Ways You Can Make Your Marriage Better

Written by JB & Shugie Collingsworth

Recently one of our children was moaning about a poor test grade. With a desperate look and a plea for sympathy, he suggested, “I don’t think I have ever been taught how to study. I really just don’t know what to do.”

It sounded like an excuse, but I decided to start where he was and told him we would help him learn how to study. I asked, “Did you read the material more than once?” “No,” he replied. I continued, “Did your teacher give a study guide?” “Well, she gave us terms to define but it was not required, so I did not do them.”

“Okay,” I replied, “Let’s start with the obvious and figure out what studying is. It really is not rocket science. Read the chapter at least twice, with a highlighter in hand, marking each term as you come to it. Then type up the terms and define each so you can use this sheet to review in preparation for the next test. Ask if the teacher offers tutoring or group study time and plan to attend.”

This child’s schedule began to change gradually and he actually put into practice some of these simple, basic suggestions. Guess what? Next test he made a much better grade and he was so proud of himself!

Why am I telling you this story? In marriage we sometimes complain and blame our unhappiness on our spouse. Usually that is time to go back to basics and put into practice some of the simple clear instructions God has given us in the Bible. Here are some suggestions for you to put into practice today.

1. Be nice to your spouse! It is amazing how relationships improve when we decide to be nice and kind and thoughtful. Not only will your presence and your deeds of service pour out a blessing on your spouse, you will find yourself much happier for having been nice.

2. Watch your tongue. We choose our words and they have the power to build up or tear down. Can you determine to choose words wisely, at least for a day? God’s word instructs, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification . . . , that it may give grace to those who hear,” Ephesians 4:29. That instruction is for you and me! 

3. Turn away from temptation and evil. God knows we will have opportunity to behave badly, but He has given instructions for our good and for the success of our marriage and family. Obey God when He says, “... deny ungodliness and worldly desires and live sensibly, righteously, and godly in the present age,” Titus 2:12. In Ephesians 5:4 we find, “Do not let immorality or any impurity or greed be named among you, and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting...”

4. Read a Proverb a day. Whatever the day of the month is, read that Proverb.  And commit to obey what God says through the passage each day. We should know by now that God is much more trustworthy than we are. We do ourselves a favor when we follow His instructions rather than our selfish whims.

5. Never forget you are not on your own! You will find joy and contentment when you lean on God and allow Him to accomplish His will in your marriage, both in the good times and in the unavoidable bad times. So, allow Him to rule in your life and anticipate His supernatural intervention.

“Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might,” Ephesians 6:10.
“It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me,” Galatians 2:20.
“Put on the Lord Jesus Christ,” Romans 13:14.
“I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me...for when I am weak, then I am strong,” 2 Corinthians 12:9.

These are just a few of the basics, but we trust you will see a change for better in your marriage when you put these suggestions into practice! May God bless you and your marriage.

JB & Shugie Collingsworth lead marriage seminars and retreats that impact couples around the world. They are based out of Dallas/FtWorth, TX.

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