How to Start Parent Support Groups

Written by Nic Natale

Many parents struggle facing difficulties with their teens - both due to the fact that most of these situations are first-time experiences and because parents feel they are alone in facing them. You can help support the parents of your students who are facing difficult situations in the lives of their teenagers by providing Parent Discovery support groups. Here's how you can start today...

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STARTING PARENT DISCOVERY GROUPS
Success of these groups largely depends on the organizational concerns that need to be addressed before the group ever begins. Whether your church has an existing structure of small groups or not, here are a few pointers to help you get started with this group. Many of the issues here come from the "LIFE Support Leaders Handbook: Your Church's Lifeline to Hurting People." Download this free resource here (1.16mb PDF)

• Begin praying for the group. Ask the Lord's will for the group, and pray He will lead you and participants through its formation and ministry.
  
  
• Provide structure for the group. Attendance should be limited to eight to 10 persons. If the group is too big, it will lose its sense of intimacy or prevent group members from having enough discussion/sharing time. Make sure you offer consistent meetings depending on participants' time availability.
  
  You will also want to consider whether the group will be open or closed. The style chosen will affect the dynamics of the group. An open group allows membership to change, offering newness in the discussions and insights and larger numbers in the meeting. However, a closed group offers a chance for greater closeness and intimacy through sharing and encouragement.
  
  
• The leader or facilitator chosen for the group is perhaps the most important decision to be made. His or her characteristics determine the group's effectiveness. The leader should be trained in group dynamics, especially in knowing when it's appropriate to refer a group member for professional counseling.

In his book "How to Get Along with Almost Anyone," author Norman Wright presents three basic qualities: genuineness, nonpossessive love and empathy. These characteristics are needed in an effective discovery group leader.

Genuineness is the ability to become transparent to others. Genuine people do not wear masks or put up fronts. By being genuine in the group, the leader will model the openness he/she is trying to encourage within group members.

Nonposessive love is the ability to distinguish between the person and the person's actions. Though the leader may not approve of the choice or actions a member takes, love and acceptance of the person continues in spite of the choices he/she makes.

Empathy is the ability to understand and support another person by viewing the situation through the thoughts and feelings of that person.

Begin the search for a leader by identifying these characteristics in potential leaders. Be careful about having the youth minister serve as the leader of the discovery group. Parents may not feel comfortable having the youth minister (especially if he doesn't have teenagers of his own) as the group leader. A better choice may be a mature adult who has children beyond or close to the teenage years.

Actual group time can be divided into parts, as outlined in the "LIFE Support Leaders Handbook:"

• The opening covers a welcome and pre-meeting issues.
  
  
• Sharing time allows people to express what is happening in their lives. At first, members may not share much, but as members get to know one another, the share time will become more important and powerful to the individuals.
  
  
• Prayer is the next stage. It can be a simple prayer for the group or one for specific requests.
  
  
• Discussion focuses on a specific topic, which could come from a book that the group is reading, for example. Many good resources that deal with teen parenting issues are available. One of the leader's roles is to guide the group to apply the discussion into their own situation. Without application, group members likely will not feel a sense of accomplishment from their last time together.
  
  
• Closing should be at an agreed-upon time.

A teen parent discovery group has great potential in helping parents who struggle during their children's teenage years. Youth ministry can be a source of strength as it comes alongside the parent as allies-helping parents instead of competing for their teens' time and the parents' money. Support groups can be the mechanism for the help these parents need.

Nic Natale is the Pastor of Spiritual Growth & Leadership at Second Baptist church, Lancaster, SC.