When Her Favorite Word is Daddy

Written by Jared C. Wilson

This article is courtesy of ParentLife magazine.

The greatest hope I have for my little girl is that someday she will come to know Jesus as Savior and serve Him as Lord.

Unfortunately, I cannot guarantee my daughter’s salvation. I can pray, trust God, and present myself as a daily role model. My daughter looks to my wife and me as revealers of life’s mysteries. She has not yet been influenced by the aggressive sinfulness of our culture. No wonder Christ said, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). Knowing only innocence and trust, children are most ripe for experiencing the unconditional love of God through you.

Like every Christian father determined to keep his precious little girl safe, I keep a wary eye on questionable cultural trends. Can I steer her away from today’s trend toward immodesty? How can I raise her to be strong and independent but not self-centered and rebellious? How can I teach her to please God above all others?

Fathers are in a unique position to face such challenges. Family Research Council President Gary Bauer offers, “Without a recommitment of fathers to the home, the cultural war over family and children will be won by those who believe that all lifestyles are equal.”1

The relationship between father and daughter is so important, particularly as it relates to God’s relationship with His children. I remember fearing the awesome responsibility of caring for an infant girl like it was yesterday. My calloused hand on the back of her soft head symbolized the divide between my gruff cynicism and her pure childlikeness. The difference has not changed. She is a toddler now, and every day I work hard to father her as a little girl should be fathered. Here are ways I have found to nurture the spiritual life of my daughter:

Create the Environment

Encourage your daughter’s receptivity to the gospel by creating an environment that fosters daily awareness and learning of biblical truths. Part of my role as the spiritual leader of our home is to ensure our home is conducive to the discipleship of its “tenants.” There are some easy and practical ways to do this, even for infants. Play classical music and soothing Christian lullabies. Read to your daughter from the Bible regularly. Make churchgoing routine.

Most Christian parents do these things already. But the primary reason we do them is to introduce, even before our daughter can speak a word, a vocabulary of the faith. We want her to be familiar with the words “God” and “Jesus” before she even knows what they mean. C.S. Lewis believed the stories he read as a child “baptized his imagination,”2 contributing later to his salvation as an adult. Similarly, immersing your daughter in the vocabulary of the faith plants seeds for later harvest.

Creating this environment continues through adolescence into young adulthood. Are you conscious of what books you are reading, what music you are listening to, and what television shows you are watching in your daughter’s presence? The message they send could be contrary to the efforts you want to make on behalf of your daughter’s eternal destiny.

Be a Disciple

Fathers cannot afford to hide their walk with Christ, least of all in the home. Our daughters must see us praying, studying the Word, and loving our neighbor.

This is not done merely for their benefit, however. Once entering the distinguished role of fatherhood, we need it ourselves more than ever. When I held my baby girl for the first time, my preconceived ideas about manhood and masculinity crumbled. I concern myself now with provision, not luxury. I value tenderness and avoid the tendency to hide emotions. These transitions do not happen overnight. There were virtues I needed that previously I somehow managed without — patience, gentleness, self-control. I parent without these at my daughter’s own risk. I find that as I care for her, attempting to mold her into the model of biblical womanhood, I am being molded myself. Through my experience, God chips away at me, carving me into a better model of biblical manhood.

In Raising Kids Who Hunger for God, Benny Phillips shares, “As fathers, we must refuse ... evaluating our success in life by how well we ‘perform.’ ... We must measure our success in this life by ... our spiritual maturity, the depth of godly character in our lives, and our competence as husbands and fathers.”3

As it pertains to fatherhood, the primary reason you must grow spiritually is because you cannot impart wisdom you have not earned, and you cannot teach lessons you have not learned.

Set the Standard 

As your daughter’s primary male role model, you are the template for all of her future relationships with men. You set the bar, so set it high. The chief way this standard is accomplished is through your relationship with your wife. Treat your spouse with respect and honor, and your daughter will come to expect the same for herself. Commit to meeting your daughter’s need for affection.

You affect your daughter’s view of God, as well. How she sees her earthly father influences how she sees her heavenly Father. Everything you do impacts your daughter’s spiritual future. Chris Erdman writes of fatherhood: “There’s no escaping the fact that the commitment of future generations to discipleship is contingent upon our ability to point to living examples.”4 Be your daughter’s best example. Despite my imperfect efforts, I am enjoying my role as father. It is of great comfort to me when my little girl shouts “Dada!” with glee. “Dada” is her favorite word. She chants it happily and even makes up little songs about me. But the joy this brings me will not match the joy I will know if I can lead her to approach Christ with the same zeal. I want to hear her cry “Abba” because of the Daddy she has known in me.

1. James Dobson and Gary L. Bauer, Children at Risk (Dallas: Word, 1990): 186.

2. C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy (San Diego: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1984): 181.

3. Benny and Sheree Phillips, Raising Kids Who Hunger for God (Grand Rapids: Revell, 2001).

4. Chris William Erdman, Beyond Chaos: Living the Christian Family in a World Like Ours (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1996): 145.

Jared C. Wilson is a licensed minister, freelance writer, and stay-at-home dad. He lives in Fairview, Tennessee, with his wife and daughter.

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