7 Coping Strategies for Single Parents

Written by Richard E. Dodge

Like it or not, life is not always fair. Marriages are dissolving. Death is stealing a mother or father from a family. The result is a growing number of single-parent families, all needing our help.

One of the most important resources a single parent - whether new or having been one for some time - needs is a support structure, a group of adults who can help her deal with the mountain of adjustments she will face.

Help for single parents begins with friends who can help deal with finding a job if necessary, caring for children occasionally, and helping with other needs as appropriate. But every class also can help single parents resolve some questions they face as they wrestle with the changes ahead. Consider these tips for single parents.

Accept reality. The family has disintegrated. The papers are signed. Now life goes on, but on a different path. Accepting the reality of raising a family alone cannot be postponed.

Handle emotions. We cannot deny emotions for very long without emotional damage, either to ourselves or our children. Encourage appropriate expression of emotions and help single parents work through their feelings. Leaders and members can develop listening skills that can help single adults work through emotions.

Encourage children to express emotions. Emotions often are expressed through disruptive actions or other behaviors that reflect personal struggle. Single parents need to talk with their children about their feelings and let children know it’s okay to express our emotions.

Establish boundaries. Behavior will change for everyone when families are broken. Children need structure now more than they needed it with both parents in the home. Structure provides security. Adults also need to establish boundaries for themselves, learning to set aside time for their children and for themselves. Whatever it takes, single parents must spend time - quantity as well as quality - with their children.

Let go of guilt. Each of us wrestles with the “What-If Syndrome.” We second guess what we might have done differently. Guilt robs us of recovery as well as our ability to be good parents. Guilt leads to destructive behavior and feelings if it is not handled.

Have some fun. Find something fun to do each week, even if you have to put it on your calendar. Find ways to be happy. Often happiness grows out of investing ourselves in others or through mission projects.

Establish support groups. Be careful that these don’t become arenas for reliving war stories or pity parties. Groups need a leader who helps adults cope with reality. Preferably the leader has some background in counseling or support group leadership.

Christ loves each of us, and can be especially close in times of family conflict or crisis if we will allow Him to be in our lives. Our task as adults is to help others cope with the realities of life. We cannot claim the name of Christ if we cannot demonstrate the love of Christ. Extending our lives to help single parents is one way to model the love and compassion of Jesus.

Related Articles: