Ministry to Someone Who Is Dying

Written by Richard E. Dodge

One of humanity’s greatest fears is dying. Terminally ill people and their families present a major challenge for most people because emotions may discourage people from ministering to these folk. Yet few experiences provide greater ministry opportunities.

A Passage through Grief

People experience needs in at least five major areas: physical, mental, spiritual, social and emotional needs. Whether directed to the patient or relatives or friends, all people face these same needs. Therefore ministry to the terminally ill includes ministry to a broader group of people at the same time. Knowing what to say and do - and what NOT to say and do - at times of terminal illness are essential for adults and their leaders who want to provide help, comfort and encouragement.

One essential for ministry is to determine whether the person is more fearful of death or the process of dying. That may seem like the same thing, but in truth there is a significant difference. For most Christians, the uncertainty of death already has been settled. We know there is life after death in Christ, and that death is merely the door through which we pass to eternity. Thus the first ministry need is to help settle spiritual questions and needs.

Beyond spiritual needs, physical needs may be the most pressing. Depending on the circumstances - long-term illness, sudden illness, traffic accident, and so forth - many needs may have been provided for and addressed. If not, deacons, class members and others who want to help the person and family may need to sit down with family to list needs and develop a strategy for meeting them. After these needs are met, the real ministry may just be starting.

Emotional and social needs have a greater impact on us than we may recognize. God created us as social beings, but our fear of death may cause us to avoid someone who is dying. We may fear not knowing what to say or do. We may have deep-seated emotional scars from watching a loved one walk the paths of dying and can’t face the memories. But whatever our fears, they should not prevent us from some kind of involvement, even if the involvement is nothing more than a phone call to a dying person’s spouse or child.

Here are some important Dos and Don’ts for ministering to persons facing death. Discuss these with your class leaders and learners to help plan ways to minister to persons facing death.

Dos

• Respect the privacy of individuals.
• Ask the person if he or she would like to pray with you.
• Continue to minister in any way possible.
• Remember that family members also need ministry.
• Let family members and the patient know they can call on you whenever they feel the need.
• Allow the person to express innermost feelings without being judgmental. Many emotions might be expressed at this time.
• Before leaving after a visit, ask whether you can do anything for the person.
• Assure the patient of your continued interest and prayers.

Don’ts

• Don’t insist on seeing a person who has requested no visitors.
• Don’t open your Bible to share Scriptures just after arriving. Spend time visiting with the person first.
• Don’t feel immediate prayer is what the person needs. Gain the person’s confidence and then ask if the individual would like to pray with you.
• Don’t voice your personal opinions.
• Don’t disclose to others confidential or personal thoughts expressed to you.
• Don’t create a funeral-like atmosphere.