6 Ways to Help an Adult Child Face a Crisis

Written by Pam Keith

This article is courtesy of Mature Living.

At age 45, I learned that I have thyroid cancer. I'll never forget the phone call when the surgeon told me the tumor was malignant. As my husband and I stood together, thinking about what we had heard, I first thought of how my girls would respond to the news. Then I thought of my mom.

Over the next few months, Mom helped me in many ways. And that's what I want to share with you. What can a parent do to help an adult child who is faced with a crisis? Here are some suggestions for helping your child through a surgery or serious illness.

Be there. I underwent two surgeries. Both times, Mom came to stay with me, and her presence meant more than anything. The old saying "I can't be with you in body, so I'll be with you in spirit" just doesn't pan out. If possible, go to be with your son or daughter.

Listen. Most parents, it seems, are full of good advice that they're anxious to share. Right? Well, hold off for a while. During the toughest part of my treatment, I longed for listening ears. Along with other friends and family members, Mom was there for me, and because she stayed with me, she heard both the good and bad.

Allow your child to grieve. Parents want to make things right for their children, but some things are out of both the parents' and the child's control. Your child's situation can't always be fixed. Grief is a natural part of serious illness and dealing with grief may require talking it out. Allow your patient to talk without assuming responsibility for fixing the problem.

Meet physical needs. Understand that it is hard for your child to patiently sit back and watch things happening, but it is necessary. During those times, you can help by doing what needs to be done. In my case, Mom helped with the laundry, prepared meals, washed the dishes, listened to my daughter read, and whatever else was called for.

Encourage your child to contribute. As healing progresses, allow your child to begin to take on some responsibilities. Remember that part of the recovery process is healing of the mind. Help keep his or her mind occupied with simple tasks to avoid the depression that often accompanies serious illness.

Pray. The greatest gift you can give to someone who is sick is prayer. Pray for each step of the way. Pray for what you do and what is happening to the patient. And be thankful for every success along the way.

Pam Keith is a mother of two daughters, Leslie and Mei Mei. The Keith family attends First Baptist Church, Rockwall, Texas, where Pam's husband, Sean, is on staff.

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