Facing the Waves

Written by Brenda Harris

This article is courtesy of HomeLife.

Seven years. It seems impossible. Yet, on September 11, 2001, our world was stunned by deadly terrorist attacks on the United States. As surreal as the memories are for those of us who watched the scene unfold on television, our loss, outrage, and horror can’t compare to the overwhelming devastation experienced by thousands of families whose loved ones never came home that fateful September day.

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Anything But Routine
Jim Sands was a computer engineer in Manhattan. A die-hard fan of the New York Giants and an avid scuba diver, Jim had a gorgeous wife, a great job, and a love for life.

The day began like every other workday. Up at 5:00 a.m., Jim got ready for his two-hour commute. He softly kissed his wife, Jennifer, goodbye and said, “I love you.” Then he headed for his office at Cantor Fitzgerald, on the 103rd floor in Tower One of the World Trade Center. He never came home.

Just like the two towers of the World Trade Center, Jennifer Sands’ world imploded that day. Although the couple had only been married five short years, Jim was the center of her world, the joy of her existence. No one could convince Jennifer she would recover from losing Jim or that she’d even be functional again.

Then God stepped in.

“I’ve learned that God can do amazing things — things I never could have imagined,” Jennifer reflects. “Since 9/11, I have undergone a spiritual transformation from tragedy to victory in Christ.”

Today, Jennifer continues to live and work as a pharmacist in the township of Brick, New Jersey. She and Jim grew up there, just blocks from each other — rode the same bus, went to the same school, had mutual friends — but they never met until 1995. “It truly was love at first sight,” Jennifer laughingly admits. They married in May of 1996, and, according to Jennifer, were inseparable. Even today, she wears her wedding rings as a symbol of their love.

Jim and Jennifer had lavish dreams for the future. Because they both loved scuba diving and the stress-free feeling of being immersed in the ocean depths, they developed a five-year plan of action: They would retire from their fast-paced lives in corporate America and become dive instructors in Grand Cayman, British West Indies.

But those dreams were shattered that deadly day in September. Jennifer openly admits, “Jim was my life, the focus of my field of vision. He was a gift to me, but I loved the gift more than the Giver of the gift.

“Before 9/11, I believed in God, but I thought I was as close to Him as I needed to be. I knew Jesus was sent here to live and die for sinners, but I didn’t consider myself a sinner. I didn’t think I needed Jesus in my life,” Jennifer recalls. “I never owned a Bible, never read one, never made any attempt to understand God, His character, His work, His nature. I just assumed that showing up in church every Sunday in body, not in spirit and mind, was sufficient.”

A Journey to Faith
“September 11 was the catalyst for my salvation,” Jennifer confesses. “My bitterness and anger at God [after Jim’s death] actually became proof that I still believed in God.”

After 9/11, Jennifer was forced to confront her understanding of who God really is. Now she boldly shares, “I’ve accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and consecrated my life to trusting and obeying God’s will. God made it indisputably evident to me that He is in control of my life and this world.”

Jennifer’s daily goal is to learn more and more about Jesus Christ, “… who He is, how He works, what He’s like. Once I got to know Christ [intimately], my heart burst with joy over experiencing His grace and love — and with regret for not turning to Him sooner.”

A Tower of Strength
For Jennifer, family has always been an anchor of support and strength. “Throughout the past seven years, my family has held me up and calmed me down countless times … they were (and still are) my greatest source of strength and comfort here on earth.” She shares how each family member ministered grace to her as the tragic events of 9/11 unfolded and in the ensuing days of her pilgrimage with Christ.

“My parents laid the groundwork for my unfailing belief in God,” she shares. “They stood by my side that Tuesday morning when my life changed forever, and they remain there even now, as my life continues to change.”

Jennifer struggles to find words that adequately describe how her sister, Maria, and brother-in-law, Tom, have encouraged her. “They bought me my first Bible and invited me to their church. Their strong example of living for Christ has tremendously influenced my own walk with the Lord.”

Jennifer describes Maria as a woman of kindness and compassion whose love goes far beyond family. For Jennifer, Maria is a “true reflection of Jesus. I’ve always looked up to Maria as my big sister, but she’s been more than that in the past seven years; she has been my role model of faith.”

