9 Ways to Improve Listening Skills
People today hunger for someone to offer a listening ear. Life today moves at a stunning pace, leaving most of us tired and unable to really hear what others are trying to tell us. Our behavior can be a real hindrance to effective listening. Here are some simple tips that can help you avoid behaviors that block communication with others.
Slow down. No one has time to waste. Work, family, and church demands alone consume large amounts of time, not to mention the social and school organizations that challenge us to give time to their causes. Give listening a priority in your relationships with others.
Avoid distractions. Get away from things that catch your attention. Turn off the television or radio. Find someone to take care of the children for a few minutes, and so forth.
Look interested. The expressions on your face reveal your interest level both in the person and the message. Looking uninterested can discourage people from sharing their true feelings with you.
Focus! Mental overload and personal concerns cannot be set aside easily. Be conscious of what’s happening in your own mind. If you feel tired and stressed, be aware of this so you can stay focused.
Stay on track. Too often we let ourselves think ahead of the person, planning what we might say or what we think the other person will say next. Avoid missing a question or thought while thinking ahead.
Be honest. Sometimes you just can’t stop what you’re doing to be an active listener. Unless the situation is clearly an emergency, be honest with the person who wants to talk with you. Express your concern right now that you want to hear what the person has to say, but that you cannot give that person the kind of attention he or she deserves. Invite the person to come to your home or go to that person’s home that evening.
Be a friend, not a therapist. Your are not a paid professional. Take an interest in the person and all that he or she is doing. Determine what impact the concerns have on the person’s life and how you can respond most appropriately.
Be an encourager. Don’t let the listening session become a pity party. While good listeners never minimize how someone feels, good listeners try to find opportunities to affirm others and encourage positive attitudes.
Be realistic. Know when you’re over your head. Good listening skills include knowing when someone needs more help than you can give. Sometimes the best solution is to ask the person to allow you to find someone who can offer more effective - generally meaning professional - help related to critical concerns. If you hear hints of suicidal thoughts, take the person to someone who can address these concerns immediately.
Life moves more at light speed than just fast. Unfortunately we’re so busy we can’t see the impact this has on relationships. As the pace increases, people need others who will listen, and listening can open doors to sharing the gospel. Are you hearing what I’m trying to say?
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