Ground Rules for Discipline in Youth Groups

Written by Richard Barnes

For an inexperienced leader, the prospect of having to discipline a student can be frightening. For the most experienced teachers, handling discipline situations is frustrating and distracting. There are no easy answers, but here are a few things to remember when dealing with discipline:

Basic Student Ministry in the Kingdom-Focused Church

Work on Relationships First
When you have a genuine relationship with a teenager, you are more likely to receive a positive response if and when you have to get tough with them. If youth know that you care about them and have their best interests in mind, they are more likely to follow your leadership.

Seek to Understand Individual Youth
Sometimes we expect the kids in our class this year to be like the kids from last year, or we may compare one youth with another in the class. With the volatile nature of the adolescent years, it may not even be reasonable to compare a student today with how he or she acted yesterday.

Let Youth Be Youth
Normal youth are noisy, active and easily distracted. Expecting youth to behave like adults is expecting the impossible. Controlled chaos may be a more accurate description of youth's learning experiences than a quiet, orderly, situation that exists only in your dreams.

Make the Guidelines Clear
It is vital that we set and maintain clear expectations of youth and their behavior. Who sets these guidelines? You and your youth should collaborate, and negotiate, but never retaliate. Youth tend to support what they help create. Work together with them to decide what should be expected of them during worship, study sessions, retreats or fellowships. One of the best things we can do for youth is to help them understand the process of setting limits.

Be Sure the Consequence Fits the Crime
If you are going to set guidelines for behavior, spell out the consequences for violating the guidelines. Decide the non-negotiables -- like the possession of illegal drugs, alcohol or weapons. Spell out beforehand what the "send out or send home" offenses are, so if and when you have to remove a student from a class or event, the discipline doesn't seem arbitrary.