How to Answer Tough Questions from Kids

Written by Carrie Beth Tonks

“Mrs. Mollie, how old is Jesus?”
“Mrs. Dee, when did God make the dinosaurs?”
”Mrs. Carrie Beth, when can I be baptized?”

201 Great Questions for Parents and Children

The questions preschoolers and children ask of their teachers and ministers go on and on. We know that throughout history well-known teachers have used questions as a tool for learning. Jesus used questions to teach his disciples, those He encountered, and the crowds who followed Him.

Let’s examine some guidelines to help us answer the big and little questions our children ask.

• Answer the question that is asked. Find out why the child has asked the question. Do not assume you know why the child asked the question. Take every question from a child seriously. Answer the question simply and honestly. Never embarrass a child about his question. Once you have answered the child, ask an open-ended question back to the child.
   
• Provide helpful books. Visit your local Christian or LifeWay bookstore to discover some helpful books for the age group you teach. Be sure to read the books before using them so that you know it contains appropriate theology.


• Be a good listener. Real listening means listening without judging children for what they say. Children will then feel validated when you listen to them. As you listen, you are telling the child that her concerns are worthy of your time and attention. Children can now feel safe with you and will be more open to future conversations.
   
• Make time for conversation. Time is always an issue in our busy lives today. Recruit enough teachers in your class/department so that there can be opportunities for one-on-one conversations.
   
• Get on a child’s level. Remember that children ask questions from their own limited understanding and life experiences, not from an adult’s point of view. They need an answer that will make them feel good. They need to know that God loves them.
   
• Whisper a prayer before answering a child’s question. We are God’s representatives. We are His arms, His eyes, and His voice. Anytime I have a teachable, spiritual moment, I whisper a prayer that God will direct my words as I seek to guide a child toward a better understanding of God.

The following are some questions I have encountered and some ways of answering them:

Preschool Questions

1. What does God look like?
   God is very different from you and me. He is real and living, but He does not have a body and face like us. (John 4:24) He does not have hair or fingers. He does not wear clothes or get hot or cold. You cannot see or touch God.
2. What is the difference between God and Jesus?
   One of the most important things we can learn from the Bible is that there is only one God. God is the only One that we are to sing to, pray to, and worship. God sent Jesus, His son, to earth to show His love to all people. After Jesus arose from the grave, He returned to heaven and lives with God now. Note: With preteens, this discussion can lead to a further discussion on the Holy Spirit, who He is, and what He does.

Elementary Questions

1. Where did God come from? Did God have a mom and dad?
   No. He did not need a mom and dad because He was never born. He was not born in heaven because He has always been alive. He was alive before your grandparents were born and before there were any rocks, trees, plants, and animals. God will always be alive. This is hard for us to understand, but this is true.
    
2. Where is heaven?
   The Bible says that heaven is up. (Psalm 33:13-14). When God looks at earth from heaven, He looks down. Heaven is a real and wonderful place. It will be so much different from what we understand about earth. Where heaven is exactly, we don’t know.
    
3. Why does God not always answer my prayers?
   When we pray, we expect a certain answer from God. For example, if your grandmother is sick, you pray asking God to help her get better. You then expect God to heal her. Sometimes this happens the way we think, and sometimes it does not. We do not know exactly why God does things the way He does, but we do know two things: first, God loves us, cares for us, and has a plan for our lives and the lives of those we love; second, God always answers our prayers but not always the way we expect. God answers us in different ways (yes, no, wait) because He is in control. But always remember, God wants what is best for us because He loves us and cares for us.

Questions help our children grow and develop in their thinking and beliefs. How will you answer your children’s questions this week?