Setting Healthy Boundaries

Written by Branda Polk

This article is courtesy of Living with Teenagers.

She had done it again. Our little spotted dog, Snoopy, had found a way out of the fenced backyard of our new house. She was running around the neighborhood with no regard for our calls and commands to come home. Didn’t she know there was a very busy street just around the corner? Didn’t she know she was too small for most drivers to see? Didn’t she know that the neighborhood street was not a safe place to bolt and run? She obviously didn’t know or care. 

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Snoopy was completely unaware of the dangers outside the fence. The fence was there to protect her from what I knew would harm her. After all, I was aware of the dangers. I had been there and seen the consequences for other dogs that didn’t stay at home. The fence around the backyard marked the boundary between safety and danger. I wanted her to stay in the fence because I care for her.

After catching Snoopy and bringing her home unharmed, this time, I thought about the importance of establishing boundaries related to protecting and enhancing good health. Are nutritional boundaries really that important? Is it really necessary to establish healthy boundaries for children to help them grow-up? Aren’t boundaries restrictive and harmful? Won’t boundaries encourage teens to rebel? Or can boundaries show how much we love and care for ourselves and our family? Boundaries are the dividing lines between what is good, safe, and acceptable and what is harmful and destructive. Setting healthy boundaries in your home for yourself and your maturing teen is vital to establish long-term healthy habits and a healthier future.

Some Alarming Facts
According to Dr. William Dietz, Director, Division of Nutrition and Physical Activity, in his testimony before the House Government Reform Committee said, “In the last 20 years, obesity rates have increased by more than 60 percent in adults. Since 1980, rates have doubled in children and tripled in adolescents. More than 25 percent of the adult population in the United States is obese, or approximately 50 million adults. Almost 15 percent of our children and adolescents are overweight, or approximately eight million youth.”1 The impact of childhood and teen obesity is taking a toll on these kids. More overweight and obese teens are diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, a disease once thought to only affect adults. The increase in weight has also led to increases in risk factors for cardiovascular disease. Children as young as 10 years old are now being diagnosed with high cholesterol and/or high blood pressure due to weight issues. Overweight teens face struggles of relating to other teens. Many are teased and ridiculed because of their weight. Many overweight teens begin to withdraw from social interaction. The issue of their weight consumes their thoughts and can lead them to try destructive behaviors and habits and, in severe cases, suicide.

Healthy Family Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is one way parents can show their teens how much they care about their present and long-term well being. Boundaries are something you are already familiar with. You established safety boundaries early in life. You would never dream of allowing a toddler to cross the street alone. But, when safety is not the primary concern, setting healthy boundaries for your family can be a challenging obstacle if you are not fully equipped with knowledge about good health practices or you have never considered health boundaries as being that important. Here are a few options that may help you get started with setting health habit boundaries in your home. If this is new for your family, begin slowly with one or two and gradually build on the sturdy health foundation that you are forming.

1. Eat together at home. Studies show that when families eat at home and all together the likelihood of healthier choices increases. Eating on the run in fast food restaurants encourages poor choices and tells teens that the meal time is not important. Establish a dinner time routine that includes everyone. As schedules begin to conflict with older teens, be flexible with the time, but still require their presence and participation at the meal. As you eat together, parents can model good food choices, provide balanced meals, and communicate with teens. Teens need this connection and stability as a daily tradition.

2. Provide healthy food options for snacking. Teens face junk food everywhere they go. Schools provide it in vending machines and even in the available lunch menu. Parents can accomplish a balance of food options by limiting the junk food availability at home. If your family regularly consumes chips, cookies, ice cream, candy, and highly processed foods, begin slowly by eliminating one item at a time and replacing it with healthy snack options like low-fat flavored yogurt, fruit, pretzels, string cheese, and peanut butter crackers. Teens will eat what is available and “free” at home. Save the junk foods for special occasions.

3. Develop a taste for food variety. Tastes for food change as children grow up. A certain food that your teen may not have liked at 10 may not be so bad now. Encourage them to try different foods with different flavors and textures. Parents should partner with each other to avoid negative responses to new foods. Explore healthy cookbooks and Web sites for recipes that include vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, and less fat. Encourage your teen to get involved in the meal planning and preparation process. Allowing input in food choices gives ownership and reduces complaints.

4. Get active together. Food is just one portion of setting healthy boundaries in your home. Physical activity is also a vital link to good health. Many teens today do very little activity throughout the day unless they are specifically involved in an after school sport. Break the habit of coming home and flopping on the couch by getting the family involved in activity together. Consider biking, roller-blading, walking, hiking, or joining a health club or community center that offers a variety of activities for the whole family.

5. Turn off the technology. Nothing zaps your energy without using your body and consumes valuable time more than all the technology available today. Set limits on computer games, the Internet, and TV time. Encourage conversation, physical activity, and other more productive options. 

To effectively set these healthy boundaries in the home, parents must be willing to set the example and lead out with healthy habits themselves. Establishing healthy boundaries for yourself and your teen proves that you respect the person God created you to be and love the person God created your teen to be. As you set these boundaries talk to your teen about the changes. Share that you are helping to prepare them for a healthy adulthood by assisting them in making good choices now.

1The Center for Disease Control and Prevention Web site http://www.cdc.gov/washington/testimony/pa072502.htm

Branda Polk, B.S. Exercise Science, is a certified personal trainer, wellness coach, conference speaker and health writer in Lebanon, Tennessee. Sign up for Branda's newsletter, Wellness Connection, to receive encouragement and coaching in the areas of nutrition, exercise, and stress relief. Follow Branda on Twitter.