Jennifer’s nephews, Kevin and Brian, have had a profound impact on her life as well. “Kevin gave me my first prayer journal for Christmas, 2001. He encouraged me to write in it every day,” she recalls. That gift, Grace for the Moment Journal by Max Lucado, was a turning point for Jennifer. She continues to journal every day and confesses, “It has made a phenomenal difference in my relationship with Christ.“ 

Her other nephew, Brian, is the classic Prodigal Son, and his life story motivates Jennifer. Even though they each came to know Christ through different circumstances, they “ultimately experienced the same outcome: repentance and submission to Christ. We were baptized together at Laurelton Park Baptist Church in 2003.”

Jennifer’s brother, Anthony, is a reminder of the unfailing sufficiency of God’s grace. “Through Anthony’s recovery from a brain tumor, God provided the evidence I needed (at the time) that He can truly bring triumph out of tragedy when we trust His will for our lives,” Jennifer says. “When Anthony’s life didn’t turn out the way he planned, he relied on his deep faith and trust in Christ to carry him.”

“Anthony was always there to comfort me after 9/11,” Jennifer recalls. “I remember falling apart the night before what would have been mine and Jim’s sixth wedding anniversary. Anthony held me for hours while I cried. Simply having my big brother with me was priceless.” 

And then there’s Tarah, Anthony’s daughter. Tarah’s life of faith is a powerful testimony to Jennifer that “a strong, Christian foundation is critical to survive the curve balls life throws at us.”

After 9/11, at the young age of 9, Tarah offered Jennifer comfort through God’s Word. “I wanted to read to Aunt Jennifer from the Bible,” Tarah says. “I looked in my concordance for Scriptures about suffering and how to feel better. I found Psalm 42.”

Jennifer lights up as she describes the scene. “Tarah pulled me aside privately and read Scripture to me. [At the time], I didn’t want to hear anything about God. But I recall one of the verses from Psalm 42: Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your trust in God. Tarah tenderly planted seeds in my broken heart, which sprang forth years later. God’s Word does not return to Him empty!”

Jennifer also recognizes the vital contributions of her church family. “When I attended church with Maria and Tom for the first time, I was embraced by the entire congregation. I thank God for placing me in a church where sound doctrine is taught and where our members are closely unified as God’s family.”

Hope in the Storm
As our country approaches another 9/11 anniversary, many questions still linger. No doubt, the toughest question is, Why? Why does God allow suffering, tragedy, and difficulties in life? Why do hurricanes, heart attacks, mining disasters, cancer, and senseless accidents happen?

Jennifer is the first to admit she doesn’t have all the answers. “There are certain things God chooses not to reveal to us, either because our limited minds cannot possibly comprehend the infinite aspects of God, or [because] some things are just not necessary for us to know right now. It really comes down to accepting that God always has our best interest in mind, even when it seems like He turned His back and shut His eyes while commercial jets were used as bombs to kill thousands of innocent people. Or when it seems like He took the day off while tsunamis destroyed Southeast Asia and Category 5 hurricanes devastated the South. His apparent absence and silence can be so disturbing to us, but it’s during those times we learn to trust.”
 
Jennifer is committed to using God’s Word as a powerful weapon against trials and temptations. One of her favorite Scriptures is Isaiah 55:8-9. “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts and your ways are not My ways ... For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.’”

Jennifer could have chosen to remain bitter and angry with God after Jim’s tragic death. But she sums up her choice to follow Christ this way: “I chose to wave a white flag at the Creator of the universe. I don’t know what You’re doing in my life, Lord. I’m not happy about it one bit, but I trust You know what You’re doing. I decided to surrender and submit myself completely to God’s will. I put my life and my future in His hands ... and peace finally came.”

Facing the Future
Today, Jennifer focuses on that future and learning more about God. “Scripture has so much power; it’s absolutely life-changing. It’s the way the Creator of the universe has chosen to communicate with us — and sometimes I can’t believe that, for years, I was not interested,” Jennifer marvels. “But the Bible is the only book you read that reads you — and it changes you from the inside.” Jennifer finds tremendous satisfaction in helping others who are experiencing the same thoughts and emotions she had after 9/11. “Sometimes you need to vent to an objective, anonymous person who has been through the fire, who understands your thought process, and who can help get you back into spiritual alignment,” she adds. “I believe that’s why God brought my Web site to fruition (www.jennifersands.com) and equipped me to minister to those who reach out in their own struggles of faith.”

Jennifer offers this encouragement to others facing tragic circumstances: “God never promised our faith would protect us from pain and struggles. But He does promise He’ll give us strength and He’ll be there with us every step of the way. I can face the waves, because I know the One who created the ocean.”

Brenda Harris is the editor of HomeLife.