Leaving Your Child at the Door

Written by Ginna Ashby

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Leaving your child at the door of her Sunday School class doesn't have to be a stressful ordeal for either of you. Most children experience separation anxiety during their early preschool years. It's a normal step in your child's emotional development. But, take hope. There are measures you can take in order to help your baby, 1-year-old, or 2-year-old have a happy start to her day at church.

Setting a Happy Tone Before Arrival at Church

• Make Sunday morning less stressful. Preschoolers can sense your stress. Set out your child's clothes on Saturday night. Label all of your child's belongings and pack diapers and a change of clothes in his diaper bag.
• Feed your child before you leave for church. Separation is more difficult when a child is hungry.
• Sing a song about church or Jesus while dressing your child. Make up words to a song, using a familiar tune. You might sing these words: "We are getting dressed for church, dressed for church, dressed for church. We are getting dressed for church. We like to go to church" (tune "Mary Had a Little Lamb").
• Talk about your child's teachers and friends in her room while traveling to church.

When You Arrive at Your Child's Room

• Knock on the door and wait for a teacher to open the door. The door of the room is closed so that noise and people in the hallway do not distract preschoolers from Bible learning.
• Encourage a child who is walking to walk to the door and into the room. It is easier for your child to separate from you if she is not in your arms.
• Notify teachers of any changes in your child's routine. One teacher may take your child while another teacher talks with you and records schedule changes.
• Follow the security procedures outlined in your church's preschool policies. You may be required to fill out a sign-in sheet. To ensure that your child is released to an authorized adult, you will be given an ID card, a claim check, or numbered beeper.
• Interest your child in the teaching item the teacher brings to the door. A teacher may bring a book, a nature item, a picture, or a toy to the door to help ease the transition into the room.

What to Do If Your Child Cries at the Door

• Tell your child good-bye.
• Reassure your child that Mommy and Daddy will be back later. Then leave. Prolonged separations make it more difficult for your child to adjust.
• Avoid going back to your child's room to check on him. If your child sees you, it may upset him and the tears will start to flow all over again.
• Know that your child's teacher will come to get you if she is unable to comfort your preschooler after a reasonable amount of time.

Don't be alarmed if you have tried these suggestions and your child still cries at the door. Separation anxiety can be a brief period in your child's development or it may last months. Regular attendance at church does help your baby, 1-year-old, or 2-year-old overcome this anxious stage. Promptly picking up your child after church reassures him that you will come for him in a timely manner.

Your child's teachers pray that your child will have a happy time at church. As teachers share Jesus' love with your child, he will come to realize that church is indeed a loving, happy place.

Ginna Ashby is a parent and the director of preschool ministries at Fruit Cove Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Florida. This article was adapted from "Leaving Your Child at the Door]" in [Early Bible Steps, Fall 2001. Please see the original source for a full list of references cited in this article.

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