Family Balance

Written by Ken R. Canfield

This article is courtesy of ParentLife.

Neil considered himself blessed in his career. He had a successful, growing business, and his family lived in the house of their dreams. When Neil's business met some significant challenges, he devoted more time and energy to keep it moving upward and spent more and more evenings away from home.

Then, within a week, things began crashing down around him. He discovered that his son had been downloading pornography from the Internet. Creditors were calling, and his marriage was in trouble. This influential business leader, who was once a mentor to others, suddenly felt vulnerable.

Workaholism can be a subtle, gradual addiction, and Christian fathers often are just as vulnerable as non-Christians. Like Neil, many men get lured into the lie that wealth, power, and careers are the ultimate sources of satisfaction in life.

To fight the battle of workaholism, regularly assess how you are balancing this challenging territory. Ask your wife and older children for input, and take their comments to heart.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• How successfully are you handling the demands of work and home? How are you prioritizing your work time and family commitment?
• Do you have a budget? While there are many valid reasons to choose a particular career and a specific job, the main reason you are working is to provide for your family. Know your family's current and future needs to know how much income you need. Doing so leaves you free to turn down higher-paying opportunities that may mean more time away from home.
• Is it more important to make a large salary doing something you do not particularly enjoy? Or should you settle for a lesser wage that provides flex-time or pursue a career that is more meaningful and fulfilling?
• If your wife works outside the home, how is she handling work and family issues? What are the pros and cons (in regard to finances and the impact on your children) of having two working parents?
• Are you staying connected to your children? If you are losing touch with your children's feelings and needs, how important can that work project really be? Just as God emphasized the need for rest (Psalm 46:5), make sure you allow yourself some time to relax, renew relationships, and recommit to your priorities.

From an eternal perspective, broken relationships at home will cost you much more in stress and grief than anything you could face in the business world.

Balancing Work and Family
1. Do not ignore tension. Make a change now.
2. Do not bring home the stress from your job. How many times have you lost your temper at your child over something unimportant?
3. Do not let distractions spoil time with your children. Allow time to just "hang out" with them.

Dr. Ken R. Canfield is founder and president of the National Center for Fathering. He has written several books, including The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers. He and his wife, Dee, have five children.