Biting: How Do You Handle It at Church?

Teaching Preschoolers: First Steps Toward Faith - Leader Training Guide

Biting is a normal reaction for children who do not have the words to adequately express their frustration, and it is common for one and two-year-olds. Biting is one example of a situation that needs involvement from parents.

Some reasons for biting are teething, the feeling of helplessness from older siblings, or just frustration.

Tips for Dealing with a Biting Child

• In a calm but firm voice, say: "You may not bite Andrew. Biting hurts." Acknowledge the child's feelings. Comment: "You must have been very upset to hurt Meagan. Tell me why you were angry."
• Never bite the child or tell a child who was bitten to bite back. As a teacher, you're a role model; don't model an act of violence.
• Inform the parents of both children in a private and confidential way. Tell the parents of the injured child how you treated the bite. Avoid telling them who did the biting. This knowledge can create harsh feelings. You don't want the situation to deteriorate into a squabble between parents. Explain that this behavior is normal and that occasionally all children react in physical ways. Some push, some hit and others bite. Tell them what you are doing to avoid the situation in the future.
• Give a younger child a teether to use when he is frustrated.
• Help the older child begin to use phrases with other children who are causing the frustration, such as, "You are in my space."
• Enlist an extra teacher to "shadow" the child and redirect him until he works through this biting phase.

Develop a Plan for the Future

• Evaluate the room and the teaching plan. Do you have activities that are suitable for the children during the session? Do you have more than one of favorite items?
• Evaluate the child-teacher ratio. Are there too many children in the room? Do the children feel safe?

You also have the authority to limit what type of play occurs in the room. Play that imitates violence should not be tolerated at church. If the child is using the triangle block as a gun, for instance, simply state: "We don't play or pretend that anything hurts or hits. You may choose to play something else, or you may put the block away."

Recognize that discipline matters are not a distraction from teaching biblical truths. In fact, they provide one of your greatest opportunities to apply biblical truths to a child's life in a positive way. The self-discipline a child begins to develop in your preschool class can influence every area of his life as he continues to grow physically and spiritually. Ask God for wisdom and insight as you accept this responsibility-and this privilege-each week.

This article was adapted from "Setting the Tone: Guiding Behavior" in Teaching Preschoolers: First Steps Toward Faith.