times when childcare is available at the church, if needed.

Betty Hassler is an editor-in-chief for LifeWay Church Resources' Adult Ministry Publishing.