Churches Striving to Make Unchurched Men Feel Welcome

Written by David Roach

GRAPEVINE, Texas (BP)--Imagine you are a man who hasn't attended a church in years. You enjoy such activities as golfing, hunting and fishing on Sunday mornings. You think it's more beneficial to spend time outdoors with a few of your closest friends than it is to be cooped up in a church building.

Now imagine that your wife has asked you to try going back to the local Southern Baptist church one more time. Do you think the average worship experience will entice you to come back?

Upon entering the service, worshippers sing what sound like sappy love songs to Jesus. The lyrics say things like, "Hold me close, let your love surround me," "Jesus, I am so in love with you" and "I'm desperate for you, I'm lost without you."

After the singing, church attendees hold hands for prayer and hear a sermon emphasizing concepts such as a "personal relationship" with Jesus, having "intimacy" with God and "sharing" their feelings with other Christians.

Finally, at the end of the service opportunities to serve in the church are announced. But these opportunities include only such things as singing in the choir, keeping the nursery, decorating bulletin boards and baking desserts for the next church potluck.

Would you, an unchurched man, find a church like this appealing and comfortable?

If you said no, you're not alone. Increasingly, men are not involved in church.

The U.S. Congregational Life Survey says that while the U.S. population is split almost evenly between men and women, only 39 percent of all churchgoers are men. Referring to Americans in the mid-1990s, pollster George Barna wrote that "women are twice as likely to attend a church service during any given week. Women are also 50 percent more likely than men to say they are 'religious' and to state that they are 'absolutely committed' to the Christian faith."

Lance Crowell, a church ministries associate with the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention (SBTC), said the story is not much different across the Lone Star State.

"Even though there are men attending church, more women are connected to their churches at a level beyond mere Sunday morning attendance," Crowell, who oversees men's ministry for the SBTC, said. "Men are not coming at the same rate as women, but even beyond that a large percentage of those who are coming are not truly connecting, serving, and especially not leading."

Many churches, Crowell said, do not realize their ministry style caters almost exclusively to women. But Baptists must reprioritize to reach men and, in turn, transform the church, he said.

"Several leaders in men's ministry have noted how so many churches have catered to women in their style, look and programming," he said. "This is largely because the ones who care the most in the church are often the women. We need to help churches, leaders and, of course, men, see that they are the first step in changing our churches and making a difference in the community."

Men's Fraternity provides one avenue for addressing topics of particular interest to men. Available from LifeWay Christian Resources, the curriculum draws the work of Little Rock pastor Robert Lewis, offering three year-long studies.

At least some Texas churches are catering to the unique needs and personalities of men, with the goal of reaching them with the Gospel and then discipling them.

Buddy Griffin, minister of men and prayer at Sagemont Church in Houston, said portraying Christianity as weak or unmanly misrepresents Scripture, and his church has designed a program that trains hundreds of men each year to be disciples of Christ.

Sagemont strives to gear evangelism and discipleship programs uniquely to men. The church started a Men's Fraternity program three years ago that has ballooned to more than 700 participants. A recent fishing tournament was designed to reach lost men and served as an entry point through which at least one lost man started attending the church regularly. Sagemont has even decorated its men's restrooms according to themes that might interest some men -- including bass fishing, duck hunting and golf.

Sagemont currently has an average worship attendance that is 55 percent women and 45 percent men. But Griffin, who has worked with the SBTC to help other churches grow their men's ministries, has a goal of reducing that gap each year until worship attendance is 51 percent male in 2014. Other goals include filling 70 percent of church leadership positions with men and matching 95 percent of the congregation's fatherless boys with a man for mentorship.

Rodney Thompson, a layman at First Baptist Church in Katy, Texas, emphasized that a top-notch men's ministry is not only for mega-churches like Sagemont that have a full-time minister for men. First Baptist, which averages approximately 1,000 in worship, began a Men's Fraternity program last year and plans to begin the program's second year this fall. Additionally, the church holds a weekly morning men's prayer time.

Thompson, who serves on the men's ministry leadership team at First Baptist, said the key to reaching and discipling men at smaller churches is the pastor and other staff members. If men see staff members who have a strong work ethic, it will motivate them to join the work of ministry as well.

When men see ministerial staff "doing more than just the normal doing the announcements during the service and leading the music" and "not sitting behind the desk," they will be motivated to make extra effort in church activities themselves, he said.

Glenview Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas, also has focused much of its men's ministry effort in a Men's Fraternity program. The church, which averages 1,500 in worship, has completed two years of Men's Fraternity, averaging approximately 125 men each year.

"I never have seen anything that really has impacted men and their families like this," said Jim Kendrick, Glenview's associate pastor for pastoral care ministries. "The pastor is constantly having wives saying, 'That's one of the best things you've ever done to bring the Men's Fraternity in.'"

In addition to Men's Fraternity, the church tries to make sure some of the congregation's décor is friendly to men. When a deacon recently enlisted his wife to help decorate the men's ministry bulletin board, Kendrick objected, telling the deacon the bulletin board needed to be designed by a man.

"I said, 'I don't want a men's bulletin board that looks like females (designed it). We want people to look at that and know it's a man's bulletin board,'" Kendrick said.

Glenview also hosts men's movie nights. At a recent movie night men ate hamburgers and watched "Facing the Giants."

Reaching men has not been limited to larger churches. Ridgewood Baptist Church in Port Arthur, Texas, averages 180 in worship and has launched a thriving men's ministry. Ridgewood offers Men's Fraternity as one option in its Sunday night program of classes, and it plans beginning in August to hold Men's Encouragement Nights in homes periodically. The encouragement nights will involve men and their sons and include a challenge for men to live out God's calling on their lives.

Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano, Texas, has adopted a multifaceted approach to men's ministry. A Bible study at 6:30 each Friday morning that reaches 400-700 men weekly, men's small groups and a mentoring program known as Project Timothy make up the discipleship aspect of the church's men's ministry.

An annual sportsman's feast along with regular service opportunities outside the church walls are among the most important evangelistic ministries for men at Prestonwood.

"Our sportsman's feast is designed as outreach," said Bill Borinstein, Prestonwood's minister of spiritual development. "We challenge our guys to buy a table and fill it up with unchurched men. Last year we had 1,400 men come to that. Each year we've had it, we've had numbers of salvations and rededications and commitments."

"We feel like when we start challenging people, we're going to push them away," he said of typical men's ministries. "But I think the exact opposite happens."

David Roach is a freelance writer in Louisville, Ky. This story first appeared in the Southern Baptist Texan, online at www.texanonline.net.

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