Web of Love: Is Online Dating Worth It?

Written by Christa A. Banister

You’re chilling at home, reveling in the bliss of Chinese takeout and a new episode of “The Office.” Just as Michael Scott finds himself in embarrassingly awkward situation #2,439, the screen cuts to a commercial, and that annoyingly cheery online dating music kicks in.

You know the drill – the couple with the blindingly white smiles twirl each other around, and the voiceover guy talks about how the 29 dimensions of compatibility will forever change the course of your dating life. And because your first few matches are “free,” why wouldn’t you log on and meet the love of your life?

Here you were enjoying a nice quiet evening, and the kind folks of a dating Web site have reminded you, “Hey, you’re single.” As if you needed another reminder. But whether you’re happy with your relationship status or not, the sheer curiosity about online dating services has caused a slew of singles (more than 21.8 percent of Americans in recent studies) to log on.

According to stats from Jupiter Media Research, a service that documents current online dating statistics, dating sites account for 1 percent of all U.S. Web sites – compared with 1.9 percent for travel and .73 percent for music – and garner the most content revenue. In other words, helping people find love online has some serious money-making potential, with more services popping up every day.

But is the investment of time and hard-earned cash to find love in cyberspace actually worth it?

Make me a match
“As a Christian, I just couldn’t picture myself meeting anyone worthwhile in the stereotypical dating spots like a bar or a dance club,” shares Melissa Belda, 32, of Chicago. “I was so tired of the meat markets. So one of my friends who was having a great time meeting people online suggested that I try Love@AOL.”

Like many people who’ve tried online dating, Belda had a few horror stories along the way. One guy insisted on coming over to her apartment after only two brief conversations. Another didn’t exactly represent himself correctly when he claimed to be an engineer (he was actually a construction worker), and made some strange comments like he “sensed” she’d just taken a shower. But Belda’s online dating experience eventually improved considerably when she met her now-husband Jeff.

“It was great to already have established communication before we met in person,” Belda says. “Sure, there were a couple of times when there were uncomfortable silences in the beginning. But before long, we really clicked, and I’ve never been happier.”

Lee Wilson, Web site Marketer for Family Dynamics, a Franklin, Tenn.-based marriage ministry, affirms those like Belda who have pursued relationships online. “I think they’re being wise. So many people think that a great relationship will  just fall into their lap,” Wilson explains. ‘

“Meeting people online is similar to meeting at church or a party. But when you go to a Christian online dating service, the odds of finding someone strongly compatible are much higher. I heard my boss once say, ‘If you want to catch better fish, fish in a better spot.’ And that makes perfect sense.”

Can’t find me love
But for every person who meets “the one” online, there are just as many people who haven’t been successful. For Katrina Glaim, 31, of Coon Rapids, Minn., the experience was an exercise in futility.

“I decided to give online dating a whirl because I figured it was one of any number of ways that God could choose to bring Mr. Right into my life,” Glaim shares. “I’ve been on christianmingle.com for longer than I’d care to admit, and my overall experience has been frustrating. Even online I run into the age-old problem of the guys that I’m interested in don’t seem to be interested in me. And the ones I could care less about are the ones who initiate communication.”

For Timothy Rohde, 40, an associate professor of English in Springfield, Mo., his chief problem with cyberdating was a lack of chemistry when he and his online potential actually met in person.

“It’s so easy to make yourself seem a certain way online, but you don’t really know what the person is like in real life until you meet,” Rohde says. “In my opinion, being in love is 51 percent commitment and 49 percent chemistry. You can make the choice to love someone – and that choice should sustain you during those ‘dry’ times. But when there is no chemistry, there is no chemistry.”

A “complete lack of chemistry” was also the main reason that 29-year-old Jessica Folkins wasn’t a fan of finding love online.

“It was so weird. I’d find someone who seemed compatible through the service, but when we went out, there was nothing there,” she recalls. “I am not at all against meeting people online, but I personally did not receive any benefit from the services I tried.”

Though people have had varying degrees of success with online dating, Wilson is still optimistic about Christians finding future love matches online. He’s so passionate about it, in fact, that he started realchristiansingles.com – a free Web service that has led to several successful marriages and engagements.

“I think the advantage is that you’ve got the cream of the crop from all over the world to choose from when mingling with fellow Christians online,” Wilson offers. “Instead of meeting people who may or may not love God, you’re getting to choose from thousands who do. Now who wouldn’t like those odds?”

Like any form of meeting people, finding someone online worth dating isn’t always easy. But with far more people than just the guys and girls in your singles group logging on, cyberspace provides a sea of possibilities. And maybe even true love with a click of your mouse – who knows?

Christa A. Banister had plenty of her own scary online dating stories. Enough, in fact, to inspire her first novel, “Around the World in 80 Dates,” a semi-biographical look at the train wrecks (and joys) that relationships bring.

This article is courtesy of Christian Single.

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