Slaying the Dragons of Teen Addiction
This article is courtesy of HomeLife magazine.
Addiction can be defined as a dependency on a substance or activity. We live in a society filled with frightening addictions. Today’s teens face potential addictive dangers unlike any previous generation. Three serious addictions our teenagers battle are the use of tobacco, gambling, and excessive behavior with food.
Parents must be constantly on guard against unhealthy products and ideas our society peddles to teenagers. Some seem so innocent at first that parents may miss the more subtle signs of addiction altogether. But if these problems are not confronted early, they can become life-threatening. Here are three “dragons” every parent should look out for.
The Tobacco Dragon
Most adults know that tobacco use is addictive and dangerous, yet many fail to confront their teens because of their own smoking habits. Some rationalize that tobacco is not as dangerous as other drugs. They are wrong. Smoking can destroy a healthy body and can lead to other substance abuse.
One day after school, Janice smelled cigarette smoke on her 15-year-old daughter’s clothes. The next day, Janice searched her daughter Melinda’s bedroom and found a carton of cigarettes. Two years before, Janice had watched her own father die a painful death from lung cancer. That afternoon, she confronted Melinda with the cigarettes.
“Melinda,” Janice asked. “Are you smoking?”
Melinda reacted angrily. “Those cigarettes belong to a friend!” she shouted. “I’m just keeping them for her.”
“Don’t lie to me, Melinda,” said Janice. “Are you smoking?”
Melinda finally admitted she was smoking. But she said: “I’m not hurting anybody. I should be allowed to smoke if I want to! Anyway, you ought to be glad I’m not doing drugs!”
“Melinda,” Janice said, “I’m glad you aren’t using drugs. But why do you smoke? Don’t you know how dangerous it is to your health?
“I just smoke for fun, Mom,” she said, “and I can quit anytime I want to. Anyway, I enjoy it, and it helps me feel less tense.”
Janice knew Melinda had no idea how addictive nicotine is. She had watched her father try to quit smoking for 40 years without success. Later that week, after hours of prayer, reflection, and research, Janice wrote the following letter to Melinda:
Dear Melinda:
I am writing this letter because I love you. You are a beautiful young woman with a strong, healthy body. I have prayed for you since before you were born. I have done everything in my power to keep you safe and healthy. I cannot now allow you to hurt yourself with tobacco.
I’ve done some research on smoking, and here is what I’ve found: Tobacco companies pour millions of dollars into advertising cigarettes in magazines that today’s teenagers read. They try to make smoking look “cool” and “grown up.” They don’t care about kids; they care about profits. Tobacco ads lure teens like you by associating smoking with independence, freedom, rebellion, and even weight loss. Some cigarettes are especially designed for and marketed to young girls. Just look at the magazine ads. The models are slim and attractive and wear fashionable clothes.
Most adult smokers started smoking as teenagers. Even though tobacco companies deny they target teens, teenagers are their most important customers. In fact, according to some estimates, more than 3,000 teenagers in the United States become regular smokers every day.
Melinda, don’t let the advertisers fool you. Cigarette smoking causes lung cancer, and nicotine is addictive. You may think you can stop smoking anytime you want to, but you can’t. I love you too much to let you become addicted to tobacco and destroy your health. Your smoking must stop.
Love,
Mom
Melinda read the letter, but she didn’t stop smoking. Janice knew she had to take more drastic measures. She had to attack the smoking dragon head-on before it took control of her daughter’s life. She confronted Melinda with a list of consequences if she continued to smoke.
She told her the following:
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I will stop your allowance.
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You will not get your learner’s permit.
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You will not smoke on our property.
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I will search your bedroom and purse daily, and I will destroy all cigarettes I find.
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I will find a substance-abuse treatment program for you to attend.
Janice did the right thing. Melinda balked at the conditions, but Janice didn’t back down. Melinda finally gave up smoking.
Teens and Tobacco
Each year smoking kills more than 142,000 women and 276,000 men. Girls like Melinda should consider the smoking risks listed below:
Lung cancer is now the leading cause of cancer deaths among women in the United States.
Since 1980, 3 million women have died from smoking-related causes.
Girls who smoke risk heart disease and lung cancer, as well as reduced fertility and premature menopause.
Smoking during pregnancy can cause spontaneous abortions, stillbirths, sudden infant death syndrome, and low birth-weight babies.
Seventy-five percent of women who smoke would like to quit, but only 2 to 3 percent quit every year.
The Gambling Dragon
Stephen’s gambling addiction started innocently enough, but later it grew into a full-grown dragon. In junior high Stephen and his classmates made $1 and $2 bets on school sports games. He won a few bets and increased his sports wagers to $5 and $10.
When Stephen was in high school, his parents bought him a computer. He used the computer for school, but in his spare time he surfed the Web. One afternoon his Internet provider advertised a new Web site: “An entire casino at your fingertips! Slots, bingo, blackjack, and video poker.” Stephen visited the Web site, played a few games, won a few bets, and was hooked.
