Helping Families in Personal Crises

Written by Richard E. Dodge

Seldom is Satan’s destructive power more evident than when he gets a foothold in the Christian home. The home has become the battleground over values, roles, and faith. Satan has bombarded the home through television, radio, books and even computers.

How to Minister to Families in Your Church

While we never should accept the deterioration and destruction of the home as a way of life, we often must face this reality. Indeed, many of us have faced it in our own lives through another family member who has experienced marriage failure - or maybe you yourself. Divorce and family crises are real, and our response as Christians is to help others survive and get their feet back on the ground.

Offering help in family crisis may be something many of us find difficult because we fear that we may be invading a person’s privacy or merely "butting in." But think about this: If you get involved and get rejected, at least you’ve made an effort. And many times your involvement will come as a welcome path to take out of a bad situation. The person making a mistake may simply be crying out for help, but no one seems willing to take the risk to respond.

Here are some Dos and Don’ts for ministering in family crises.

Dos

• Focus on understanding the crisis.
• Treat all family members as individuals with needs. 
  Remember to meet children’s needs as well as their parents’ needs.
• Develop open and clear lines of communication.
• When necessary, suggest a professional Christian counselor.
• Develop specific plans for meeting immediate needs.
• Show real concern for each person.
• Make referrals without dropping your caring ministry.
• Prepare to make a long-term investment in ministry.

Don’ts

• Don’t be judgmental.
• Don’t give advice.
• Don’t show a negative attitude or choose sides.
• Don’t be dogmatic with remarks such as, "All of you must get professional counseling."
• Don’t chastise people with negative remarks or a poor attitude.
• Don’t identify a problem person.
• Don’t make theological evaluations.
• Don’t try to defend God, even if the effected person criticizes God.

Remember Matthew 5:45: "He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous" (NIV). We must do our best to help or lead people in crisis.