The Battle to Keep Our Kids Safe

Written by Rod Janz

The battle to keep our kids safe while they use the Internet and e-mail programs is ongoing. Several studies have been released lately concerning the possible danger of kids stumbling across inappropriate material as they use the Internet and e-mail. Despite the dangers, the Internet can be a valuable tool for educating and entertaining children. There are ways to keep kids safe from inappropriate material, but as parents we need to be proactive about it. Two of the best ways to keep our kids safe while they use the Internet is for parents to participate in our children’s Internet use and to use websites and e-mail programs with built-in parent controls and children’s safety features.

Let’s assume we are going to allow your kids to go online without a filter. There are lots of ways to keep our kids safe and build relationships with them at the same time, so let's discuss a few of them. 

Talk to your kids! I am continually amazed at the number of parents that have no clue what their kids are doing on the Internet and don’t do anything about it. As a parent I think it’s okay for parents to be a little snoopy and ask questions once and while. They are our kids and it’s our job to train them, protect them and prepare them for the future. Not only that, the computer and the Internet can become a very positive tool if it helps us to develop a deeper relationship with our children by the very fact that we are interested in what they are doing, helping them set boundaries, and spending time with them. Communication is one of the keys to Internet safety.

If our kids are using one of the popular messenger services, we need to ask them occasionally, “Who are you talking to?” Also, my wife and I try to look at the screen names of our kid’s friends and our own kid’s screen names from time to time. One day we noticed that one of our daughters had a friend who had a very obscene screen name, so we asked our daughter to take this person off her messenger list. Our daughter resisted a little because she didn’t want to offend her friend, but in the end she made the change. The girl with the obscene screen name was 11 years old, and we were amazed that she even knew what her obscene screen name meant.

If we don’t know, or understand what it is our kids are doing on the computer, we can sit down and ask them to show us how to play, or use their favorite programs. In addition to keeping our kids safe and accountable, it is another way for us to spend time with them.

To keep our kids accountable we can ask them once in a while if they have seen or done anything on the net that is inappropriate, or seen anything by mistake that made them feel uncomfortable. As our kids get a little older, starting at eight or nine years old, we can ask them if their friends chat with adults they don’t know, view pornography, or if they know of anyone in their age group who has. This will help us to stay in touch with what’s going on at our child’s age level and will give us a read on what our own kids are up too. Most parents can tell if their kids are telling the truth or not.

We need to discuss with our kids what to do if pornography pops up. Also, we need to tell them to never give out personal information and discuss with them what personal information is. The best plan may be for our kids to leave the computer and go and find an adult if they encounter pornography or if someone starts to ask them improper questions. 

Put time limits on the amount of time your kids can spend on the computer. If our kids are blurry eyed because they have been on the computer all day long, we can make them take a break. In the long run over use of anything like TV and the computer is not good for children. Our kids need to be outside playing, doing homework, reading books, talking to you and their friends, learning to play a musical instrument, and having fun away from the computer as much as possible.

Put your computer in a public place in your home. Our computer is in our family room with the screen facing out toward the room. I think this helps everyone in the family stay accountable. It is one of the busiest rooms in the house and who ever is using the computer never knows when someone might walk into the room. With our computer in a room where my wife and I are walking through all the time it’s easy for us to keep tabs on the kids while they use the computer and to casually ask what website they are looking at, or who they are talking to while they use their favorite messenger service.

Use Sites and Programs with Parent Controls. You might have noticed that both AOL and MSN have been advertising parent controls that are designed to keep kids safe while they use the Internet. MSN 8, for example, has age based content settings where a parent can block certain categories of sites like “gambling,” or “pornography.” (Good for adults too!) MSN 8 also allows you to create a weekly activity report of sites visited.

LifeWay has partnered with At Promise Inc. to create a subscription based website for kids called KidZap. KidZap has six different parent controls and a closed browser system, so that when kids use the KidZap site they are kept from accessing the rest of the Internet. KidZap also has a Spam free e-mail program and Christian content. Parents can have three, safe, KidZap e-mail accounts for $7.95 a month. KidZap opened in February 2003. For more information, go to www.lifeway.kidzap.com.

In a future article we’ll discuss filters and other things parents can do to protect their children while they use the Internet. Stay tuned!

Rod Janz is Vice-President of At Promise Inc. He is a graduate of the University of British Columbia in Canada and is a successful entrepreneur. Rod has over 20 years experience working with children, teens and grown-ups in various capacities as a pastor, summer camp worker and coach.

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