Battling the Pressure to Be Perfect

Written by Dori Cook

We live in a world of glossy, airbrushed magazine covers filled with promises that, with just a little more of something, we can have the perfect life, the perfect marriage, perfect children, and the perfect image. With those messages coming at us from every direction, it’s no wonder women fall prey to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and not quite measuring up.

These thought patterns may have developed during childhood if you lived with overbearing and demanding parents who were never satisfied with your achievements. If so, you may find yourself as an adult still striving to please them and gain their love and acceptance. However, many times our fascination with the idea of perfection doesn’t come from an outside source at all. Oftentimes, our striving to be perfect comes from pressure we put on ourselves. The only real way to turn that kind of thinking around is to turn to God for our acceptance and value.

Jennifer Rothschild, author of Self Talk, Soul Talk and the new women's Bible study titled Me, Myself, and Lies explains that we put pressure on ourselves to attain perfection when we neglect resting in the truth that God’s ways, plans, and intentions for us are altogether perfect. “Our belief that our acceptance is based on our abilities or performance shows a misunderstanding of God’s grace,” Jennifer says. “We are to simply receive who we are from God, not achieve a status for God. Ultimately believing we need to be more shows we believe God is not enough. We trust ourselves and our opinion of ourselves more than we trust God and His opinion of us.”

With this in mind, what are some practical ways women can turn from the destructive pattern of striving for perfection?

Recognize When Being Perfect Is Consuming Your Life
Become aware of triggers that cause you to strive for perfection instead of focusing on God’s best for your life. Confess those struggles to God and ask Him to quicken your spirit when you are tempted to look to something or someone for your satisfaction or acceptance. Memorize or quote Scriptures that counteract the effects of perfectionism in your life.

Set Aside Intentional Times of Bible study, Reflection, and Prayer
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Staying grounded in the Word and soaking in God’s way of thinking and doing keeps our eyes focused on God’s plans and purposes for our lives. It changes our perspective and allows us to focus on Who He is and not what we are lacking.

Acknowledge God’s Attributes
Rehearsing God’s faithfulness in times past encourages us to trust Him with our present circumstances and future hopes and dreams. Reflect on times when He has been your Provider, your Protector, your Healer, and your Prince of Peace. Ask Him to continually remind you that He is your life and His approval is the only one that matters.

Renew Your Mind
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” Jennifer Rothschild reminds us that we begin to change our thinking when we turn to God and let Him renew our mind with truth. She says, “To change our lives, we change our thinking according to God’s Word. We refuse wrong thinking, lies, and destructive self-talk. We hold these patterns captive until they obey Christ as Paul teaches in 2 Corinthians 10:5. This is not a formula for positive self-talk, it is a pathway to life-giving, truthful soul talk!”

Almighty God, allow me to see that my life is more precious to You than silver or gold because I have been bought with a price—the shed blood of Your Son, Jesus. Nothing I have done or could ever do will be enough to deserve that free gift of Your grace. Help me to no longer measure myself against the patterns of this world, but help me keep my eyes focused intently on You and all that You have planned for me. Thank You for being my all-sufficient God. I need not look to any other for approval. How I am seen in Your eyes is all that matters and it is there that I find I am accepted, chosen, treasured, and dearly loved. Amen.

 

Dori Cook is a freelance writer who lives in Spring Hill, Tennessee, with her husband and two children. Her passion is writing about God’s faithfulness in everyday life. Visit her website at www.yourwordislife.blogspot.com.
 

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