M.O.M and P.O.P.: A Process of Discipleship
During my first 10 years of youth ministry, I was frustrated. I could get a crowd to come to a lock-in or Six Flags, but I knew God had called me to do more than just get youth together. He called me to make disciples who make disciples, and that wasn't happening, no matter what discipleship programs I tried.
While I was trying to seek the next program from God, He laid an incredible truth on my heart: Discipleship isn't a program-it's a process. The materials I was using were great, but I didn't know about the discipleship process. The materials had to be incorporated into the process.
Jesus never intended discipleship to be a program but a continual process. What does that process need to include? Think about these four things:
The Criteria for the Process
Knowledge and skills: For many of us, knowledge has been the focus of our spiritual lives. We have retreats, camps and discipleship weekends. We must also balance that knowledge with skills. When I was growing up, we had church training. Each Sunday night, I was given part of the lesson I had to teach the following week. The next Sunday I would stand in front of my class, with knees trembling and teach my section. I hated it at the time, but I learned from it. I developed skills of public speaking and sharing the things of God.
We must provide opportunities for our students to develop such skills.
A rite of passage for students: Students must move into taking ownership of their own discipleship and ministry. They must begin to close down their childhood and take on adult responsibility and consequences. Most of our students have the same responsibilities their senior year as they did their freshman year. They are still participants, and we have adult leaders who take care of responsibility of the ministry, allowing it to rise and fall upon their shoulders.
A significant task for students: Everyone is born with the desire to have a significant task. A significant task is described as "if you don't do it, others will suffer." Most discipleship programs, sadly, do not give a person a sense of significance.
Role Modeling Based on the Five Levels of Jesus' Ministry
Level One: Relationship with God. Jesus' number one priority was the relationship between Himself and His Father. He did nothing on His own, and neither can we. Students must learn they are totally dependent on Jesus (John 5:19-20, 15:5). The process must guide them into a living, loving relationship with Jesus where He is their passion.
Level Two: Skills for one-on-one ministry. There are times in discipling when the needs of one outweigh the needs of many. A student must learn how to discern those moments. Many times those are the moments when a person's life is most impacted.
Level Three: The inner circle ministry. Jesus discipled Peter, James and John more than the others. Sometimes as youth ministers, our discipleship is just with a group. We need to develop a leadership core (Matthew 17:1) that helps us expand our abilities to disciple others as we reproduce ourselves.
Level Four: Group discipleship. Jesus taught the 12 and had time with the masses as part of his discipleship ministry (Matthew 11:1). Our discipleship to the group should lead them to want more intimate training. If it doesn't, the process will end with the group and will not develop other levels.
Level Five: Lost world ministry. Jesus stood on a street corner and discipled a lost world. As people passed by, He would explain the things of God to them From this ministry, some would be drawn into the group discipleship process. He didn't have them come to them; He took the message to them (Matthew 7:28-8:1).
The Process
Out of these criteria, the "Ministry of Multiplication and Passing on Principles" process began. I wanted my students to take on the ministry of Christ. Jesus came to do two things: to seek and save those who are lost and to make disciples-evangelism and discipleship. These two cannot be separated.
Ministry of multiplication is evangelism. Passing on principles is discipleship. The premise of M.O.M. and P.O.P. is that by the end of their sophomore year, youth will begin to take on adult responsibility for their lives and the ministry of their peers. Each fall, we have a MOM and POP retreat where students go through a "rite of passage" and begin taking on the significant task.
The training encompasses the following areas:
- What is ministry?
- Fourteen characteristics of MOM and POP
- Leading under authority
- Family structure and family care and
- Three levels of motivation.
The training was the knowledge part. Taking the trained MOM and POP students, we would divide the youth group into "families." Each MOM and POP leader would take five students to disciple. We would list our entire youth ministry by three categories based on attendance: Level One: 75-100 percent, Level Two: 50-74 percent and Level Three: 0-49 percent.
Each discipler would have students from each category and would invite them to a family meeting. Each family consists of a Mom and her four or five girls and a Pop and his four or five boys. Together they make up a "mini" marriage, and their job is to role model the Christian walk for their family.
The Moms and Pops would decide the standard of the youth ministry. They role model what they want the rest of the students to do. They would sit in front of the church, and when the pastor said to turn to a certain passage, the Moms and Pops would be the first to do it. They would take notes and sing the songs. Everything rises and falls on leadership-but remember that those being led will only rise to your lowest standards. The MOM and POP process is a way to help your leaders raise their lowest standards.
On Wednesday night, I would disciple and model the lesson for the next week for the Moms and Pops. Sunday night, they would lead their small-group discipleship. I started with four Moms and Pops, and 10 years later, I had 42. The students involved didn't drop out and have gone into the ministry. So we have students who are now taking on ministry, setting the standards and developing skills.
One key to success in this process is that each term ends in a major event where the Moms and Pops lead their families to camp or on a mission trip. Our Moms and Pops teach the morning Bible study at camp to their family. They are the ones down front counseling with those who need to make decisions for Christ. Between their junior and senior years, the Moms and Pops are to be involved in global missions, and they teach global missions during their senior year. These students feel significant and a vital part of God's work while they acquire lifelong skills.
After 10 years' involvement in this process, I knew I had reached my goal. One day at camp, the Moms and Pops asked me to take a day off. A day off during camp? That would be impossible! They they asked, "What do you do that we can't?" I thought for a minute--absolutely nothing! I took the day off.
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