24 Hour Counselor: I'm Failing at School

Hi. I'm John, and I'm glad you came to this site. You are having some problems in school right now. I hope our talk with Dr. Wade Rowatt will help you. Wade is a professor at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.

We all have our problems at school, but Wade, what causes a person to fail?

Wade: Well, that simple question has a very complicated answer. There are many things that cause a person not to do well in school, but the number one reason is something inside the person.

The first and most important step in doing better in school is deciding that you want to do better. You must believe that you can do something about your grades, especially with God's help. Once you have made that decision, then many things can happen. You can begin by deciding to change yourself.

John: Why should a person want to do better in school in the first place? I know that it's important to most parents, but teenagers don't always see a reason.

Wade: The most important reason for doing well is that school is equipping you for life. It's for your own future. If you do well in school, you will have tools to do well in life. I recently heard that most students who don't finish high school wind up in poverty or in jail. For getting ahead in life, it takes college or special training.

There are other reasons, too. One is to become a wise person. Some people rebel against their parents by doing poorly in school, but they are really just hurting themselves. The Bible is filled with encouragement to pursue wisdom. For example, in Proverbs 8:10-11 we receive some instruction: "Accept my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than pure gold. For wisdom is better than precious stones, and nothing desirable can compare with it" (HCSB).¹

John: What turned you on to school?

Wade: I remember a teacher that shared something that I am sure she read in a book. The quote goes:

"A person who knows not and knows not that they know not is dangerous. Avoid them. A person who knows not and knows that they know not is a fool. Teach them. A person who knows but knows not that they know is asleep. Awaken them. A person who knows and knows that they know has wisdom. Know them."

I didn't want to be the person who knows not and knows that he knows not. The goal is to have knowledge and to know that you have knowledge.

John: Sometimes I know stuff, but I just can't figure out the questions on the test.

Wade: That's common, John. There are different levels of knowledge and wisdom. You might be able to remember something, and that's knowing it at one level. But a deeper level is to understand it. And an even deeper level is to remember and understand things, then actually use that knowledge to solve problems.

John: Suppose a person really wants to do well in school, and he is convinced of the need for wisdom and understanding and all that stuff. Maybe he even used to do well in school. You haven’t told me what keeps him from doing as good as he could do now.

Wade: I suppose there are several things that need to be checked out. First of all, I would ask if he has an acceptable study place and good study habits. Does he have a well-lighted, quiet place to study? A desk, even the kitchen table when no one else is in the room, will do. And does he have a time set aside to study? It would be best to have a time set aside every day.

Does he have an assignment notebook where he has written down each of the assignments for each of his classes? Does he have a study calendar where long-range projects are marked and can be prepared for in advance? Does he have the necessary tools, the books, the dictionaries, the calculators, and any other materials that are needed? If he has all of these things, then the next thing to check for, of course, is self-discipline.

John: What do you mean by discipline? Isn't that what happens to you at school?

Wade: That's external discipline. I'm talking about the ability to do what you decide to do. Discipline is also internal control. It's the ability to sit yourself down to study and then avoid distractions and keep studying. One way to test your discipline is the "munchy food test."

John: What's that?

Wade: Well, take your favorite munchy food, popcorn or potato chips or cookies, and place a bowl of them in front of you. And then discipline yourself to take only one bite every 60 seconds. If you can discipline yourself to take one bite every 60 seconds, say for 15 minutes, then you probably have the self-control to sit there and study.

John: What happens when you just sit in class and can't concentrate and can't pay attention to what's going on? School seems to go by so slowly. It's just boring.

Wade: A couple of things could be happening when that is going on. You could be suffering from what is called Attention Deficit Disorder. That could mean that the chemicals in your body are imbalanced to the point that you simply cannot concentrate for long periods of time. This could be helped with certain forms of medication, but you should see a psychologist and a physician. That's only a very small percentage of cases.

More likely, something else is going on. It could be that you are under a lot of emotional stress. You can't concentrate for very long because as soon as you are quiet, the problems begin to pop into your head. People get worried about something and can't get it off their minds. There are many family problems that could create so much emotional stress that a person just can't concentrate.

John: What about the loss of a girlfriend or boyfriend? How do you keep your concentration after breaking up with somebody?

Wade: That's a real problem for some people, John. When you break up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, you definitely can have a grief reaction. Breaking up a dating relationship often does spill over into school problems. Find a time outside of school to talk out those hurt, angry feelings with an adult you respect.

John: How do I keep my concentration when I want to ask someone out and she is in that same class?

Wade: Tell yourself that you'll talk to her right after class or at lunch break or after school. Then focus back on the class. Class time is for learning.

John: Suppose a person is not worried about something. He can concentrate, but just can't understand the material. What is going on then?

Wade: It could be several things. The first thought that pops into my mind is the material is too difficult. If so, what he needs to do is talk with his school counselor about being placed in either different classes or with a different teacher and a different level of difficulty. If that is not possible, then he can talk with his teacher and ask for some special help, such as getting a tutor.

Second, for some students, the material is so easy they think they can learn it without studying. They underestimate the difficulty of the exams and, therefore, they do poorly. And sometimes they can't understand the material because of what is called "learned hopelessness." That is, they believe something like, "I'm not good in English"; or "I never did understand math." They are basically like the little train that said, "I think I can't. I think I can't. I think I can't."

They need to have a sense of belief in themselves, in their ability, and become the little train that "thinks they can." When they believe in themselves, they will understand more easily.

John: How can teenagers do all the things they have to do and still make good grades? You have to have money. Maybe you want a car after you start dating. Then you take a job. You have got to have some time to be around your friends, and maybe you want to be in a band or play on a ball team. How can you expect to make good grades and do all those things?

