Beyond Forgiveness

Written by Lettie Kirkpatrick

This article is courtesy of Mature Living.

The family of Pat Dorsey Sykes has been witness to an incredible story of forgiveness and closure. It is a story of two men, enemies in World War II, who found healing and even friendship years after a tragedy caused by one and experienced by the other. It is also the story of one uncommon man's journey beyond forgiveness to mercy and acceptance — and of his own journey home.

The story began July 10, 1943, in the waters of the Mediterranean Sea off Gela, Sicily. Twenty-one-year-old Pat Sykes was serving his first assignment on Navy destroyer USS Maddox DD622.

The Maddox 622, on anti-submarine patrol, was attacked in the predawn darkness by a German Luftwaffe JU-88 bomber. Four 250-pound bombs were dropped. While two bombs exploded in the water, the others hit the fantail, detonating an ammunition magazine.

The Maddox 622 earned the distinction of being the fastest-sinking U.S. warship in World War II. The time between bomb impact and the disappearance of the bow below the surface was 90 seconds. Two hundred and ten men died when the warship sank. Pat Sykes was among the 68 survivors.

Sykes completed his Navy duty on two other ships and returned home in l945 to marry Rebecca McDaniel, his next-door neighbor from Badin, N.C. He mentioned the Maddox incident only one time while on leave following the disaster. After the war, he completed college at North Carolina State and eventually became a safety engineer for Duke Power in Charlotte, N.C.

Pat and Rebecca had a son, Pat Jr., and three daughters, Debby, Penny, and Cathy. Sykes later retired to Thomasville, N.C., where the couple celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in l995.

Rebecca Sykes described her husband as "talkative, loving, affectionate, and caring a lot about family." Pat enjoyed sports and liked history; he was also involved in his church and community. His church activities included teaching boys in Sunday School, leading Royal Ambassadors, and serving on the deacon board. He was a scout leader and volunteered in the Civitan and Lions Clubs. An avid gardener, he usually "planted enough for the whole town."

Pat Sykes was a good man who lived a good life. But in l994, 51 years after the bombing of Maddox 622, he became a man with a mission. While reading the Duke Power magazine, he spotted an article written by a Navy veteran that referred to reunions held by crew members from various ships. Sykes obtained information, and in June l994, he attended his first Maddox Association reunion. 

Sykes learned that a 50th anniversary ceremony had been held in l993, honoring the survivors of the Maddox 622 sinking, sponsored by National Life Insurance of Vermont in Montpelier, Vermont. National Life had lost only one employee in wartime since the Civil War. Ensign A. Robert Crathorne Jr. was a Maddox 622 casualty. Brian Lindner, a military historian and employee of the insurance company, was instrumental in organizing the ceremony.

Lindner was invited to attend future Maddox reunions. Speaking to the survivors of Maddox 622 at the 1994 reunion attended by Sykes, he asked, "Would you be interested in meeting the German crew that sank your ship?" Their reaction was an immediate and unanimous yes. With the aid of a German military historian, Lindner undertook the daunting task of searching out the German crew members.

In December l994, the Maddox 622 survivors received the announcement that sparked an idea and led Sykes to his passionate pursuit. Amazingly, the pilot and gunner from the German bomber had been located and contacted.

Four men were on the plane that bombed the Maddox 622. Two were deceased, but the gunner remained in Germany, and interestingly, was occasionally visited by the pilot who now lived in the U.S. Suddenly, Sykes had an intense desire to meet this pilot.

With the help of a translator from Thomasville, N.C., Sykes wrote to the gunner in Germany. His desire to meet the pilot was finally fulfilled when he and Rebecca traveled to the pilot's home state and the pilot agreed to a visit with Sykes.

In November l997, the German pilot and the Maddox 622 survivor met to discuss the war and their memories. They exchanged pictures and formed an unusual friendship. Sykes invited the German pilot to attend the l998 reunion of the Maddox 622 survivors. The German gunner was also invited, but medical problems kept him from making the trip.

In March l998, the pilot called Sykes and agreed to attend the reunion. He stipulated that there was to be no publicity.

Sykes drew his entire family into the reunion plans. He oversaw the details for the gathering to be held May 1998 in Thomasville. Eleven survivors of the Maddox 622 and their families attended the reunion, as well as Brian Lindner and one tugboat occupant who had helped recover the 68 survivors. The German pilot joined these men for two days of fellowship and recollections.

This group welcomed their former enemy and heard from him as a man who served his country just as they had served the U.S. Accompanied by his entire family, Sykes realized the completion of his unusual mission, but he wanted to carry this strange pursuit a step further.

What Sykes did not know was that the slight illness he was experiencing at this triumphant May reunion was much more serious. The following month he was diagnosed with liver cancer. Although facing chemotherapy and advised by his doctor not to travel, Sykes was determined to complete his quest for closure of the Maddox incident.

At the Maddox Association reunion held July 9 - 12 in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minn., Sykes nominated the German pilot for consideration as a member of the Maddox Association. The motion passed with only slight opposition.

Sykes immediately left the reunion meeting and returned to his motel room. He called his German friend with the news. "I just want to let you know we voted you in this morning," Sykes told him. "You are one of us now."

Drained and weakened but with his mission truly complete, Sykes headed home. He died several days later on July 15 without ever beginning treatment. But he left behind an extraordinary legacy. This uncommon man gave to his German friend, his family, his fellow crew members, and those of us who hear his story, the assurance that it is truly possible to extend extraordinary grace and to move beyond forgiveness.

Lettie Kirkpatrick Burress is a freelance writer and speaker to women's ministries in Cleveland, Tenn. She also teaches writing. Her hobby is hiking.

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