Are You Willing to Negotiate?

Mention the term "negotiation" and people are apt to think of attempting Middle East peace talks, discussing a salary, or purchasing a car. Negotiation is a tricky thing, and yet it's a part of every aspect of our lives. We negotiate with roommates, friends, parents, and children. In the business world, negotiating the highest salary and best perks are considered a ritualistic part of achievement.

But 'fess up now: How often do you enter negotiation with the other person's best interests in mind? If negotiating is about winning, how does loving your neighbor as yourself apply? Isn't the object of negotiating about "me first, you last"?

Negotiating Your Perspective
Not so, says Asa Hunt, executive pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Houston, Texas. Hunt has written and developed a course on conflict resolution. He says there are two types of negotiations: relational and competitive. But according to Hunt, the most important thing to remember is that ending in a win/win situation is what we as Christians should always strive for.

"Christian negotiation presupposes that you have a goal in mind that has a relational basis --- that you are not dealing with an enemy," Hunt says. "Building a relationship and competition are not the same. In negotiating with a person with whom we have some kind of relationship, the goal should always be a win/win outcome."

Hunt says Scripture is very clear about negotiating when there is conflict in a relationship. "When something is wrong in a relationship, the goal is to make things right. Scripture says to go to the person, speak about the conflict, and then move to forgiveness and reconciliation. If the person refuses to talk, the Bible tells us to get another person to accompany us as a sign of genuine interest and concern," Hunt says.

Must Christians Lose at Negotiations?
Negotiating like a Christian doesn't mean we are being taken like lambs to the slaughter. There is nothing wrong with competition. It's how we handle the victory that sets Christians apart. Hunt says just because you win a tennis match doesn't mean you have to be mean-spirited or unfriendly.

"Jesus said to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves," Hunt reminds. "He said we have to understand how the opposition thinks and acts. It means we have a personal witness each time we enter a negotiation. There is no place for lying, cheating, coercion, or intimidation. We are called as Christians to operate in good faith and good will. We must uphold our principals and remain faithful to them using Christ as the model for behavior."

Putting It Into Practice
Someone in the trenches knows all too well the challenges facing Christians in the business world. Dean Ash, regional manager for sales at Cisco Systems (a computer company in Dallas), says negotiations are a critical element in his position.

"I try to be mindful in every negotiation of my set of values I live by. If it's God first, family second, church third, and work fourth, I have a clear set of guidelines and can do an inventory about how I am actually living those values," Ash says. "I try to make sure those values are evident in any negotiation."

Ash says prayer and reading Scripture, especially Proverbs, guide and challenge him as a businessperson. "God calls me to be faithful. If we are less than faithful, we are open to attack. The lesson for me is --- it is better to walk away with less than to be less than faithful to God."

Dr. Ray Pritchard, co-author of Leadership Lessons of Jesus and senior pastor at Calvary Memorial Church in Oak Park, Ill., says the key to successful negotiating can be summed up in one word: integrity. He says all the techniques in the world won't help if we lack personal integrity.

"For negotiations to succeed, you need people on both sides of the table committed to dealing with each other honestly. And even if the other person won't make that commitment, we still have to be men and women of integrity anyway," says Pritchard. "Are we looking for a personal victory? Are we trying to win at all costs? Or do we have the interests of the other person at heart as well?"

"I am struck by a statement the Pharisees made about Jesus in Matthew 22:16. " 'Teacher,' they said, 'We know you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are.' This is remarkable because it comes from the other side. It tells us how His opponents sized up His character in the last few days of His life. It's an honest evaluation of Jesus by men who intended to murder Him."

Pritchard says by using this Scripture as an example, we see that Jesus was exactly what He seemed to be. His life matched His lips, His deeds matched His words, and His character backed up His claims. So the next time you get ready to "cut the big deal," think about Jesus. Even His enemies knew He was a man of integrity. Can the same thing be said about us?

This article is courtesy of Christian Single Magazine

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