Move Your Teen Toward a Biblical Perspective on Sexuality

Written by Sandi Black

Sexual identity topics dominate the tabloids on many newsstands. What’s more, today’s mixed-up cultural values constantly invade Christian households. While godly parents try to “teach a youth about the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6), ungodly messages shout to teens from every angle. The home has become a major front in the battle for purity and healthy sexual identity formation. 

Distorted Messages
Well-known public figures report “coming out of the closet” in the cover stories of magazines and newspapers. Famous singers and actors promote sexual freedom and smirk at traditional family values. Couples live together outside of marriage. Television comedies affirm gay and lesbian lifestyles, while sexually explicit content dominates movies.

Teens easily “hook-up” with strangers on the Internet through social networks that sometimes accelerate a false sense of interactions and relationships. Teens are exposed to pornographic pictures and sexual messages that chisel away at Christian beliefs.

Prepare Yourself
Centuries ago, Paul warned believers about the dangers of the world’s influence on our lives. He pointed out that believers do not battle against flesh and blood but against unseen spiritual forces (Eph. 6:12). So, why are parents of teens caught off guard when the families encounter issues related to sexual identity?

In the face of an ungodly environment, parents can help. Teens may not say it, but they need and want parental attention. A common way teens cry out is to act out. As a result, parents need to be aware of what their teens are and are not saying.

Spend time with your teen. Observe what they do and ask questions. Listen to learn, not to give a lecture. Pray for the power to remain calm and to listen with love. Recently, sexual identity has become a problem with teens. Sadly, some parents reject the teens before there is any chance of healing. Remember that Jesus started by accepting people where they were. From there, he was able to lead them to a better place in loving and godly ways.

Parent Networking
Many parents are finding support through groups at churches and in homes. These groups usually meet once or twice a month to discuss ways to deal with a multitude of teen problems. Meetings can include: special speakers, panels, hands-on Internet training, parent/youth dialogs, fellowships, family meals, and prayer times. Topics covered have sometimes included: piercings, tattoos, text messaging, sexual identity problems, dating and limitations, understanding social online networking (MySpace, instant messaging, and online predators), parent/teen communication.

As you take note of the distorted sexual messages in our culture, use them as conversation starters with your teen. In the process, prepare yourself to be on guard and alert to face the mixed messages of our culture. Remember to listen more than you lecture and then find ways to fuel your tank by spending time with other parents. Your networking might save your teen as you compare notes with other parents and stand firm together against a culture of faulty sexual messages.

 

Sandi Black

Sandi Black is a licensed professional counselor. She and her husband, Wes, are co-sponsors of Parent Connection at Travis Avenue Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas.

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