Making an Impact on Blended Families

Written by Gerry Peak

Churches who want to support and minister to families today are realizing that families come in all varieties. Because of the rate of divorce and the growing number of births to unwed mothers, the majority of children born today are expected to spend at least part of their childhood in a single-parent or a blended family. Shared custody, remarriage and step-parenting issues make today's family ministry a challenge for any church.

So how can a church make a difference in ministering to blended families? Here are some suggestions:

Wake up and smell the coffee. Realize that families today are not led by Ozzie and Harriet nor by Ward and June Cleaver. We were never like them. We never solved all of life's problems between commercials. Start examining the families who make up your church and live in your community. You will find an increasing number of blended families and single-parent families within the shadow of your steeple.

Seek professional help in understanding blended family issues. Consult a Christian counselor or a psychotherapist. Read some good books on blended family ministry. Discover the challenges that blended families face. The Brady Bunch was funny only because everyone worked from a script. Blended families do not have a script for dealing with the scars of a deceased spouse, parent, divorce, remarriage, discipline and communication.

Do not attempt to restrict the hand of God. Do not omit blended families from your ministry. Do not disregard the unique challenges with which they struggle. Jesus gave His life for widows, widowers, divorcees, orphans, and stepchildren. If you fail to reach out to this growing segment of families today, you restrict the hand of God's love in their lives.

Focus the church's eyes on the realities of blended family life. Ask your pastor to preach on the variety of family structures in your community. Educate your church to the presence of blended families in your church and community. Call for a Christlike response to reach out and minister to blended families.

Develop a practical strategy for blended family ministry. Gather together some of the blended families in your church and discuss how the church can better minister to them and families like them. Ask "How can our church help you deal with the challenges of marriage and parenting in a blended family?" Take notes. From the feedback you receive, work with these families to design a strategy to reach and minister to blended families -- families who are already church members and those who are not.

Empower blended families to minister to blended families. Sometimes, the best people to minister to blended families are members of blended families. After developing a ministry strategy, enlist and empower church members of blended families to launch this ministry. Some churches have begun blended family ministries by starting specific Sunday School classes for blended families. Other churches have offered free blended family seminars for the community. Give this ministry adequate funding and promotion from the pulpit, in the church newsletter and in the local or community newspaper. Create a Web site.

Establish collateral ministries and support systems for blended families. A variety of support groups, counseling services and recreational actitives can help blended families cope with and resolve difficult issues they face. Consider establishing a DivorceCare ministry, seminars on money management, conflict resolution, marriage enrichment, counseling for children of divorced parents - KidShare is an excellent resource for this purpose - grief support groups and classes on improving communication within the family. Give families a chance to play together, retreat together and share in meaningful family worship experiences.

Use your Sunday School ministry to meet the needs of blended families. Plan Bible study with the needs of these families in mind, and mention these needs in your weekly leadership meetings.Distribute family enrichment magazines like HomeLife and ParentLife as a way of strengthening families as well. Train your FAITH or other visitation teams to be sensitive to the needs and issues of blended families. Create and sustain an atmosphere in Sunday School that is truly inclusive.

Touch one family at their time of need you may save not just a family, but generations of families.

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