When Stephen went to college, his new roommate told him, “The gambling here is unbelievable. There are bookies everywhere on campus. Everybody is gambling.” Stephen’s wagers grew. He started to lose big money. He began to steal to cover his losses. By his senior year, Stephen had racked up a $90,000 gambling debt. When his parents discovered their son’s gambling addiction, they were shocked.
Stephen wanted to quit, but he couldn’t. He did whatever it took to fund his gambling. Stephen ended up in prison. And, like some of his other gambling-addicted and indebted friends, he contemplated suicide.
Gambling is seductive. It promises two elements important to teenagers during their adolescent years: money and self-esteem. Teens feel good about themselves when they win. If their parents are silent about gambling, teens think they condone it as acceptable behavior.
Parents must beware of anything that even hints of gambling. They must monitor the Web sites their teen visits. They must also be aware of their teen’s daily activities, friends, phone calls, and how he or she is spending time and money.
Parents must provide their kids a Christian perspective about gambling, speaking out about why it is wrong, and they must get them help if they suspect a gambling addiction.
Teens and Gambling
The American Psychiatric Association defines pathological gambling as an impulse control disorder with symptoms similar to those of drug and alcohol addictions. When the gambling addict tries to stop, he experiences painful withdrawal, a loss of control, and the inability to stop even after trying.
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Fifteen million Americans suffer from pathological gambling.
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Pathological gamblers have an overwhelming, uncontrollable impulse to gamble. They can’t stop themselves from gambling by determination of will or by rigid self-discipline.
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Gambling is the fastest-growing addictive behavior in America today.
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Major studies of adult compulsive gamblers reveal that the majority started gambling in late childhood or early adolescence, between the ages of 11 and 15.
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Parents are often unaware gambling can be addictive. If parents do have an idea their kids are gambling, they may dismiss it as harmless fun.
The Eating Disorder Dragon
Kerry, a high school freshman, was slightly overweight. Kids at school teased Kerry about her weight. More than anything, she wanted to be thin like the beautiful models she saw in magazines and in movies. So, Kerry decided to stop eating.
At first, Kerry’s parents didn’t notice that she wasn’t eating properly. Her mother even commented on how nice Kerry looked after she lost a few pounds. Soon, however, the once lovely teenager became almost skin and bones. Her parents begged Kerry to eat, but she refused. When Kerry looked in the mirror, she still saw a “fat” person. Kerry was a victim of the eating disorder anorexia nervosa.
According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, “Anorexia nervosa literally means loss of appetite, but this is a misnomer: A person with anorexia nervosa is hungry, but he or she denies the hunger because of an irrational fear of becoming fat. Anorexia nervosa is often characterized by self-starvation, food preoccupation and rituals, compulsive exercising, and an absence of menstrual cycles.”
Typical anorexics are young Caucasian females who are high achievers, intelligent, self-disciplined, and very demanding of themselves. Many anorexics feel an intense need to please other people.
Many Americans seem to believe that extremely thin women are beautiful. Some of today’s supermodels look like they are not far from starvation. Teenage girls feel pressure to reach that thin ideal. In search of a model-perfect body, many are literally starving themselves to death.
Like anorexia nervosa, bulimia is a dangerous eating disorder. ANAD says, “Bulimia nervosa is characterized by recurring periods of binge eating, during which large amounts of food are consumed in a short period of time…The bulimic is aware that his or her eating is out of control. He or she is fearful of not being able to stop eating, and is afraid of being fat. The bulimic usually feels depressed and guilty after a binge. Frequently, the binges are followed by purging, through self-induced vomiting, abuse of laxatives and/or diuretics, or periods of fasting. The bulimic’s weight is usually in a normal or somewhat above normal range.”
A teenager with bulimia looks normal and can function daily in a relatively normal way. Parents may not even be aware that their teenager is bulimic. Both anorexia and bulimia are forms of addictive behavior. Although eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia are more common in girls, boys sometimes develop these disorders, too. Parents must respond quickly when they suspect their teenager has an eating disorder. Their child’s doctor can examine him or her and evaluate what treatment is needed. Treatment may consist of group therapy, individual and family therapy, hospitalization, nutritional counseling, medication, and support groups.
Slaying the Dragons of Addictions
Depending on the type of addiction, here are some places to inquire about help for your child:
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Your pastor or youth leader
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A Christian counselor
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Local addictions clinic
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Hospital chemical dependency unit
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Adolescent addiction programs
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State Department of Health
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Gamblers Anonymous (213) 386-8789
www.gamblersanonymous.org -
Gam-A-Teen and Gam-Anon (718) 352-1671
www.gam-anon.org -
Addiction Resource Guide
www.addictionresourceguide.com
If you suspect your teen is struggling with an addiction, don’t wait for confirmation. Get help now, before it’s too late.
Denise George is a freelance writer from Birmingham, Alabama. She and her husband, Timothy, have two children, Christian and Alyce.
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