Protecting Teenagers from Suicide
Many students feel like they can't go on another day. Unfortunately, they see suicide as the only way out. To say that feelings of suicide are a common feeling is an overstatement, but we must understand that it is a solution that many overwhelmed teenagers contemplate. The question is, how can you help identify the warning signs of suicide in a teenager and make sure he/she gets help? Here are some straight-forward guidelines you can follow:
Trust Your Feelings
Don't ignore suicidal signals. Be willing to ask, "Have you ever thought about killing yourself?" without being afraid that you will encourage the teen to do so. The best thing you can do for a suicidal teen is to get him to talk about desires to "quit" life. Sometimes bringing it out into the open is the biggest relief to the individual. Don't listen to what the person is saying as much as you listen to why he is saying it.
Recognize the Signs
Look for the following warning signs that point toward a suicidal individual:
- Talking about dying
- Change in eating or sleeping habits
- "I don't care" attitude
- Constant tiredness
- Wanting to be alone
- Giving away possessions
- Changes in grades, personality and friends
- Destructive behavior
- "I wish I weren't alive" or "Nobody cares" statements
- Previous attempts
- Hostility
- Persistent boredom
Remember that a person may not be suicidal just because he/she exhibits one of these signs. Generally, the behaviors are more complex and several of these symptoms occur at once.
Help Find the Source
Help the teen seek what triggered the suicidal thoughts. Sometimes they are tired of their ongoing depression. It may be that they feel extremely hopeless. Frequently they are experiencing the sense of failure in school, in after-school sports or after an episode with the police. Other times it's in response to the breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Still others respond with suicidal thoughts right after the death of a parent or close friendor because of an unwanted pregnancy.
Tell a Professional
Never promise to maintain secrecy where suicide is concerned. The reason people tell others they want to die is because they want help. Talking with a mental health professional can help the student with this terrible feeling without judging him, talking him out of his pain or arguing with him. Keep a good relationship with an area therapist, specifically one who is good with teens and crisis.
Stay With the Teen
When a youth is discussing a suicide plan, stay with him until he is in a safe place with trained mental health professionals to help. Assure the teen that you care enough to stay with him until he can get some help, unless you might be in some sort of danger.
Find a Reason to Live
Help the teen find a reason why he should continue to live. Help the student understand that he is not bad or weak because he is having suicidal thoughts. Remind him that he is not crazy either. Avoid telling him that his problems do not merit suicide. Helping him find a way to reduce his pain or learn coping skills can provide the necessary hope that he needs to choose life.
Talk About the Good Things You Have Done Together
Tell the teen how much you appreciate him and what qualities he has that you admire. Tell him how much you and others would miss him if he succeeded at the suicide attempt. Ask him to tell you what suicide would accomplish for every person involved in his life. Have him set some short-term goals (for example, "On Friday, will you meet me for lunch?").
Once you have dealt with the immediate crisis, ask him if he would mind if you called him. If you ask for his phone number, remember that he does not need any more disappointments or experiences of rejection. Follow up, and if he does not answer the phone, always leave a message to let him know you were thinking of him.
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