How to Make Biblical Counseling Biblical

Written by Dr. Sam Williams

Sometimes during counseling it is absolutely overwhelming to hear of the shipwreck people have made of their lives. How do these things happen? Nobody sets out to make a mess of their life or their family. Who plans to become an addict, or to betray their wife or husband and commit adultery, or to become depressed? According to Pascal, “All men seek happiness.” So what happened?

Persons who seek counseling want help: they want to feel better, their child to behave, a spouse to straighten up. Most often they don’t understand the root of their problems, they just want solutions. All they know is their ship is sinking and they want help now!

O Shepherd, Where Art Thou?

Three questions can help us sort things out and then provide godly counsel that transforms lives: Who is this? Who am I? Who is God?

Who Is This?

To help someone who comes to you for counsel, it is important to understand what the Bible says about each person you encounter. The Bible emphasizes (1) the dignity and (2) the depravity of every human soul.

The Dignity of Each Person.
As you counsel, do you realize that sitting before you is a person made in the very image and likeness of God?

Each person should be heard. The honor and dignity with which they are crowned calls us to respect and listen to them.
Each person and their problems are unique. They are one-of-a-kind. This person, their problems, and their situation are as unique as their fingerprint.

So slow down and put first things first. What causes them to act, think, or feel like this or like that? Discovering an explanation for a human problem is a critical step. Once you know what’s wrong, the remedy will begin to surface.

So be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to arrive at final conclusions about the actual source of their difficulties. Ask key questions. Get the whole story. Don’t make a final judgment until you’ve talked to all the relevant people. “He who answers before listening-- that is his folly and his shame.” (Proverbs 18:13 NIV)

The Depravity of Each Person.
Depravity will always remind you that you are a sinner who is listening to a sinner. Sin is so offensive to God and destructive to others that our only hope is in the good news of Jesus Christ. Our biggest problems aren’t around us, they are in us. The heart of the problem is the problem of my heart.

Misery, confusion, and discord proceed from hearts that are full of evil and insanity. (Ecclesiastes 9:3) We need to explain that redemption is a primary need to counselees, whether believer or unbeliever. We need to be rescued. Sin is our main problem; Christ is the perfect solution.

Who Am I?
This is not merely a counseling appointment, it is a divine appointment. Is this encounter a part of God’s sovereign plan? Of course it is. Make no mistake about it. You are God’s appointed voice for this person at this time. God has orchestrated the intersection between this person, their problems, and your ministry.

Practically, what is counseling?

One-on-one ministry of the Word of God.
Focused, individualized discipleship that is fulfilling the Great Commission.
A redemptive relationship. You are submitting yourself to be a part of God’s restorative plan in someone’s life, allowing yourself to be a tool in the hands of the Great Carpenter.
An opportunity to love another by speaking the truth and grace of God, directly and personally, into a storm-tossed life.

Who Is God?
The Bible deciphers problems in two dimensions: horizontal and vertical. The horizontal dimension is most obvious: personal and relational problems. The vertical or spiritual dimension is less obvious, but more much more revealing and helpful to you as a counselor.

No problem is merely personal. Every problem of life is God-referenced. In whom or what does the person seeking counsel trust, serve, fear, seek, obey and love? God or some substitute? This is the fundamental dilemma for each of us and for counselees. The most pressing need is to know, love, and serve God above all else. It is Jesus Christ that says to the storm, “Hush, be calm.” Then He rescues sinking swimmers.

Applying the Questions
How can you apply these principles and take practical steps to biblically orient your counseling ministry?

Demonstrate confidence in God and His Word.
“The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of His heart to all generations.” (Psalm 33:11)
Be realistic about how change proceeds.
Explain the process of biblical change (progressive sanctification).
Be solution-oriented.
Tell stories about God’s work in your life and the lives of others.
Point out the sovereignty (He is in charge), providence (God is all good all the time), and shocking love of God. Underline present evidence of grace and the future hope of grace. God is over this, in this, up to something and up to something good.
Give homework.
Talking alone is not sufficient for change. Change occurs in the details of life. Prescribe clear, direct, specific, and realistic change in the form of homework. Be creative. Challenge them by assigning homework which stretches them and gets them involved in change immediately. Homework should involve learning biblical concepts (Bible homework) and adapting new behaviors (action homework). Explain the importance of obedient faith. Check up on and utilize homework in subsequent sessions.

Be confident of this: He who began this good work in their life surely is able to complete what He started (Philippians 1:6). Biblically orient your counseling to become a significant instrument of God’s work in the lives of those who seek your help.

Sam Williams is Assistant Professor of Pastoral Care at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, Wake Forest, N.C.

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