Why I Don't Make New Year's Resolutions

Written by Evelyn Rhodes Smith

This article is courtesy of Mature Living magazine

Hoping to become a better person, I faithfully made New Year’s resolutions for several years – usually with less than satisfactory results. Each year brought discouragement because by the time Valentine’s Day arrived, I had either forgotten or had already broken my sincerely made commitments.

Eventually, I realized becoming the person I wanted to be was going to take a long time. Making and breaking resolutions was not the solution. How do I begin this life-changing process? I wondered. I finally decided being honest with myself and facing up to my shortcomings might produce better results.

By age 50, I had settled comfortably into my “rules to live by.” Sorting out my life commitments was a painful process, but these work for me.

I accept the fact that I am not perfect. I no longer compare myself to the best that others can do, but to the best I can do. While my background has much to do with who I am today, I know I must accept responsibility for what I have become. The unique talents that were mine from birth could, if used properly, bring maturity, but never perfection. Striving for it will only bring misery to me and those around me. The apostle Paul’s advice gave me great encouragement: “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended … I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14).

Instead of perfection as my goal, I determined to be trustworthy. I keep the promises I make and let my word be my bond. I guard friendships, realizing that what has taken years to build up can be destroyed in seconds. Aiming for integrity has brought me the self-esteem I so desperately needed. “To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou can’st not then be false to any man,” noted Shakespeare. Job’s plea is mine as well, “Let me be weighed in an even balance, that God may know mine integrity” (Job 31:6).

As much as I would like it to be otherwise, I accept that not everyone is going to like me. In spite of how much I care for some folk, they won’t care back. Instead, I have learned to respect everyone I meet and to value their presence in my life. In forgiving people who have hurt me, I learned how to forgive myself when I fall victim to my many shortcomings. I resolved to be myself at all times with no pretense, lest someone say, “Be careful, she is different when you get to know her.”

I stamp the word "mine" on as few as possible of the material blessings I have received. After all, they belong to me only temporarily, for I cannot take them with me into eternity.

I know it is not what I have in my life that counts. Our Lord has warned us that where our treasure is, there our heart will be also. The people I know and have fellowship with bring me the most contentment. Good friends add more dimension to my life than material possessions ever could.

I will not become the object of my own admiration. This was another area that needed working on as I traveled the path to maturity. Remembering the roots from which I’ve grown keeps me from thinking too highly of myself. Instead, my goal is to let others evaluate me while I try to give them every benefit of the doubt. I took to heart the words of the writer of Proverbs 3:7: “Be not wise in thine own eyes.”

Putting others first allows me to praise my friends freely for their accomplishments, relieving me of the stress brought by trying to compete with them. Learning from and enjoying friends is more fun than striving to make myself the center of attention.

Finally, I try to live my life hilariously. Each day begins as a blank page upon which I can write a new adventure. I want to fill my diary with praise to God and my friends, thankful for every blessing that comes my way. As much as is possible, I strive to live life to its fullest by praising the Lord, as the psalmist declared in Psalm 146:1–2.

Have I arrived? Certainly not. But aiming for maturity is one of the joys of life. Looking forward to more changes and growth keeps one young. The journey may be hazardous, but it can be traveled with a measure of success, when you take along some good biblical principles. Be sure to add a little hilarity along the way. “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6).

Evelyn Rhodes Smith is a retired lab technician in Charleston, West Virginia. A few of her many hobbies are bird watching, photography, and freelance writing.

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