When Your Child Wants to Quit

Written by Tammy Darling

This article provided courtesy of ParentLife.

You bought the equipment. You paid for the lessons. Now your child wants to quit – what do you do? Many opportunities to give up will present themselves to your child. Even if there is no financial investment to be considered, you should think twice before allowing your child to call if quits.

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Quitting may seem reasonable at times, but it is not always best. Even Jesus struggled when faced with the cross. Knowing what was to come, He asked His Father to let the cup pass from Him according to God’s will (Matthew 26:39). Thankfully He did not quit! Quitting may relieve the pressure, but it also deprives your child of the opportunity to develop persistence, faithfulness, endurance, and humility.

Quit or Tough it Out?
How do you decide if your child should quit or tough it out? Try the following:

• Weigh the pros and cons. Make a list of the reasons why quitting would be beneficial versus why it might be detrimental. Sometimes putting it all on paper helps make the answer clear.

• Check your motives. If you are adamant that your child should not quit, check your reasons why. Many parents secretly are afraid it will make them look bad. Perhaps they are living out their own dreams through their children and do not want to see it end. Or maybe the concern is the financial investment involved. It is just as important to know your own reasons for wanting your child to continue as it is for wanting to quit.

• Explore your child’s motives. Ask your child to explain why she wants to quit. This is a great opportunity to learn what your child is thinking and feeling. Listen with concern and never belittle your child’s thoughts and feelings. If she uses words such as bored, hard, or uninteresting, ask her to explain why. These words may not be the real reason behind her desire to quit. Boredom is not a good reason for giving up. Exceptions include coaches, instructors, or teammates who are hostile, abusive, or use foul language.

Often a child wants to quit simply because she discovers she is not good at the skill or activity. This is definitely a time to make her stick with it. She will likely learn a valuable lesson by following through, even if she does not enjoy it. It is not good for parents to bail their children out of every difficulty they face. Instead, be your child’s biggest supporter and encourager. Love her unconditionally no matter how she performs. Do not force her to sign up again next year, but make her finish the current year. If your child persists when she would rather quit, she learns to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones. Perhaps she may realize all she needs is to change her attitude, focus more, or try harder.  “Whatever your hands find to do, do with all your strength.” (Ecclesiastes 9:10).

• Use God’s Word. When your child is faced with an overwhelming challenge, go with her to the Word of God.  Scripture contains a plethora of verses on perseverance, courage, and determination that will greatly benefit your child.

“Do you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Now everyone who competes exercises self-control in everything. However, they do it to receive a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one. Therefore I do not run like one who beats the air. Instead, I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). Remind your child that all she does should be for the glory of God. In other words, she should always do her best for God. Perhaps it will even give her an opportunity to share Christ with others. There is no better reason to stick with it!

Tammy Darling is a freelance writer from Three Springs, Pennsylvania. She and her husband, Ralph, are the parents of two daughters.