Wade: You have to set some priorities. One study indicated that teenagers who work more than 10 hours a week had a significant drop in their grades during that semester. If you have a longer job, you are probably not getting enough rest. You certainly won't have enough time for adequate study. You really need to study 30 minutes or so on every subject, and two or three hours every night if you want to do your very best in school. You can't do everything.

John: But if I did that, I wouldn't have any time for my friends or for doing other stuff.

Wade: Well, if your friends were studying, you could have time for your friends because you could plan around the study time. I know there is a lot of peer pressure to play around. Sometimes youth who study a  lot are teased or called unkind names. But you know what these people are called after graduation?

John: No. What?

Wade: They are called your boss, John. Those teens who study now and work hard are the ones who will get the better jobs later on.

John: You can't just stay at home and have no fun and study all the time.

Wade: No. I’m not suggesting that. You set some priorities. Pick maybe one sport at a time or one outside activity. Then have some time for a friend. If you are dating, you are not going to have a lot of time for special plans, but plan your dates around your study time, not your study time around your play time.

John: That sounds so hard and boring.

Wade: It is hard, but if you want to make better grades, you have to pay a price. You don't want to continue failing, do you? If you are satisfied with only passing grades, you can probably study an hour or so every night and still have plenty of time for other activities. It doesn't take a lot of time to make passing grades if you use that time wisely and set your priorities.

John: Suppose it just seems hopeless. A person decides to use his time wisely and he sets up a schedule. What if he is already so far behind at school there is just no way he will catch up? He just doesn’t understand the material.

Wade: He needs to ask for help. He can begin by going to each of his teachers and telling them about his decision to try to make better grades. If the teachers know he is really trying, they will find a way to help him. He might even want to talk to his school counselor or the principal to see if he needs to change classes. But he needs to do something positive to get a fresh start.

John: Should a person tell his parents?

Wade: Of course. They will be willing to help you set up some study time. If they can't, find out if there is a place at the library, or maybe there is a place at church where you could study.

John: What if he tries but still doesn’t understand the material?

Wade: Well, if you really don't understand the material, find someone in your class who does. Many high schools have a peer tutoring program. If your school doesn't have such a program, ask your teacher if there is someone in the class who could help you. Some towns have programs for special study after school. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Others will respect you later on.

John: What if you just can't catch up in a class?

Wade: Perhaps you can ask to drop one class and take a study hall. But when you are in the study hall, plan your time well and actually study for the other courses. You are going to have to make up that class credit later. Perhaps you can catch up in summer school.

John: I have heard some kids say they won't study. They want to drop out of school as soon as possible and then get a GED later on.

Wade: I have heard that kind of hopeless talk, too. People who have dropped out of high school look back and see that as one of the biggest mistakes they ever made. In some states, teens can lose their driver’s license if they drop out of school. You can get a GED certificate after you are 18 years old, but you have to go back and learn the material that you were going to learn in school, anyway. So you learn it now or learn it later. And, of course, if you learn it later, you are the one who is going to pay the price in the meantime.

People who finish high school earn an average of $200,000 more in their lifetime than those who drop out. Those who finish college will earn even more. Some say college is needed just to keep your salary up with inflation.

John: I guess that makes sense, but it still seems hard.

Wade: No one said it would be easy. But make up your mind that you want to do better; formulate good study habits; eliminate pressures by talking about problems with your family or school counselor; and then make some time management decisions about how you are going to balance extracurricular activities and your study time. You can go to your teachers and counselors and work out an effective plan for making better grades.

John: Even when I want to try, I usually end up just giving up.

Wade: I found that one way of motivating myself is to set up a reward system. Do something you enjoy after each study time. Or ask your parents, grandparents, or someone if they will give you a reward if you will bring your grades up. For example, I know one teenager whose parents will let him use the car as long as he maintains a C average. I know one family that gives extra allowance for A's and B's. The reward system helps. Remember to be patient. It takes time to become a better student.

John: What if I do all this and my grades are still failing?

Wade: That may be a sign that you have some other problem. You may have a medical problem with your vision or hearing or memory. You may be severely depressed. Family problems and other stresses we mentioned earlier may be so great that you need help from a professional counselor.

Also, you will find it easier to be motivated to study if you have a sense of calling or a sense of vocation.

John: What do you mean by calling?

Wade: If you know what you want to do with your life and feel that God has given you a gift to do that, you will be more highly motivated to do well in school. Living for yourself and for fun soon leads to meaninglessness and depression. You must dedicate yourself to something.

A calling is one of God's great gifts to us. For example, some people know they want to be a minister. Others know that they want to do something in music or art or athletics. Whatever you do, if you do it for Jesus' sake, you will have more reward and more motivation.

In Matthew 16, verse 25, we are told, “ ‘For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of Me will find it’ ” (HCSB). Losing your life for Christ's sake might mean pursuing a vocation that you feel is a calling from God. God has given you the gifts that you have; and He has given them to you for a purpose.

John: Did you know all of this when you were in high school?

Wade: No, John, I must confess that I did not. It wasn't until college that I began to sense a calling. I can say that after I found a sense of direction, then studying was much easier. The calling helped my grades to go up.

John: That sounds encouraging. Let me summarize what you have been saying. First, I need to formulate good study habits. Second, I need to eliminate pressures. Third, I need to make some time management decisions about how I am going to balance my extracurricular activities. Finally, I need to begin to discover my calling.

Wade: Right. That's right, John. I'm glad we could talk together. I would encourage our friend visiting this site to talk to someone. Perhaps you can talk to a youth minister or the pastor at church. Maybe you can talk with your teachers or counselor at school. But talk to someone and begin to work out a plan.

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¹Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible^® Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2004 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission.

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The 24-Hour Counselor © 1999, Broadman and Holman Publishers.
All rights reserved. Compiled by Richard Ross.